finally getting my life back

[MissyJoelle]

I haven't really posted in a while and thought I would let you all know how I am.

I am doing great still on suboxone and doing IOP but I am cutting back on the suboxone. Today I only took 12mg instead of 16.

I have been on pain meds since we bought our house a few years ago. I never really did much in the yard because I was doped up all the time and didn't care about much else but pills.

Well since recovery I have come out of my shell. I learned that I enjoy gardening. I spent the entire weekend planting and being out side and it feels wonderful.  

My hubby pretty much did all the yard work and he is adjusting to me having idea's and knowing how to plant a flower garden. At first he was critical. He got upset when I dug up a small section of grass and planted flowers instead. But today when he saw everything I did he was very impressed. He said the yard looks very nice and it does. It is so rewarding knowing I did all of this and now I can't wait for all our pretty flowers to bloom.

Their bloom will be a constant reminder of what I can do when I am thinking clearly and feel human. I am so excited about next weekend so I can tend to my roses and finish up the front yard.

I have given our house some curb appeal and added to the value of our home. Drugs took that ambition away from me. So this summer I can enjoy what I have done and know what lies ahead if I use drugs again.

[mom2rachie]

I can relate to so much of what you wrote.  When I first started taking the pills, although I was taking them for legit pain, it didn't take me long to start abusing them, I had tons of energy.  I took pills to do bills, to do laundry, to make dinner, to watch a ovie, to ride in the car, to do everything.  Thenm something happened and I just took pills.  Everything became a chore and I put everything on the "to do tomorrow" list, but that list was always pushed back to another tomorrow.  Bills, didn't get paid, laundry didn't get done..... nothing was accomplished.  I had no more emotions excpet anger when I ran out and then panic.
Now, it's different.  I can read a book, watch a movie, write in my journal and for that I'm grateful.

You sond wonderful.  Every time those flowers bloom it will remind you that your life is blooming.

I always said that I know I have another relapse in me.  That I don't doubt... but I'm not sure if I have another recovery......

God bless!    

[justlikeyou]

yup, 11 years sobre i picked up pills for legit pain, now im about 10 days completely clean again after 4 years of pills. i havent slept a wink in 10 days i feel terrible physically but wonderful spiritually because i can see the end of this withdrawl and i want whats at the end.

my life back.