day 1 again agh

[sfreeze20]

Hi not really a question I've been lurking on this site for months trying different methods to stop using hydros. I've been using about nine years now and everytme I've quit something happens to where I get prescribed them again and of course I think I can just take my prescription and walk away obviously an addict can't do that but likes to believe they can. Today I've had one and a half vicaprofen which some reason don't get me high like hydros so I have three 7.5 of them trying to use them when it's really bad probably another bad idea . I go back to work Sunday night I'm scared of wd at work **** I'm just plain scared of wd I've done it so many times now . Can a pill addict stay clean ...
Thanks for reading.

[Loveliveshere]

Im 28 and ive been taking hydros since i was 15. Its hard to quit. The longest ive been sober in 13 yrs when i was preg with my son. That was almost a year but relapsed. Please try to quit. I beg you. Ive lost my little family bcus of this. I miss my husband and my son. I was almost beat to death trying to buy some off of a dealer. It gets you nowhere. The high only lasts a little while. Im going on 3 days clean. Started mixing adderal with hydro and the withdrawls are horrible. I just wish i wouldve quit sooner. I hope you keep clean. Im trying my best too just have your family by u. Thats whats helping me.

[Loveliveshere]

I know how you feel.

[sfreeze20]

She does have addiction experience different d.o.c . I'm going to try tapering talked with husband and he plans on helping I feel guilty because I planned on C.T. Told my family I could go C.T. and failed .  I have been in pain management for over a year so that's where pills come from I've canceled all future appointments with them as they don't see an end to me needing pills which I believe is because I pay cash four times a month to see them so why would they want me to feel better without them , maybe I should explain the biggest reason for me wanting to quit. My spouse and I are paying a lot of money and having a lot of faith next month to have the chance to conceive and while technically I could stay on meds throughout I don't want that to be part of my hopeful pregnancy and child's life . I rationally know what's going on my father was a heroin addict and eventually died from its effects I know but that doesn't stop withdrawal I wish it did . I did sub last year it was horrible then sub Dr told me he didn't think I was addict he thought I have fibro and chronic pain bam pain clinic I felt huge relief not thinking I was an addict but now I don't care if its illness or addiction I just know I want clean but I also can't feel like a bedridden zombie for a week or so my job does not work like that . I definitely feel like I find ways to justify it while I'm also wanting off more then anything ..... There pretty much all of it once again thank you for taking time out regardless of how you feel about my motives or actions I appreciate it and hope one day soon I can say I did it.

[vicki595]

So you're going to taper now instead of just stopping?  Where are you getting the pills and what's your taper plan?  I have to say...if you were really serious about tapering, you wouldn't feel so guilty right now...

We'll be here to support you when you decide to stop-

[Sonrissa]

Does your best friend have any experience with addiction?  Tapering is fine, but it requires a detailed plan, and help and support to be successful. You will need to come up with a schedule for tapering, hopefully with the assistance of your doctor, you need to have someone trustworthy, who will not cave to your pleading for pills, hold them for you and dispense them exactly to the schedule. You can not do this on your own. I recently had to taper, and it was difficult to say the least. However, I had the support of my doctor, and I had a very strong person hold my pills for me.  I still experienced withdrawal symptoms.  It certainly can be done.  I wish you the best. Let us know how it's going.

[sfreeze20]

I kept telling myself pain is weakness leaving your body I read all your wonderful supportive post but when it came down to it I caved I feel so ******