Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

drugs dureing the holidays

Well we hope you all had a wonderful Xmas. My Xmas was not so good the drugs that were available was horrendous especially for an addict like me. It was so hard trying to stay clean over this period hell on earth that is the only way to describe it. And the young ones who are trying hardcore drugs for the first time i just want to tell them do you know what you are letting yourself in for,but i don't think that you were letting themselves in for they think its a game well I'm 44 and it was the hardest game i let myself play. With all the drugs that were around i found it very hard to say no but no is what i did say but has left me with a monster craving thinking a wee bit wont do any harm who was i trying to kid myself but new better not one drag on a joint a feel good about that but craving it has left with me big time right now i want to use my doc but my mind knows were i will end up in a box 6 feet under so I'm proud of that anyone else have this problem over Xmas do the good thing spread the word to the young ones that it is no game but deadly serious James
18 Responses
199177 tn?1490498534
Well James I think its really time to find some type of support for U there .Yes alot of us have cravings. I think of them as an early warning signal that I need to call my theripist before I use .I dont want to use!!!!!! everything in my life will fall apart and soon or later I will lose everything and everyone I love if I got back down that path.You know there is nenver "just a little " for an addict we cant stop once we start very easly so we have to put EVERYTHING in place that we can to make sure we dont start back down that path  .
Avatar universal
You are right i saw my councilor last week did not talk about the abuseor heroin but just got to know each other she is realy nice and did not push me saya ia can take it at my own pace she said i had a lot to talk about and does take time but time i have plenty off thanks avisg your help and the help of others at mh have done wonders for me i just wish the cravings would stop James
1032715 tn?1315984234
Congratulations on not giving in to the cravings when there was so much around you. Denise
199177 tn?1490498534
I know james but its going to take time they will become fewer and farther between and you will learn more coping skills to deal with them .Like I said after a while you will be able to kind of use them as like a early warning system to make sure you get a bit of added help to get threw it .You can do it !!!
495284 tn?1333894042
You are going to have to really try and stay away from ANY functions that will involve drugs.  I refuse to put myself in that situation.  My sobriety is too important to me and if people cant respect that then it is their loss,not mine.  Cravings are a reality to this addiction but there are tools you will learn that will help.  Dont put so many expectations on yourself.  People who are not addicts have bad days too.  I hope you can get to a point in your life when things arent always just 100% it wont be so devastating to you.  Your therapist will help so really be open minded and really really listen to what he/she tells you.  You have so many things to be grateful James, cant wait for you to really feel that.  Hope you had a good Christmas with the love of your life beside you.......sara
Avatar universal
You are right Sara we wont put ourselves in that situation again Kim was with me with her eyes at the back of her head as well as the front lol and she would not take her eyes of me not that she does not trust me she was just watching that nobody tried to drag me back down with the devil called addiction. God help anyone who had even tried lol You know what shes like when someone winds her up or offers me anything. It was more the coke she as worried about than anything else but i resisted and didn't even want to, to tell you the truth so im quite proud of myself for that especially since i felt so unhappy and it was that that made me take the coke the last time. So Kim was proud of me too. So no more functions this year, maybe next year. I refuse to put myself in any situation that will even trigger a craving and when i start talking to my counselor properly i think that will help a lot. I hope you and yours had a wonderful Christmas too, you deserve that James
199177 tn?1490498534
Kim can only watch you so much she has her own sobriety she has to continue .It is so unhealthy for the both of you and so hard if you are hanging around with people who are using. That is one of the first things you both have to change. ASAP .I can guarantee you  would not have these MAGOR cravings if you were not around it .Not to say you would never have a craving you will, but they will be much fewer and far between What help is Kim getting ?
Avatar universal
The help is her own will power and kim is a very strong minded women and you told us the mind is a powerful tool witch kim uses to the best of her ability but the only aftercare kim gets is medhelp as she cannot tell her family as her mother has lost two husbands and is ill and kim wont worry her anymore than she has too although her mom did suspect something but kim covered it up with her illness her doctor does not even know but a suppose anything is possible she could relapse tomorrow i know that and it would depend on the situation a think it would take something major for my wife to relapse she is so strong in many different ways but i do worry about kim a lot if it vwas not for mh kim would have nothing just reading the stories is enough to put kim off for life and know she could not go through the physical side off w/ds again she also takes pain meds does not abuse but needs them for her illness but wont take the tramadol cause of the side effects and says they dont help any so why take them as i have said Kim is a very determind strong courages women and now we have a tastte of free life real life were we can taste food again smell flowers and even cut grass the list is endless and i know if Kim slips i slip too so Kim keeps it together for both of us sometimes i never ask Kim to help me she just knows when there is something wrong like the sex abuse Kim is goning to come with me to make sure i go in but will wait out side for me also as kim got the new wheelchair adapted house for her illness its been keeping her busy and keeps her mind off it too iv told kim to tell her mom and doctor but she refuses and cant budge her on that like i say kim says mh is her aftecare and were her true friends are that she can open up to without being judged as here we are treated as scum that was the first time we had been near anyone with drugs we would never have went if we had knew but its a bad job when you cant go to a party were drugs are so freely passed around but we have learned by this mistake and wont be doing it again so we wont be put in that position again no more drugs for us thats in the past
Avatar universal
I am so sorry.......  and I could not be any further from being "judgemental"...  my baby girl is an oxy addict.....  been in-treatment since Feb 2009,  and had gone thru treatment 4 times prior....  what a horrid addiction.   There is no way in hell she could (altho in the pink cloud and being Ms Congeniality of the treatment center, she did try a few times ) possibly beat this addiction only with MH as after care,  and try to help someone else.....regardless of how strong she felt....  realistically  It just doesn't work that way, nor is it that easy.

I hope the both of you are getting all the after-care and support you need in this fight for your life.  My best to the both of you.......
199177 tn?1490498534
Yes when I said you mind is a powerful thing I have never suggested it be used as recovery care program. Will power is great but it wont keep you clean longterm. I tried that route and I did very well for over 6 months and then relapsed and I did not have the pressure on me of having a spouse that was also addicted and struggling .There is nothing like AA or na in scotland I realize it may not be the same name but something along those lines?
199177 tn?1490498534
Here is a list of some of the aa meetings they have in your area if these are not in your area let me know I will get you the info to find something close by
Edinburgh Monday 1030 St Catherine's Convent, 4 Lauriston Gardens.  EH1
Edinburgh Monday 1300 Palmerston Place Church, 10 Palmerston Place.(downstairs)  EH12
Edinburgh Monday 1800 Christadelphian Church, 4 Gayfield Place, Leith Walk, EH7 4AB  EH7
Edinburgh Monday 1930 St Mark's Church, Oxgangs Avenue  EH13
Edinburgh Monday 2000 38 Cockburn Street.  EH1
Edinburgh Monday 2000 St Nicholas Church, Sighthill Neuk, at Bankhead Roundabout.  EH11
Edinburgh Monday 2000 Sighthill Community Centre,1A Sighthill Wynd(Mieying Po Polsky "Nie Pige"  EH11
Edinburgh Monday 2000 Palmerston Place Church, 10 Palmerston Place.(downstairs)  EH12
Edinburgh Monday 2000 Viewforth Church, Gilmore Place.  EH3
Edinburgh Tuesday 1300 St Georges West Church, corner Shandwick Place & Stafford Street(use back st entrance at 45 Queensferry St Lane.Ring bell)  EH2
Edinburgh Tuesday 1800 Palmerston Place Church, 10 Palmerston Place.(West End)  EH12
Edinburgh Tuesday 1945 Gay. Lesbian & Bi-Sexual Centre, Howe Street.  EH1
Edinburgh Tuesday 2000 38 Cockburn Street.  EH1
Edinburgh Tuesday 2000 Church of Sacred Heart, Lauriston St  EH1
Edinburgh Tuesday 2000 Bristo Memorial Church,196a Peffermill Road b EH1
Edinburgh Tuesday 2000 Palmerston Place Church, 10 Palmerston Place.(downstairs)  EH12
Edinburgh Tuesday 2000 Baptist Church Hall, 185 Portobello High Street  EH15
Edinburgh Tuesday 2000 Craigmillar Ability Network, Holyrood Business Park, 146 Duddingston Road West o EH16
Edinburgh Tuesday 2000 St Johns Church. Princess Street.(Lothian Road entrance) (Live & Let Live)  EH2
Edinburgh Tuesday 2000 Dalkeith Group, Old Peoples Welfare, St Andrew Street  EH22
Edinburgh Wednesday 1030 St Catherines Convent, Lauriston Gardens.  EH1
Edinburgh Wednesday 1230 38 Cockburn Street.  EH1
Edinburgh Wednesday 1300 Palmerston Place Church, 10 Palmerston Place.(downstairs)  EH12
Edinburgh Wednesday 1800 St John's Church, Princes Street(Lothian Rd corner-entrance off Princes St) sp EH1
Edinburgh Wednesday 1800 Chaplaincy Centre,New Royal Infirmary,51Little France Crescent(1hr meeting) o EH16
Edinburgh Wednesday 1930 St Margaret's Church,170 Easter Road  EH7
Edinburgh Wednesday 2000 38 Cockburn Street.  EH1
Edinburgh Wednesday 2000 Quiet Room,Chaplaincy Office(enter via McKinnon House), Royal Edinburgh Hospital, 151 Morningside Place  EH10
Edinburgh Wednesday 2000 Palmerston Place Church, PalmerstonPlace.  EH12
Edinburgh Wednesday 2000 St Andrews & St Georges Church, George Street.(enter by Thistle St lane South East)  EH2
Edinburgh Wednesday O930 The Old School House,140 Morningside Road,Edinburgh  EH10
Edinburgh Thursday 1230 38 Cockburn Street.  EH1
Edinburgh Thursday 1800 Christadelphian Church, 4 Gayfield Place, Leith Walk, EH7 4AB  EH7
Edinburgh Thursday 2000 38 Cockburn Street.  EH1
Edinburgh Thursday 2000 Viewforth Church, 104 Gilmore Place.  EH1
Edinburgh Thursday 2000 Corstorphine Trust, Dower House, Corstorphine High Street.  EH12
Edinburgh Thursday 2000 Palmerston Place Church, Palmerston Place.  EH12
Edinburgh Thursday 2000 Rosslynee Hospital, Rosslynlee.  EH25
Edinburgh Friday 1300 Palmerston Place Church, 10 Palmerston Place.  EH12
Edinburgh Friday 1300 St George's West Church, Shandwick Place, Ground Floor Room(As Bill Sees it)  EH2
Edinburgh Friday 2000 38 Cockburn Street.  EH1
Edinburgh Friday 2000 Palmerston Place Church, 10 Palmerston Place.(downstairs)  EH12
Edinburgh Friday 2000 Longstone/Slateford Church, Kingsknowe Road North.  EH14
Edinburgh Friday 2000 Gillis College,Strathern Road,Bruntsfield  EH9
Edinburgh Friday 2230 Cockburn Street  EH1
Edinburgh Saturday 1100 Palmerston Place Church, 10 Palmerston Place.(downstairs)  EH12
Edinburgh Saturday 1400 38 Cockburn Street.  EH1
Edinburgh Saturday 1500 38 Lochend Road South, eo EH21
Edinburgh Saturday 1800 Christadelphian Church, 4 Gayfield Place, Leith Walk, EH7 4AB o EH7
Edinburgh Saturday 2000 38 Cockburn Street. o EH1
Edinburgh Saturday 2000 St Stephens Church, Comely Bank,East Fettes Avenue/ComelyBank Road (Stockbridge Group )   EH4  
Edinburgh Saturday 2000 St Margarets Episcopal Church, 170 Easter Road, Edinburgh(just opposite Brunswick Road)  EH6
Edinburgh Sunday 1230 38 Cockburn Street.  EH1
Edinburgh Sunday 1430 St Johns Church. Princess Street.  EH1
Edinburgh Sunday 1800 4 Gayfield Place  EH7
Edinburgh Sunday 2000 St Martins Church, 230 Dalry Road.  EH1
Edinburgh Sunday 2000 38 Cockburn Street.  EH1
Edinburgh Sunday 2000 Cluny Church Centre, Cluny Drive  EH10

199177 tn?1490498534
here are some NA meetings as EDINBURGH
Monday 1:00 PM 'The Monday Club', Methodist Church, 25 Nicolson Square EH8 9BX. (closed some bank holidays)
Map | CW | Open  
Monday 8:00 PM St Catherine's Convent, 4 Laurieston Gardens EH3 9HH. (Iron gate to garden / ring bell)
Map | CW  
Monday 8:00 PM 'How It Works', St Aidan's Church Hall, Chesser Avenue EH14 1TA.
Tuesday 1:00 PM Methodist Church, 25 Nicolson Square EH8 9BX.
Map | CW  
Tuesday 7:30 PM 'NEW MEETING', The Salvation Army Hostel, 1 The Pleasance EH8 9UE.
Map | WA  
Tuesday 8:00 PM 'Where It Matters!', The Salvation Army, 36 Wardieburn Drive, Granton EH5 1BZ.
Map | Open  
Wednesday 1:00 PM 'Just For Today!', St Catherine's Convent, 4 Laurieston Gardens EH3 9HH. (Iron gate to Garden / ring bell)
Wednesday 7:00 PM 'Women's Meeting', 1st Floor, 17 Academy Street EH6 7EE.
Wednesday 8:00 PM St John's Church, West End of Princess Street EH2 4BJ. (wooden door with buzzer on princess st)
Thursday 1:00 PM 'Clean'n'Crazy in Leith Step1 Electric Share.', Leith Education Community centre., 12a Newkirkgate Leith EH6 6AD. (Above Poundstretchers at Kirkgate) - Open meeting 2nd Thursday of every month
Thursday 8:00 PM 'Tradition Five Meeting', Grayfiars Place,Grayfiars Kick&Community-, Project.Walk up Wardens Close on Grassmarket EH1 2QQ. (Walk up Wardens Close on Grassmarket)
Map | Open  
Friday 1:00 PM 'The Friday Warmer meeting!', Methodist Church, 25 Nicolson Square EH8 9BX. (closed some bank holidays)
Map | CW  
Friday 8:00 PM St Catherine's Convent, 4 Laurieston Gardens EH3 9HH. (Iron gate to garden/ring bell)
Saturday 4:00 PM St Catherine's Convent, 4 Laurieston Gardens EH3 9HH. (Iron gate to garden/ring bell)
Saturday 6:00 PM 'The Hour of Power', Grayfiars Place, Grayfiars Kick & Community Project. EH1 2QQ. (Walk up Wardens Close on Grassmarket)
Sunday 7:00 PM 'Just For Today', Pilmeny Youth Centre, Buchanan Street, Leith EH6 8RF.
Avatar universal
I want to thank you all for your comments and especially the help from Avis for taking the time to look up these places as i never thought to look up charities as none of them are government funded which is not right as there is a lot of heroin addicts in Scotland. I think at one time per head of population Edinburgh had more heroin addicts than anywhere in the world. Sadly most of the are now lost to HIV. Also late august in no way do i find you judgemental at all. and you are most likely right. No one can do it on their own and i have a lot of other worries on top of my addiction, as Avis said i also have a husband struggling with addiction. We will always be addicts but keeping our clean time is most important to us all. I will get in touch with these places asap to see if they do na ( i pray they do). But i will let you know how i get on as James has his counselor too. Thank you to you all and Avis you are a Gem. Thank you all again for your concern Kim
495284 tn?1333894042
I love the addresses on some of those!!  We have streets and avenues here!!
Avatar universal
All the streets in edinburgh espeally in town there all named after famous peps or places even were i stay it ...../avenue the name of the place is the bit were me and Kim stay but i trust you not a good idea to let every one know your adress but on the outscirts of edinburgh thats were most of our avenues are i cant think of one street lol hope you had a wonderful x mas Sara you also desserve it big time and we cant thank avis enough  for looking up those adress for us there is even one a 5 mjnute bus ride so really happy about that plus iv got my councilor once a week aswell so could youu beleive that Sara one 5 away from my house i could walk it in 15 minutes so if no av no exscuses Kim make me walk lol but i would not mind it all helps to understand our addiction take care Sara  big hug for you for xmas and new year James
541953 tn?1262586226
I am very proud of you and Kim for not using. there will be temptations and cravings that is why you need aftercare. you have taken the step to get a theripist so now use her to all of her abilities. take care Jim and have a happy new year with out drugs. love you my friend

495284 tn?1333894042
I didnt see a dominosarah street?!!  LOL
Avatar universal
Yeah James meetings !! I'm so glad you are going to check them out,, You made it through the party my Brother I'm Proud of you.. now no New Year Parties !! lol You are doing very well James in getting the support on board. this is going to help you so much in getting what is rightfully yours..  Your Life.. Kim thank goodness for your Kean eye and that James knows the consequences of making you angry.. :)) love you both.. letakos
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