daughter's husband a crack addict and alcoholic

[Lily700]

Just a really important question.  I have custody of my grandaughter because my daughter stayed with her husband who was a crazy crack addict an alcoholic.  He is 40 and has been using since he was 16,  /he has relapsed numerous times, but this time he got out of jail and was a year clean - has not yet gone back.  She has gone back to them -this is their fourth place together.  I will keep the child who is 3 as long as the court will allow.  ////what are the chances he will never relapse?  The odds for a guy like that?  He has 5 other children from other mothers he dois not support.  I just don't trust him with my granddaughter and am seeing signs that he is being controlling with my daughter as well.  How long do you think he can last??  I persoanlly saw him give up and go back to the crack eleven times in the past.  /he is not my favorite person, yes, but I just want to be realistic.  Any help appreciated.  Lily

[j34]

I too am a recovering crack addict and I tell you that one yr clean is a big deal.The mental obsession of that drug is unbelievable.Have you ever tried saying to him job well done or some positive things to make him feel relief from your anger or unbelief that he can do this ?.We as addicts are a pretty sensitive bunch, ususally we and I will speak for myself. I have much guilt and shame where my addiction is concerned.I pack that around with me and just now I am learning to forgive myself!.Relapse is a maybe but this time he might not make it back.He needs support and some positivity from the people around him.I hope this helped a bit and my thoughts are with you. Thank God there are people like you in this world to help out the family of active drug addicts. It takes a lot and I say my hat is off to you! Great job!.

[LIZZIE LOU]

i watched my 16 year old son...the "gifted" student, track star, soccer standout, kid with a kind heart and soul...turn into a 17 year old MONSTER...all because of crack!  he gave up everything for crack...his social life, school, girlfriend, friends, family...he gave up himself to this devil.

you can worry all you want...but the reality of it is...it is totally up to him.  my advice to you would be to try and get your daughter into some al-anon meetings.  there, she might find the strength and courage to put her daughter first over her husband.  in the meantime, just take care of that baby...she needs you.

[gizzy32]

hi there. that is great, one year he has been clean and with that amount of time his chances at staying clean are so much better, but crack is one of the most highly mentally addictive drugs there is and once addicted, your addicted for life. to be totally honest with you, his chances of relapse are still pretty good, and without aftercare and a few changes to lifestyle then it will be tough to stay clean. one year clean from crack is amazing and maybe jail straightened him up and he won't go back to using. i don't blame you at all not trusting him with your granddaughter, i would not either. it took me about 40 relapses and something drastic happened to me that made me finally quit, otherwise i would still be using. maybe his jailtime helped him, i sure hope so. i can't say if he will use or not, but his chances at staying clean now  have improved a lot by staying off it this long. good luck

[GoingToMakeIt]

Another one to send a message to is gizzy32.
He has much knowledge on cocaine. He probably won't answer back until the am.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Hang in there. It is late for those on the east coast. Someone will post.

[Lily700]

No answers to my post?  I just saw him and am a nervous  wreck - so worried.  Please reply somebody - anybody!  Lily

[GoingToMakeIt]

1 year is very good. The odds are against him if the drugs are around him. Crack is mentally very hard to stay away from. But do wait for others to post on this too. I did not ever use crack.