first day of withdraw

[dwb2k]

well..i haven't posted in a while ..for those of you who dont no im addicted to pain killers..im eating around 30 oxycodone pills a day....my addiction has taken over my llife and every thing in it and im about to the end of my rope....i have tried many things to stop....i told my doctor about my problem and he was shocked..It was very hard for me to got in there and tell him that....He basically didn't no what to do...He said i need to go to rehab..And if it was that easy i would....today i have only ate 3 pills and im really sick...If i try to wean down i get like this fast...My body feels like its shutting down...I dont feel like me any more....I need to put a end to this one way of the other...I would like to get suboxon but i would have to go to rehab around here to get it..The doctors will not give it to you.....I guess i just feel like im in a losing battle...I no my body wont handle that amount of pills for much longer...i need to find a solution,,,I cant go to rehab i will lose my job.......sometimes just someone to talk to helps.my day is only going to get worse from here...feel free to message me with advice..or any thing....thank you

[Lindsay_T]

Kolt: Coolness. I remember feeling really really cruddy for days on end. No motivation and like you described it, I felt "shut down."  I don't understand why I tried so hard to fight the sickness and apathy from withdrawal. I guess I didn't think it would EVER end, so I reasoned that I may as well forget about trying to detox. I could either finish detoxing or die.  (big fat lie) I had many other good excuses not to stick with it. But I did. And it does get better and you really really deserve a better life.

[GACarol]

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this but you are not alone, not here. I just started coming here and am getting ready to go through what you are now. I have felt so much support from all the people here. Keep posting and reading. There is some great stuff on the link above that says Health Pages. Very motivational and informative. Hang in there, there is life on the other side of this. WE can do this and WE are here with you!

Carol

[dwb2k]

i couldn't of smiled any bigger when i read your comment...It blows me away other ppl care that much..And your absolutely right..i need a plan...But i have been here and done this several times.(trying to quit)..i always go back to were i was cause i get so sick i cant work....or really do anything but lay in the bed...Its hard when i cant miss work and i really do need pain medication for my back..Ive had 2 surgeries already and im losing hope on getting it fixed....But for now i have to get this pill habit under control....ive had 3 and a half pills today...usually i would be up around 21 to 25 at this time...Its hard to explain how i feel...I explain it like my body is in shut down mode...I feel sick and super sore...Like my muscles and bones are sore...This *****.....Im not sure what my plan is...im just going to try to wean down but with the amount of pills i have i have to wean pretty fast witch results in me being very sick..And going to work like that...sorry for blabbering at you..I dont usually have any one to talk to about this..I have to kick this addiction and you put a great big smile on my face..And i was in a bummy mood..thank you..(hugs back) kolt........  

[dwb2k]

i only have about 12 pills right now..i could get more but if i do i always go right back to how i was....i figured if i dont have them i cant eat them...im really feeling the effects right now....i feel like im in full shut down mode.......

[Lindsay_T]

dwb2k,
I know it is hard to have hope when you are so far in the depths of addiction. There really is only one way to attack this problem and that is one little (painful, yes) step at a time. Today your little step is to give your self BIG props for coming clean to your doctor. Wow. Good job. Now you need a plan. One that works for you. If it is tapering or not, you need to figure it out. Come up with some options, post them here and ask for comments. We all can help you with what small step to take next....
You are not alone. You are worth doing this. Seriously, man.
hugs, Lindsay

[Tessmom47]

You went from 30 to 3. That sounds too rapid. Do you have more pills so you can wean yourself off slower?