detoxing opiates

[randy3504]

5 years ago I had 3 lung surgeories inside of 3 months they put me on oxycontin 40 twice a day with percent 10 4 times daily as soon as I could walk again I was abusing it after a year I quit using other drugs like an idiot 2 years ago I hurt my back really bad its still really bad so they put me on 4 per cs a day that lasted a couple weeks then I was buying more and for almost two years I've been taking 25-30 a day I know its ridiculous but that's the addict in me I recently moved from my home to another state to be with my mom so she could ween me off once I got down to a normal amount it wasn't enough so like an idiot I started stealing from her and she found out yesterday so she cut me off yesterday all day today it gradually got worse till an hour ago I couldn't take the pain any longer so I grabbed my keys trying to go to the er and fell I couldn't make it she found me on the floor my toes purple so she gave me one percent which is the only reason I'm able to write this I spent some time reading from this earlier but couldn't really post I barely feel well enough to now but reading you ppls posts are helpful I know right now someone is feeling how I feel and I hate it I can't go cold turkey my back pain is magnified and legs  hurt too much and I was so light headed I've got to get into a rehab or something even being an electrician for 13 years its hard to afford that many but that was all I could afford after my bills or I would've been worse I'm sure I can't really afford a rehab my mom can but she's not gonna I'm near Atlanta if anyone knows where I can get free or fairly cheap help thanks for reading and for posting

[help4me44]

how are you doing? What did your dr say? I called mine and had a ong talk with him, I have a very good relationship with him however i feel if i let him know why I am feeling so depressed he would be SO DISAPPOINTED in me, so I decidednot to mention it. I already take wellbutrin and zoloft so he upped both meds and I was doing really good..... I was 12 days clean and startin to feel great and as if I could hndle the small tasks, walking my dogs, loading the dishwasher and unloading and my phone rang and who was it the guy I would getpills from. I relasped and am now paying for it. im, 4 days clean and dont think i could ever just take one and think its ok, as great as it made me feel I realize I cant take them. I am going to stay on this crzy train because I have made it though the worst and HAVE to keep going, I have such an amazing man in my life who supports me and I am going to loose it ll if i dont keep my act clean this time around.

[help4me44]

Thank you so much for your response. I am interested to hear what your doctor says about the AD's. How many days have you been clean now? how many days did it take to start to feel better? did any of the vitamins help and also what did you use. I know Hydrocodone is stored in fat cells so I feel like i should just work out and hopefully sweat it out while also helping my endorphin's, however as we all know the thouht of wlkin to the next room is tiring.
Tramadol, I didnt even know that was addicting, glad you said something bc my back is killing me and I have some from a previous accident, however if its addicting Im not sure I should take it. Do you mind me asking how many milligrams you were taking at your worst point?
And O btw on day two I felt great, it went down hill from there. I dont know if hanging around the house in a stress free environment is what I should be doing or being out and social. Being social is so hard riht now but once im out Im good. I have anxiety but I have clanapin (prescribed) to help with the anxiety. (it was prescribed to me several years ago after my brother was killed in a accident that I waas suppose to be driving and then exactly two years latr my best friend was killed in an accident that I was suppose to be driving in both situations they were headed back to my house!!!! I have never felt like benzo's are something I would get addicted to becasue they make me lethargic and I like to stay active so I feel ol takin those as needed. Also this is so bad but so honest, I just want to drink, like a person would do to drown their sorrows after a breakup. I  guess this is a break up but I am scared to drink because I think its a temp fix and know the next day I will be depressed as alcohol is an anti depressant. Any suggestion

[Farmgal40]

Help4me44:  
Okay, reading your posts I felt like I was reading some of my own. I was EXACTLY where you are. FIRST - CONGRATS ON DAY 6 - SERIOUSLY!  And I know you feel like you'd rather die right now then live without pills. I thought that every good thing I've ever done (having a nice house, great spouse, being a great friend, cooking nice meals -  superwoman at my job, "top of xxx - you name it list" - that was me) was because of pills. Well, DUH - I was only addicted to pills for a year, and I had to remind myself that I accomplished all those things before the pills came along (for me it was Tramadol.)

I said some of the same things you did above exactly "when will I start enjoying life again?"  and I can tell you that things do change almost daily, they get a little better.

I also felt like I was at the absolute lowest and could not go on, I had no reason to "live".  At that point I called my MD and the earliest I could not get in for almost 2 weeks - which is actually coming up Friday 8/30  (haha tomrrow) - and my plan was to beg for anti depressants and gobble them down. I was also very concerned about wanting my brain to "re-set" naturally and not screw it up w/ more drugs - but there are so many helpful posts on here - read, read, read!  Lots of people used AD's to help temporarily get over the initial awful feelings. Honestly if some one posted -"oh eat 30 banana's" I would have, I was so desparate.  I have to say,I will probably still talk to my doc about AD's tomrw, but I do not have any immediate plans to fill the script, because I am feeling a little better every day. And so funny - I did the SAME thing, ordered all the vitamins, probiotics, etc.

So I just wanted to add my support, since I have also felt like being in a black hole - but if you stick with it, it doe get better each day!

[help4me44]

I couldnt help but relate to your article, I have done the same however I dont have children and want them some day so I knew I had to stop. I am on day 6, I am feeling so depressed, unmotivated, and cant see to give myself credit for even getting to day 6. Im an emotional basket case, Im doing it alone, ABSOLUTELY no one knows that I have been taking them, not even my ever so supporting bf..... I have had a history with ulcers so my faily aand friends think I amjust talking a much more radical drug and these are the side effects they are causing. (sorry for the miss spelling I am crying as I type this) I am scared i have ruinded myelf, my brains natural ability to make its own serotonin and to make it worst i have an amazing psychiatrist (who I have never gotten a norco script from)  but i take wellbutrin already. I am wondering if i should contact him and maybe see if he has some suggestions? Yesterday I ordered so may vitamins and cleanses along with probiotics to clean my blood stream, I am under a lot of stress already right now in my life and the pills seem to make it all better.
So I guess my question is to you, how long did it take you to start actually enjoying life again, feel halfway normal? Like I said i am on day six and I thought today well maybe one might help take the edge off but then realized what a stupid thought that was? how are you doing today? do you have any suggestions or pointers for me?  do you think I should call my psychiatrist, also should I not drink any alcohol at all because I think that might be making me feel worse too the next day. I know I ave to do this to kick this habit however I cant help but feeling like my life is passing me by and Im being so unproductive. I am thankful enough that I dont have to work so dealing with th symptoms is a lil easier bc Im not in a public setting however maybe being around people will help. Please help Im lost, sad and am as far down in this black hole as I have ever felt.

[Skidmore]

Hi Pal,I to am an electrician in nyc I have read your post .I wasclean for 14 years picked up 3years .cot clean for 3years and now I am kicking 120 mgs os oxy a day I am on day two .I am     forcing myself to go to work things get better and one pill oxy came into my life .Next I new I was getting 20 at atime. I went out for about 2-months and it ***** my brother god bless I will pray for yoi

[selfinduced]

How are you feeling now?

[randy3504]

Thanks I was too light headed and fell after wards she checked my bp cause of my toes it was 212 /38 so she gave me a bp pill I stopped my 25-30 yesterday I'll check into anything to make this more do able thanks

[selfinduced]

Hi Randy, So sorry about your fall. Talk about adding insult to injury. Are you still taking 25-30 a day? I know to bow out of work/life/responsibilities for a week or more is not easy, but you need to do this to get your life uprighted. Can you make a Dr. appt. and explain your addiction? He/She can guide you along and give you a few non-addictive meds to ease the process. As your finding out a habit like yours is impossible to keep up forever and your tolerance will just build. More will be along that have tapered/ct off the same dose. In the meantime check out the thomas recipe in the health pages and start feeding your body the supplements. You may also be surprised if you speak with your mom and tell her you are ready to stop this nonsense, she may foot the bill for inpatient rehab. Prays to you.