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depression after oxy withdrawl

i just finished a 3 day detox from oxy-contin (40 mg. X 3 a day.
besides feeling a little weak and ringy, i seem to be physically
ok. what is bothering me is the the mother of all depressions. i
am talking putting a gun in my mouth depession. approx. how long
will this last. i periodically detox myself to find out where my
pain levels are at.(i don't want to be on oxy if i don't have to)
i've never expierenced this level of post physical depression.
is there something about oxy that gives it more of an emotional
"buzz saw" than other opiate withdrawal? it seems to me there is,
as i've expierenced withdrawl from other opiates and all though
they were physically more unpleasent, there was not this compent
of emotional. i'm already taking 400 mg of welbutronn a day, and
that seems to help some. today is my 4th day clean and i have no
physical symptoms of withdrawal, just this suicidal emotional
pain i seem to have no control over!

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
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222369 tn?1274474635
Hi...You have both posted on very old posts that may be passed over by some forum members. You can post a new question on your own thread if you don't get many replies. In the mean time..there's some info on my profile page that may be of some help...just click on the blue Ga Guy link to the left of this post...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
HEY THERE I AM TOTALLY IN THE SAME BOAT AS U TODAY IS MY 4TH DAY OFF OXY'S I WAS DOING ABOUT 3 80 MGS PILLS A DAY WITH MY FIANCE ITS BECOME A HUGE PROBLEM IN MY LIFE AND I DESPERATLY NEEDED TO GET OFF OF THEM !! AND I AM FEELING THE SAME WAY AS U ARE THE DEPRESSION IS BIG FOR ME TOO...IM ALSO FEELING PRETTY WEAK!! BUT IM SURE WE CAN PULL THRU....KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK SKIPPER!!
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Avatar universal
I am to one of you guys except i was never prescribed oxycottins.  A buddy came over one day with some 80 mg oxys and we snorted them and ive been doing them now for 6 months.  Well actualy Roxycodone 30mg the blue ones is what ive been on but pretty much the same thing.  Now I need to stop, I have tried in the past when i couldn't get my hands on them and it was to hard!!  I am emotional body hurts, depressed, no energy, and cant sleep.  

I know if i just take one pill this will all go away.  What to do.  So i get some more always.  I am now talking to you guys on my first day with nothing again.  I dont plan on getting any more now that i moved to a new state i cannot get them.  I am crying this whole time writing and i dont even know why!  This is horrible.  I cant get any of the prescriptions that you guys can get because i was never prescribed anything i just got them off the streets.  Now its just so imbarable i cant stand it.  I have a wife and a daughter and im 22 years old.  I want to feel normal again but its so hard.  PLEASE HELP!  is there anything i can take that is over the counter that may help me??  

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Avatar universal
jails, institutions or death.  i'm a dilaudid junkie.  i've been on methadone twice.  i detoxed off the 1st time without too much trouble, tapering down, keeping immodium close by, drinking gatorade.  i hurt in places i never knew existed.  i was clean for 6 months with the help of NA.  then i relapsed, 1 -2 -3 times.  the second relapse was the worse.  it landed in 2 different rehabs.  it was rehab or lose my nursing license.  i found out the rehab was treating the licensure requirements, not me.  they had me on a slow phenobarb detox (for i had been on one or another benzo since i was 14, and now i'm 36), they kept the seizures at bay, but i had a heart attack. i held on to my psyche as hard as i could.  i got out and was betrayed by my family.  i had spend my birthday and Thanksgiving day-same day in one rehab.  then most of december in another rehab.  my ex and daughter dropped me at my sister's house.  as soon as i got money in my hands, a trigger for me, i went back to the dope man's house.  this  was  my 3rd and final relapse.  not too many months passed before i knew i was going to be doing flat backs for $25, die, or go back to methadone.  methadone saved my life this time.  i'm not putting a time limit on it.  i've come off before and i know what hell is.  i am getting stronger and stronger about drugs.  
i think so much of you kicking in a cabin in the woods.  i have good thoughts for you.  you are one hell of a guy.  keep up the good work and keep posting.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Kee
not being able to sleep is my biggest problem, and hot flashes and i haven't been able to eat for a few days.  I have been using heroin daily for over 8 years (with a few months here and there in methadone clinics) I have recently hit the bottom of rock bottom.  this is the last chance i have to get clean and stay clean.  I have many legal and financial problems that i have run from, I am lucky enough to be given this chance to come clean.  I am hiding out in a rural new england cabin.  I took my last meth pill yesterday. I only have 6 dollars which wouldn't be enough for gas to get me anywhere.  I try to explain to myself the insanity of addiction, but i can't and i know that anyone who hasn't been there can't even begin to understand it. the symptoms of withdrawl keep me going back.  I am not sure why i am writing here.  I guess it's because i read a bunch of postings and they were supportive. and about oxy's i am not sure what you all saw in them except that they were prescribed, I could eat them (shoot them) all day long and they barely even tickeled me. well good luck to everyone. I know that either death or jail are my only other options if i don't turn things around.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Kee
not being able to sleep is my biggest problem, and hot flashes and i haven't been able to eat for a few days.  I have been using heroin daily for over 8 years (with a few months here and there in methadone clinics) I have recently hit the bottom of rock bottom.  this is the last chance i have to get clean and stay clean.  I have many legal and financial problems that i have run from, I am lucky enough to be given this chance to come clean.  I am hiding out in a rural new england cabin.  I took my last meth pill yesterday. I only have 6 dollars which wouldn't be enough for gas to get me anywhere.  I try to explain to myself the insanity of addiction, but i can't and i know that anyone who hasn't been there can't even begin to understand it. the symptoms of withdrawl keep me going back.  I am not sure why i am writing here.  I guess it's because i read a bunch of postings and they were supportive. and about oxy's i am not sure what you all saw in them except that they were prescribed, I could eat them (shoot them) all day long and they barely even tickeled me. well good luck to everyone. I know that either death or jail are my only other options if i don't turn things around.
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Avatar universal
hello everyone,

i have been taking o.c.'s for about the last 9 mos.
sometimes 4-40's a day and i am ready to come clean. like everybody else the withdrawl and a drug test i know is coming
very soon. has anybody heard of rapid detox [4-6 hrs.-dr. supervised]? i was thinking about checking into that.
has anybody heard or done that? and if so could you please
elaborate............

                            lost in phila.
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Avatar universal
i am so glad that you are taking the first steps to recovery!!!!  you recognize your problem and want to do something about it.  i do not have alot of answers to your questions, but i would like to add that i "cold turkey'd" off of 20+ vicodin a day..  it was a long hard habit...  but i know that my withdrawl symtoms will be different than yours..  i have noticed that alot of people on here are discussing the depression issue...  i have not experienced any depression, but only due to the fact that i am taking lots of anti-depressants even while i was taking my vicodin.  i know that my first day of stopping, was bad...  i had all kinds of feelings going thru me.  that was the ONLY day i experienced anything close to being depressed.  i can truly say that i have been very happy since i have quit...  i think i have laughed more the last two weeks than i have the last 2 years....  i didnt think about the consequences of inneracting the 3 medications, but i am sure glad i did, because i believe that is what saved me from hitting the lows...  i have read posts on here similar to mine, but i would not recommend this without your doctor knowing.  after i came clean to my dr. about the vicodin abuse she was pretty pissed, not to mention i have to go in for random drug testing.  i have gotten lined up for a addiction recovery group and i'm looking really forward to that, before i go on to the next addiction.  i know my life is through with pain medication. i contacted the dr. that was prescribing them and told him "NO MORE, NEVER AGAIN!!!!!  

i wish you all the luck in the world...  i still believe that the price we pay in detoxing is well worth it!!!  i still free as though i have been asleep for so long..  everything is clear, i am happier than i have been in a very long time...  it was time... spring is on its way here, time for re-birth...  i will keep you close in prayer...  please keep coming back to the boards.  you are in very good hands here.  we love you and will support you all we can....  

blessings....  stars
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Avatar universal
I'm about to stop cold turkey from my addicition of oxy 20mg 3x daily.  But along w/oxy, I take lortab 10/500 up to 20 per day!  I'm off work the next 8 days to try to detox from all of them.  Should I do this alone w/my hubby at night after work w/me.  Or try detox under supervision?  I have ambien if I need it.

I didn't want to go to detox and deal w/roomates and share bath rooms.  I'm sure I'll be on the toliet for most of my day.  Other than that, I don't know what to expect.  Except I get cold easily, and from the few times I was w/out meds for a day.  I was shivering, had goosebumps and cramps.  What's up with all the comments about depression after detox.  I don't think I could handle any more of what I'm currently going through.

I know my chronic pain condition will still be there haunting me without my pills, but I'm getting far too carried away with the dosage at this point in my life.

I don't know what to expect and would appreciate any and all help from you guys out there.  I've read lots of different posts, and it's making me more afraid of what withdrawl will be like.  How long will the worst of it last?  Been taking the oxy for 4 years and the lortab about 13 years.

Then, what do I do once the worst is over?  Where do I go for help on learning how to take my meds properly and to understand why I took them for reasons other than my pain.

Any feedback would really be well received!

Thanks,
DawnsLight
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Avatar universal
schlub:
i just read a post from you today on another thread, so i guess
i can assume you made it through the night ok. just wanted to
let you know my thoughts were with you (i had a real sleepless
night). hold your head up high and know that you are doing the
very best you can. i'm not kidding when i tell you something
good might happen today!

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal


Hi Skip (and everyone):

I am feeling better today. The Buprenex is helping enormously, so I'll be fine until I stop using it in a few days. Then comes the depression and lethargy, which is almost unbearable to me.

But there's no way around it, is there?
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Avatar universal
Wow girl, you sound so strong, you are definately going to make it!!!  I'm so happy to hear you are feeling good so soon, that's a great sign!!!
Keep up the good work, and thank you for mentioning that i was a help to you during your time with addiction!
Give yourself a great big hug for me!! :)
Hey, and get a little of that 'sex' thing for me, huh, because i have no idea what that is anymore!  (ugh!)
Lv Jenny
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i am new to this forum, i stumbled upon this site by accident?
Or so i like to tell myself, i started to use oxycotin for my pain. After reading peoples stories i realized that alot of you are telling my story in a way. I did not realize that other people could know my deep dark secrets. I am a mother of 3, and i have a drug problem(first time i ever admitted) thank you for your stories.
              confused.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hope.me:
welcome to this forum. there will always be room for one more ad-
dict, so please come in. if you get nothing else from the people in this forum besides knowing your not alone your visit will have been worthwhile.

never got the burning skin from oxy (yet), but my wife can tell you all about my memory loss. i don't think it's permanent. stick with us at this forum and there will always be an understanding person who has been where you at and where your headed.

posting for the first time is an ultimate act of courage and sur-
render. further posting will help bring back some of the common
sense that addicts forsake to their disease. the strength you
gain from posting is also strength given to a suffering addict.

i used to wake bewildered
by my actions and words.
i was a small person in
a world growing ever smaller.

today i awake bewondered
still a small person
in a world that grows
ever larger everday

gods speed in finding what you need hope.me

& keep an angel on your shoulder
kip

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Avatar universal
hello this is my first time to post. i didn't know they where so many people with the same problem i have. oxy withdrawal. Have you ever had burning of the skin, and memory loss, God i can't remember anything. My family tells me all the time i've sit and watched movies on tv. and i don't remember. Gonna beat this though, just like you skip. this is one lesson i will never forget. Pain was the problem now the problem is what tried to stop the pain. It worked for awhile, matter of fact it still does. It's not worth it, if i can just get the monkey off my back. Sorry about the grammar. Hope i didn't waste anyones time. Thank You....hope.me
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Avatar universal
hello , this is my first time to address my problem and ya'lls. I have been on oxy 80mg, for 3 years. At this time I and my Dr. are helping myself to feel like a real human being should feel. I have been wheaned down to percocet. From reading all the post i've read it will take me awhile to beat this, but i will beat this and never be put in this kind of a mess again, because of pain. The pain is bad , but nothing compared to this living hell. Alot of things kip and someone fla has said have helped me already and everyone who posts on this forum. I was burning like fire, not sleeping, i never took the gun to my head, but i thought about it alot. Now, i'm gonna beat this problem. My Dr. understands my problem, ( he should ). I don't sleep well but the burning is gone for now. Hopefully i will never get this dependent on something so terrible, that i just hope i get over this and if i can, i think the pain will be no problem, because this is the most pain anyone should ever have to go through. Please excuse the grammar and God Bless all of you and God Bless our country. Thank You for listening. hope.me
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Avatar universal
schlub:
it sounds as if your not winning the fight you seem to be having
with your self! i know that feeling too. it comes with terms like
loser, pathetic.... you are not in condition to access your self
worth! try to get some sleep tonight....maybe something good will
happen tomarrow!
at any rate, keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
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Avatar universal
sorry for the double post -- I have no idea how that happened, but it does seem to emphasize what a loser I am.
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Avatar universal


Kip, I must be really dumb (aside from having a rotten personality) but it never occurred to me that part of what I was feeling was anxiety & panic, which the Bup doesn't really help in the first few days. So I took acouple of 5 mg valiuems and that claustrophobic feeling you talked about pressing down on my chest so much that it feels hard to breathe has lessened.

Thanks for the advice.

How do I keep my mind from being subverted by the panic of withdrawal? Without that panic, without what this addiction does to your mind, I might treat my current symptoms as not much worse than a bad flu. But it makes me crazy.

I lose all courage, all fortitude.

Listening to me whine, you would never guess that I spent many years working as a war correspondent, would you?

Look what happened to me. No courage, no grit. What a shame.

I'll hang in for one more day, the try again tomorrow for one more day after that. And it's not like I have a bad life, nothing to fight for.

I've got a perfect marriage and a newborn baby.

What a pathteic loser I am.
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Avatar universal
Hi friends!!!  I know I don't post often, but, read often. I want you to know that you, no one else, has helped me to make a decicion to stop abusing painkillers.  I am only clean for a week now, but, I feel so good.  One reason is that I finally broke down and told a friend of mine, who is a therapist too, and I trust him.  I told him, only because I knew that would be the only way I would stop and stick to it.  I won't let him down.  I really feel good right now, more alive, sexier, and look at the things around me that mean so much.  I am more organized.  I went to the movies today, and will go again tomorrow, alone.  Getting out of the house and not thinking about paikillers is wonderful.  I am going to keeep this up.  I am strong.  I never used any drugs before, none illegal.  I only got addicted to these pills because they helped my severe pain so I started taking too many at one time.  But, I never tried to get more.  I just went through withdrawal over and over until my next presccription.  Sick of that!  Man that hurts!!!And I was so ashamed and embarrassed for myself, because I have dealt with so much trauma in my life, abusive childhood, abusive first marriage, and I got out of them when I was ready.  So you see, that's how I know I can do this.  Witchy Woman if you read this, I am proud of you, and you helped me a lot.  JennyFla you have been so sweet and kind so much like me.  You will do this too, when the time is right.  I kind of hit rock bottom.  My doc ordered sleeping pills because I wasn't sleeping.  those pills made me crazy , I called people and left message on phones and everyone said what in the world was wrong with me.  OH my God, how could I have done that.  Turns out those sleeping pills cause short term memory loss, and hallucinations if you take them and then get up and move around.  No one told me that. But, I thank them, they saved me.  I am stoppingall this stuff,  I cannot stop seeing the birds, pushing my career more and more, finding another friend and lover.  None of this has mattered for the last several years, the pills took care to be my lover, my friends, and took away my emotional pain.  Well, I am ready to live again.  Skipper, think about what is out there!  It doesn't matter how long you have used, you can stop.  Get help if need too.  Feel your own body again, get your sex life back with your lovely wife, see the sun rise. I have to think of all this and everyone else and stop dwelling on my own pain.  That is how I will do this.  Bless all of you.  I will pray everyday for all of you, especially Witchywoman, Skipper and Jennyfla who have stood by me and many more.  Love you guys!
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Avatar universal
all the addicts:

sorry for not posting for so long. i'm ok mostly. have awful pain
in neck that runs down my right arm. had to go visit my father
who is nursing home and is losing his mind on the instalment
plan. took 20 mgs of oxy-c for car ride (3 1/2 hours). i also
took 20mg for car ride back.

ya know i always thought oxy-c in copious quantity helped me
handle this nursing home stuff. you know watching your father
become less and less the man he once was.... well this time i did
the whole visit clean and believe it or not it went much beter
straight.

i will probably go back on oxy thursday after seeing the pain
doc. i want to discuss some other pain control options. i don't
know if it will lead to any thing...

**** i'm sitting at the computer with tears runing down my face.
my wife let out a causual remark about how pleasent it was to
have the "the real kip" back. i'm sure she didn't me for it to
make me feel guilty, but it did.

the way i see it right now i have 3 options:
1) stay on oxy and possiably lose my wife
2) try to find other ways to cope with intractable pain that
don't involve drugs
3) get the gun in my mouth and get me and everyone out of my mis-
ery.

i don't like any of these choices. i never thought about what i
would do if i ever actually NEEDED opiate pain killers when i
used to rip off drugstores and shoot all the dope i could put my
hands on! well i guess i'm at the point in my life where many of
my transgessions have caught up with me. (**** i thought i paid
up and cleaned up in jail) i'm not in a good place with any of
this... but i have this forum to draw strength from!

like Jim Foggel said in drug store cowboy, "i think i'll stay
straight today- maybe something good will happen. it doesn't
sound like much, but that's what i got going for me right now.

please remember i am going to love and care about all of you, and
there isn't one god damm thing any of you can do about it! the
really bad days are what make the really good days

so keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
(((HUGS))) Kip!!!
I feel for you, i really do!  I know that's not what your looking for, but i can't help it.
I don't think you're going to loose your wife, she cares and loves you very much, i can tell!
Talk to you doctor, look into your options, you never know!
I wish i could be my 'old self' again too, i miss me!
My husband is so far far away, i don't know if i will ever see him again.  The only time i 'see' him is when he's in rehab.
He is so in a fog, it scares me because is talking suicide a lot these days.  I can't do anything right, everything is my fault, and he's falling apart right in front on my eyes and it tears my heart to shreads to watch.  I'm calling someone today, gonna try to get him in to 'talk' to someone at least.  Screw the drs, they've never helped in the past, i'm gonna try someone 'real'.
He doesn't need drugs, he needs someone to talk to, and i'm not the right person, it's obviously not helping to talk to me anymore.
Good luck Kip, and know that you help so many, even if it comes at a cost for you, from experience.  BUT, remember, we all have a purpose here in this world, and everything is for a reason.  I will say a prayer that your pain will decrease so that you will be able to cut your ties with medication forever!!!!
(((HUGS)))
Love Jenny
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
How's everything going.  I know, i hate when people ask me that question too!
Just wanted to let you know that i'm thinking about you, i haven't seen you post very much lately!
Hope things are at least stable with me and you.
Depression is definately an awful disease and much more common than most people know.
I just pray one that that no one will have to suffer from these awful diseases of the mind (addiction, depression, etc.)  
Isn't the world hard enough, why are we made to suffer so.
Hang in there, and know you have friends that care and think about you often!
(((HUGS)))
Lv Jenny
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Avatar universal


I'm in a bad place myself right now, but I'm thinking about you Skip. You have a real strength in you that I, who spend so much time whining about my "symptoms," really admire.

I hope that strength of yours leads you to some answers -- or at least, some partial answers.

Take care.
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