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Day 8.....struggling........talk to me!!
Hi all, I'm nearing the end of day 8 and having some serious mental issues right now! I know they're temporary but need to talk. This site is all I have for advice and just talking about this demon! My mind really wants me to use today for some reason! Yesterday was awesome, now this is going on!
Good job Jaybird,
My wife & I are on day 10, and finally feeling better. Were getting our strength back and are able to sleep.
My wife & I are on day 10, and finally feeling better. Were getting our strength back and are able to sleep.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Nice post Jaybird. You sound really good tonight. Keep up the positive thinking.......sara
The attitude is a powerful tool in rehabilitation! Without a solid positive attitude failure is inevitable! Internal strength starts with the attitude and the will to recover! I am 4hrs into day 10 and feel great. I hope it keeps up because this cleanliness is highly rewarding!
Jay..your attitude is perfect and you go guy..Chalk it up as a big life lesson and I'll bet this withdrawal experience made you a better husband and father because you probably now have more empathy with others and their suffering and pain.You probably are feeling things you never thought you could before.If we learn from our mistakes we have accomplished something worthwhile.
I think you're correct but I'm going to get more tonite just to be sure...lol! Everyday is better from here on out! The worst is over and I'm not going back to that lifestyle. The high isn't close to worth the pain and suffering of the detox! Plus the numbed mind and senses are ridiculous! Makes you wonder why you did that to yourself!
I think that amazing sex was also because your senses are no longer dulled by the stupid drugs.Another good reason to stay clean eh?Keep up the good work and soon it will be 2 weeks.half a month.
Hi Lucy, I'm glad you're reading my posts and getting something out of them! I read almost all the posts and have darn near earned a doctorate(lol) from everyone! The clean feeling is amazing once it has been reached but my worst part is by far the mental lulls I battle! Just when you think you're in clear wham, the little demon shows up in the brain and says " you need a pill, it's okay go get some" and then the internal arguement dtarts. I can tell I'm healing cause they keep getting shorter! All I know is I never want to use again!
Hi There!
I'm new to this site, but not new to addiction of narcotics. I am now 13 days clean and went through the terrible affects of withdrawal, now it's the mental thing. It's great to see your postings and how well you're doing - it gives me encouragement.
I have been using for way too many years and yes I so looked forward to the high and
feelings that I could take on anything. I finally realized it was ruining my life when I could not recall the events of an entire weekend and I knew I was totally fooling myself and digging myself deeper into the pit despair - great run on sentence. My brain is still not working at full strength and the last few days I feel like I'm in a fog.
I'm not here to preach but the best but hardest thing I did was come clean with my husband. He had already figured it out and didn't know how to confront me. He's been a great support and when I'm having a hard moment I tell him how I'm feeling. I asked him to hold me accountable, to encourage me but watch me closely. I was so bad I resorted to stealing narcotics from friends and my husbands parents. UGGHH. I can't believe some of the things I did just to get high.
ALL THE BEST!
I'm new to this site, but not new to addiction of narcotics. I am now 13 days clean and went through the terrible affects of withdrawal, now it's the mental thing. It's great to see your postings and how well you're doing - it gives me encouragement.
I have been using for way too many years and yes I so looked forward to the high and
feelings that I could take on anything. I finally realized it was ruining my life when I could not recall the events of an entire weekend and I knew I was totally fooling myself and digging myself deeper into the pit despair - great run on sentence. My brain is still not working at full strength and the last few days I feel like I'm in a fog.
I'm not here to preach but the best but hardest thing I did was come clean with my husband. He had already figured it out and didn't know how to confront me. He's been a great support and when I'm having a hard moment I tell him how I'm feeling. I asked him to hold me accountable, to encourage me but watch me closely. I was so bad I resorted to stealing narcotics from friends and my husbands parents. UGGHH. I can't believe some of the things I did just to get high.
ALL THE BEST!
Last nite was the first nite I didn't take anything for sleep! My wife hooked me up with some amazing sex and that was it....night night! Most nites I use melatonin, nyquil or a couple zanaflex(amuscle relaxer I take for my back) not all these together but one or the other! The zanaflex helps with the RLS and it knocks me out!
Really 11 hrs of sleep, anything particular you are doing for sleep. I am on day 12 and I cant sleep for more than 4 hrs. Any info would help. Thanks and congrats on double digits!!!
COMMUNITY LEADER
WOW!! 11 hrs......you have to feel like a brand new person!! Congrats on 10 days!! Double digits.........sara
Today has been awesome! I slept 11hrs last nite and now I'm 6hrs from starting day 10! All your support got me through yesterday and I will be on and off today so keep talking!
You're doing the right thing. Posting how you are really doing. Hope you don't mind but I'm joining with my son (whos prayers got me through tough times) now and praying just for you., Little D says, "God help jaybird stop taking pills , in Jesus name amen. "
Day 8 is g8! LOL sounded like it went together (:
After physical detox i felt good for almost a week..maybe a few days,,not sure but was proud and excited about quitting..the thrill of being free probably pumped endorphins for me for a while and i exercised everyday...then this fatigue, depression, lack of motivation hit me again..all i could do was work and come home..i stopped exercising slacked off on my meetings cos i was so tired..I was posting here oneday at lunch and realized i was 2 inches away from relapse cos i gotta work. I read and read and made it..I pumped up the aminos to the recommended amounts in the thomas recipe,, tyrosine gave me nrg and 5htp helped my depression...I resumed meetings daily and the gym daily...along with working i suddenly did not have time to get depressed and staying busy increased my nrg..I remebered how i felt when i stopped/i was isolating, depressed and going broke...i knew that was not the answer but neither was wiliting away in my house either.
The brain needs time to heal..to begin replacing the endorphins u took away from it by stopping the pills. The brain sensed ur outside source and slowed down on production..and it has to catch up now...this is a fragile time cos u feel so doomy that taking pills again doesnt sound like a bad idea! but deep down u know it is a bad idea
With time u will heal..depends on ur dose DOC and length of use..but also on ur attitude and the steps u take to make this easier on urself...i did the same thing most do..i stopped and the physical runs etc were gone and i thought i was home free...then BOOM! this part hit me...and it lasted longer..way longer than the physical aspect did for me..not to scare u but my physical was fairly easy so perhaps i paid the price with the mental aspect of detox.
Support like counseling or meetings are a good way to hang tight..i could not afford counseling and meetings r free...exercise and staying busy plus reading thru the health pages to learn what i was battling so i could fight it...i googled and googled..and i made it
the theoreticl date for brain healing is 90 days//we r all different...AA has a saying 90 meetings in 90 days and this is why...my goal was to make it 90 days..and i did..and it doesnt mean u will never relapse just cos u made it to 90 days..but ur odds get a whole lot better cos statistically most will relapse in the first 90 days..again ..not trying to be negative here...cos staying positive is more than half this battle (:
After physical detox i felt good for almost a week..maybe a few days,,not sure but was proud and excited about quitting..the thrill of being free probably pumped endorphins for me for a while and i exercised everyday...then this fatigue, depression, lack of motivation hit me again..all i could do was work and come home..i stopped exercising slacked off on my meetings cos i was so tired..I was posting here oneday at lunch and realized i was 2 inches away from relapse cos i gotta work. I read and read and made it..I pumped up the aminos to the recommended amounts in the thomas recipe,, tyrosine gave me nrg and 5htp helped my depression...I resumed meetings daily and the gym daily...along with working i suddenly did not have time to get depressed and staying busy increased my nrg..I remebered how i felt when i stopped/i was isolating, depressed and going broke...i knew that was not the answer but neither was wiliting away in my house either.
The brain needs time to heal..to begin replacing the endorphins u took away from it by stopping the pills. The brain sensed ur outside source and slowed down on production..and it has to catch up now...this is a fragile time cos u feel so doomy that taking pills again doesnt sound like a bad idea! but deep down u know it is a bad idea
With time u will heal..depends on ur dose DOC and length of use..but also on ur attitude and the steps u take to make this easier on urself...i did the same thing most do..i stopped and the physical runs etc were gone and i thought i was home free...then BOOM! this part hit me...and it lasted longer..way longer than the physical aspect did for me..not to scare u but my physical was fairly easy so perhaps i paid the price with the mental aspect of detox.
Support like counseling or meetings are a good way to hang tight..i could not afford counseling and meetings r free...exercise and staying busy plus reading thru the health pages to learn what i was battling so i could fight it...i googled and googled..and i made it
the theoreticl date for brain healing is 90 days//we r all different...AA has a saying 90 meetings in 90 days and this is why...my goal was to make it 90 days..and i did..and it doesnt mean u will never relapse just cos u made it to 90 days..but ur odds get a whole lot better cos statistically most will relapse in the first 90 days..again ..not trying to be negative here...cos staying positive is more than half this battle (:
Stay Strong and keep posting, this site will get you through. I can relate to your situation, as I am a Pain Mgmt nurse, in a Pain Clinic......... Need I say more. The guilt overtook me and thats when I knew it had to Stop. Day 8 for me too, Keep posting, it will get better
COMMUNITY LEADER
I am glad to hear that. Keep us posted on how you are doing. sara
I feel 100% better tonite thanks! I started playing with my 3 kids and the brain kind of healed quick! I think that may be what caused the set back cause I didn't see them all day! They are my life!!! My wife would understand I suppose but I wouldn't want to put her in that situation with her career. It's a small town outside Pittsburgh and the word travels fast! I love all the feedback and help,I'm going to finish my pens gameand be back in a little while
Jason
Jason
COMMUNITY LEADER
How are you feeling tonight? Hopefully the cravings have gone away. Look around at all the things you have to be grateful for mainly getting your life back. Are you sure your wife wouldnt understand? I know you would really feel better if she knew. sara
I am glad that you decided to keep these drugs out of your life because they have no place in your life.You can function better without them and therefore do not need them.I am a pharmacist and quit Tylenol#3 ct after using it for 15 years for Rheumatoid arthritis pain.I realized that I was looking forward to the high more than the pain relief and decided to go ct from 8 to 10 daily.It was not as difficult as others here ,but I still got all the withdrawal symptoms,but managed to work through it all.Once I realized that I did not need them in my life...I did not need them and have no cravings whatsoever.My pain is controlled with otc pain meds.Early in withdrawal I remember being a little disappointed that I would not have the high to look forward to,but I knocked that thought out of my mind and thought about the high of being clean.I still take all the vitamins and whey powder and take my tylenols regularly.I suppose the tylenols in recommended doses take the place of the opiates,but I have no rebound pain and do not crave the codeine.Even codeine gives a high and made me feel that I could handle anything.I found that I could handle anything without the codeine.I also take ibuprofen as needed.
She definetely understands, she is a pain clinic doctor, but she doesn't know my little secret! No problem here with your post, I love to hear all sides of the demon! My wife knows more about these pills than most that's why I won't tell her! The "I told you so affect"!!!
The typed word seems so much colder than the spoken word.I did not intend to be insulting or confrontational..I am just curious if your wife understands the view of the addict and difficulties of continuing recovery.
Does your wife know about your withdrawals?If she does it will be a good life lesson for both of you.She can now see the other side and how profoundly these drugs can affect people.I personally have discovered that opiates often cause more pain than what they relieve.Since quitting opiates I have better pain control using otc pain meds like tylenol and ibuprofen in recommended doses without the rebound pain.Often if I wait long enough the natural endorphins kick in and my pain will subside on its own.This did not happen with opiates...or it could be I never gave it a chance...just popped the opiates for supposed quick pain relief.If she does not know I thoroughly understand.
first of all congrats on day 8..you are doing way better than i am...ive been taking vicoden and perks for about 4 years and im in serious trouble right now..im eating about 20 7.5/750 vicoden a day,,snorting them and eating them...i cant even find the strength to begin to quit,.. im just glad to see im not the only one who has been threw this...Not sure what im going to do..i need some advice../ help/// or the strength to quit before my liver does......But thats cool you been clean for 8 days...keep your head up.....
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