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269143 tn?1310798952

day 4

4th,,,,,,anxiety is kicking my ***(along with other things)....have had add for most my life,,,the oxy's helped me concentrate on one thing at a time....today i feel like i've bounced around doing things and losing interest fast....my guitar is not my pal today either(strange)....i'm trying to set up a golf game to get me outa the house...dono what else to do...wish i could just go to sleep for a couple hours but i have never had the skills to nap,,,,can't turn off the brain....i find myself thinking of the trail of financial destruction that my issues have caused and how to fix them without being a weasle...my spelling is gone,,,sorry....anyway....sobriety is a strange thing....i might burn a joint to relax or something(weed is not an issue with me)...i have no question...just killing time and trying to figure things out......my hyperactivity is at a big time high......it is kind of scary but i wish i was at work,,,lol,,,,<----that is scary...ok.....that is all...peace
6 Responses
214255 tn?1205639236
YAY you finally did it you made it past you're 2 days was it? Congrats you finally came around you fell a few times, but you made it i'm very proud of you! Not sure how the weather is there, but if not rainy like here go for a walk/job see how you feel..
214607 tn?1287681159
If you continue to stay strong, this will all be nothing more then a bad memory. One that if you try and remember vividly, you won't ever want to re-live it. Stay strong my friend and congrats on day 4. It can only get better....

xo, Lisa
269143 tn?1310798952
wow,,,that  was fast..lol....i have made it to day 5 (last time),,,,,,i am supposed to golf in an hour,,,it will be rough....(i am in some pain)wich is what made me start my dope in the first place...i will tape my busted up parts and golf my heart out....it is nice out,,lil chilly but golf worthy...how you doing,,,clean?clear?ok?
214255 tn?1205639236
Oh yea and then the parents came to visit no?  Anyways i'm still so proud of you take some IB prophrin for the aches and have some fun even if you turn out to be miserable it's great to get out!
I'm good clean yes, life stressfull he ll yea, but thats what happens when you bounce back into reality.
269143 tn?1310798952
are u 3 peeps?......anyway,,thank you...tough battle man...i feel for everyone who goes through it,,,i have battled before but never opiates...they are a tough mofo....i'm feeling strange emotions today that i don't remember......i feel like i love my woman more than ever and have not felt this way in a long time....lol...even my cat is trying to get away from me,,,i just want to pet the hell outa him,,,poor lil dude...i am going golfing in 10 minutes,,,,have just duct taped myself up....wrist,knees,put on my back brace,,,blah,blah......good thing it's not warm or it would be visible...lol...anyway...peace and thx....gl to all.....L8R
239164 tn?1207266607
Day 4 is a rough day, but not as bad as 2 and 3, generally.  The anxiety sucks...especially if you tend to be hyperactive anyway.  I've never taken benzos, but I have found that, believe it or not, Benedryl works for me for that.  Of course, I'm not hyper.  My daughter has ADHD, and benedryl seems to rev her up.  Maybe disregard that suggestion.  

I found that the time before last, when I got out of rehab (5 days) I was so hyper.  I couldn't sit still, I couldn't concentrate.  I had to MAKE myself sit for 30 minutes and play the piano.  It's always been my refuge from the world.  I can lose myself for hours when I'm sitting in front of my piano.  I couldn't sleep.  I would roam the house all night waiting for someone to wake up.  My sweet Mom had come to take care of my daughter while I was in the hospital and she gets up every morning by 6:00 a.m.  She was a school teacher before she retired.  I would practically attack her as soon as she'd wake up.  I'd meet her with a cup of coffee and, I'm sure, talk her head off at 90 miles an hour!  LOL

During that time I read too many books to count, journaled, and watched all the late night infomercials.  My favorites were the Time/Life Treasury of Music ones.  Especially the one for soft hits of the 70s.  LOL

What I'm trying to say, I guess, is that it's normal and it passes.  Be thankful you have the energy to be hyper, actually.  After my last rehab (this past April) I was so weak I could barely lift my head off the pillow.  Hyperactivity was not a problem at all.  The time I'm telling you about was almost 4 years ago.  In fact, it will be 4 years this Thanksgiving.  I, obviously, relapsed, and relapsed bad.  I used daily for the next 3 1/2 years leading up to the rehab in April.  By that time I was using enough to kill a horse.

Remember that this is just a phase of the withdrawal.  You can expect it to last a little while, but it will definately get better.  Don't crave and give in to urges right now.  You'll look back with regret...I promise.  Go enjoy that golf game.  I'm in Houston and it's a beautiful day today!  It's cool, but not cold and the sky is this gorgeous blue that seems so much brighter during the Fall...when the weather is a little kinder.

Take care.  Congratulations on making it to Day 4.  Tomorrow is Day 5!  Just keep looking ahead and don't worry about yesterday.  The problems will work themselves out...they always do.  Have a great rest of the day.

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