I have been getting high since I was 13. So yes being young effects whether you have a mark on you in adulthood. I started with beer then pot then cocaine then percodans then K4's then well you see the point here. In 1989 I became a pain patient and this continued but with doctors watching over me. I take my drugs/meds as prescribed and I always will test negative for other things not approved of my doc. I have never been to a AA or a NA meeting but I know of the plan and if it works, thank God! I know that it is OK for me to be on these Drugs and I trust my doc more than anyone now. Whether you are in AA/NA or just doing it thru a doc, being real and true to yourself is most important in any ones life. Being a good person comes in alot of different packages and I for one love that each one of us is different. May God Bless you all! Bill (bmac)
The part in your post about being honest with your dr. caught my eye. Im coming off methadone(its been a long but successful road so far)Recently I have been very depressed/angry/paranoid. Especially paranoid.Wont eat wont leave the house that kinda stuff. My boyfriend has been keeping things together since I have been in this state.(about 2 wks)Anyway back to my question.I do not have legit pain and abused pills recreationally. My boyfriend took me to a dr. Friday stating that he is afraid for my life. I told the dr. how I felt anxious,paranoid, depressed(had an actual panic attack in his office) but I didnt mention the part about my drug abuse for fear he would send me to detox.I came too far on my own to get sent away from my kids for 28 days. He diagnosed me with panic disorder and depression and gave me paxil and xanax which I have chosen not to take.Did I make a mistake in not telling him about my drug abuse? Any replies would be appreciated.Thank you
No, you where smart. I am only honest with the one doc I trust. He knows everything. I am a pot smoker and two months ago I was kicked out of a pain docs clinic because I kept testing positive for pot well since then I am back with the old pain doc and he doesn't care if I use pot or not because it keeps me from taking more meds. Once you find someone you can trust be open but in your sistuation you might need those xanax's, as for the paxal I don't take anti depressants, in my opinion they are BS. I get depressed when I take them. If you need to vent, vent on babe. We are always here for you! BMAC
The only difference telling that doc would have made is you being prescribed meds with less abuse potential. Instead of the xanax, maybe he would give you trazadone (at least for sleep). That is about the only thing that would have accomplished. Having the xanax handy for when you might need them is good.
I know what you mean about some addicts appearing to have "stunted" mental and emotional personalities. But I've seen that sort of behavior in people who didn't become addicts until they were "adults". I can't imagine what it would be like to be an addict at 14 or 15 years old -- just the thought scares me. I guess anyone who becomes an addict while they are still growing will be immature to some degree -- it makes sense
Personally, I knew I had substance abuse problems years ago -- I'd go years at a time with abusing anything, but I never let myself think "gee, I've gone through school, have a great job, great spouse (once I married), great friends -- so I must not have a problem like those "other people". Self-acceptance is really key -- my DOC was alcohol -- I struggled with it off and on for years -- when I finally really accepted myself, the alcohol was no longer a problem
The one concept I REALLY don't understand is how any addict can not KNOW that they have a problem -- you don't have to be a genius to figure it out. I understand people not wanting to admit it, but I've heard people insisting they don't have a problem, and can tell that they really believe that they don't. I just don't get it
regarding your post....to me, that was always a conflicting thing. the pills seem to help me BE responsible, not irresponsible. i'm able to function with them...i pay all my bills, take care of my man and my daughters...i don't know it's crazy. i din't start using until my mid-twenties when i had several surgeries. then i had my wreck recently and hurt my neck really bad. now i'm dealing with oxycontin, which i feel is nothing but the devil.
it's so good to be back here. i hope nobody has lost faith in me. i am so sorry i failed and haven't gotten better. the best word i could use to describe this place is COMFORT. it just helps in so many ways.
we've all said it before, and we've all been there before, but this time, for me -- it's SERIOUS. i don't have insurance anymore, no choice but to w/d. i've got almost twenty 20 mg oxycontins left, and after that --- i'll have to detox here at home. i don't know why, but i'm more afraid than ever before. god, i'm so scared. maybe its because this time i know it's for real and final. but, it's a relief that i don't have to worry about work anymore. i can w/d and not have to worry about calling in sick or what my boss will think. maybe i should be glad - it's finally happening and i'll be free!
i've rambled too much already. i love you all. my email is ***@**** if anybody would like to email me some encouragement (OR IF YOU NEED ENCOURAGEMENT - we're all in this together!) LOVE YOU ALL!
what are k-4's? just wondering....
K4s are dilaudid(sp?) on the pill it had a crooked k and a 4 for 4 mgs I guess sorry I didn't explain.
thank you --- just didn't know.
hang in there...you can do it...
thanks, Jack. You are a sweetie, truly.
it's going to be tough, but i know i can do it. everybody (including you, jack) -- please tell me it won't kill me to w/d from oxy. no health conditions that would interfere or anything like that, i'm just scared. tell me it won't kill me. i know it sounds silly, i know it does. tell me i can do it. my willpower and strenght are **** this time.
it's ok ...YOU CAN DO IT...IT WILL NOT KILL...i'm clean 6 days now and it is wonderfull!!!! go for it..email me if you need me..i'm here...GOOD LUCK...IT ONLY LAST 2 OR 3 DAYS...JUST GO FOR IT!!
Hey I cold turkey'd methadone and Morphine so It ain't goona kill you. You might feel like dying but it ain't gonna kill you.
My email address is posted all over this forum so if it gets too tuff email me, I am up all the time. I am a vampire, I never sleep (yeah right)! There are things you can do before hitting an ER at the hospital. Take care! Bmac in Bama
WHAT THE HELL HAVE WE GOT OUR SELFS INTO...GOD BLESS US ALL....
You mentioned your neck injury so I am assuming you might need to take something for it. With you losing your insurance, have you thought of checking out www.needymeds.com? I know Purdue has a patient assistance program. Bmac can tell you all about it.
I called needy meds and they told me to have my doc phone them. I received a script in the mail with Purdues address on it and was told it would be here the day before I am to run out. Believe it or not I have full insurance coverage too. They just take your docs word on it. My insurance goes when my divorce is final, soon I hope! Needymeds rox! Thanks MrM Bill
Hey Jack We be addicts brother. Drugs can kill you know!
Peace to everyone this beauitful afternoon, it is 70 and sunny here at the lake and I hear the birds chirpin and the catfish ajumin, youz guyz wanna come over? Bmac
It would release the mind bro! Hang tuff! It gets better, I promise! Bill
i am doing great 6 days CLEAN from taking 80-120 mg of oxy a day ..for over 10 years..went cold/T on monday .....well maybe not great but very good anyways...man it's 93 here..hot as hell
i had the guts to flush my medS down the crapper...i still can't beleve i did that...i have a hard f...head....yes i'm patting my self on my back...i'm so glad...i will never go back..NEVER!
Jack, you are one tough dog, my respect goes out to you. I detoxed from herion and oxys and it was BRUTAL. At one time I was a four state boxing champ and I ended up in the hosp. from dehydration and a sickness that I'll never forget. Guess champs can be pussies too! Right on, for your achivement! P.S. Southernbelle, don't mean to scare you, it was much easier the second time with the Thomas Recipe and keeping lots of fluids down! Also, I,m sure the herion didn't help! ha.ha! afriend//////
Withdrawals won't kill ya remember that. It does get better. The Thomas recipe saved my life so you need to be taking it. It helps the mental ****. I remember cold turkey and I wasn't man enough to finish it. I used phenobarb and clonidine. I was over the physical part in a week after that. The mental **** went on 51 days until I went and was put on Kadian, Morphine SR. When that first 20 mgs hit my stomach I was hooked all over again and still am. I have broken out all over my body and switched to Norco 10 and now I am waiting on my docs office to open tomorrow so I can switch to Oxycontin. The cycle never ends until U end it brother. I know withdrawing Jack and I swear it gets better. You and SouthernBelle need to be using the recipe, you especially because it is good after you go thru the BS first. Hope you find the strength to do what I couldn't do! Peace, Bmac
If you can start tapering (spacing them farther apart) it will help with your detox tremendously. (Some can taper, some can't) If you can't, it's ok. I was crushing 5, 40 mgs, 3 times a day, at the end + the H. Probably doin quite a bit more than you, huh? You'll be fine..keep postin!.....afriend///////