hi all

[Jonnyboy84]

Hi All

I am now thinking, "why should give up tram?" I had a masive fight tonight with some people who are (or I thought were) my closest friends. It turns out that they were only hanging around me for my money. I dont want to go in to it but I won a lot on the lotto about 2 years ago (to get it out of the way i won A LOT) and now feel like I have nothing. I got really high on tram when I got home I took 800mg. I now dont have a reason to stop. I was wanting to stop so they wouldnt have to put up with it. Because I give a lot to charity I am always in the lokal paper. This week there was some thing on my and my "Drug addiction problem!".

I am going to have to move now as well, because when ever I give some money away it will always come back up. I dont want to be known just for drugs. I have given over £10,000,000 away and thats all they think about. there wasnt a good word about me in the artical.

I really dont know what to do!
I have no one!

[ali3674]

How many winnings or settlements have you had in your life?  The story sounds a bit bizarre, if you gave all that money to charity, why would these people not say one nice things about you?  The fact that u gave over 10,000,000, should say something.....
Just sounds wierd, but hey, I guess moving and starting over would be a great idea.

[johnnycat25]

hey man get help the trams are dangerous!!! a good friend of mine just had siesure from them......they mess with your brain dude... i know a little about what your going through with the friends, i started my own business last year and more then tripled my income ( no where near you) but my drug intake went through the roof and people/ family came out of the woodwork, now that the economy ***** work has slowed revenue down by half and none of those people are anywhere to be found, not even my mom.........i was paying just about all her bills and rent for 6 months and when i stoped she stoped calling...get rid of the bums its for the best. and definatly get clean....good luck

[TysonRed]

My drug problems also got worse when I got a payment from a settlement I had when I was young. No where near the change your talkin about but my settlement is drawn out over the years until im 35. This last check I got when I turned 25 1 1/2 years ago, was when things got way out of control as far as drugs go. Not to say I didnt have my problems already but having the money made it so much easier to get drugs, to find more people willing to sell them to you cause they wanted to hang out and freeload. I still have friends that owe me thousands of dollars that I'll probably never see a penny of. I know it really hurt when I finally had to realize that my life was not only consumed with drugs but with people who used me for my money. I also developed a very bad gambling problem which didnt help my own financial matters, but I always gave my friends plenty of money and things seemed well, but when the money ran out, my one friend in particular moved across country never to heard from again. In short I look back at it and see the money as a horrible thing to come along at the time it did. It was like having a bomb without a fuse, and the money was the fuse and KABOOM, my life was in shambles not 6months later, and $50,000 down the hole with nothing at all to show for it. I dont blame the money but I know it made my drug problem ten times worse, it eventually caused me to go into a deeper depression, and the constant worrying ive always done just intensified when I had to admit to family and friends that I'd blown another check, I was very ashamed and still am. Johnny I know my post probably didnt help anything but you no you can quit, but you also know you have to want it. Its so very hard to do quit, if its for anyone else other than yourself. With your resources their are so many options open to you, you just need to take advantage. I dont know how it is for you, and I cant relate to the amount of money your talking about, but it boils down to same thing, that when your an addict having a bunch of money at your disposal makes staying clean extremely difficult, its just too easy. I know how it feels to used and I believe that also leads to more drug usage, but you need to face these problems and make the best of what you've been given. Im sure you dont want to go on with the constant ups and downs that drugs entail, you know theres a better life for you on the other side. Just keep your head up, you sound like youve done alot for others and one thing I believe in is Karma, and you should have alot of it coming your way. You have to want it, to acheive it...I know you can...so do it for you!

[fedup4now]

There is something to be said about money being the root of all evil.
It may be a bit like drinking or drugging buddies - when you try and get clean - they are no where to be found, and have nothing good to say about you.  Unfortunately when you have that type of money - many people are not sincere, and often it is the money they are after, and you get lost as a person.
Try and figure out who you are as a person, what your values, morals, passions are.  Work on you, find a good counsellor, build up your self esteem, and realize the person you are with or without your money.

You are not the sum total of your drug use, and your money - you are so much more. It will be a long road, but it sounds as though you are a good guy, and the battle will be worth it.  Just focus on you, getting healthy.  As this happens your self respect will increase, as will the respect of others for you.
I think you are always going to have to deal with the public eye, and this means judged harshly - cause we humans have a hard time looking at the good.  But once you have peace within - it won't bother you as much, you will have close, honest reliable friends to turn to - that care about you.
A lot of really good people get caught up in the cycle of addiction - and there is no shame in that.  But to hold your head up high - you are going to have some tough choices ahead of you.  I know, I will never feel good about myself while I use - that everything I do is overshadowed by this.
Take some of that money and save yourself - treatment, counselling whatever.  The clean you will have so much more to offer.

Hang in there, true friends will revel themselves, as will the true you if you give it a chance!

[NautyOne]

Hmmm.  I wonder how many pm's he will be getting from the ladies now. interesting?

[mimi1313]

Jonny,

Hey hun, I know you can quit. I have complete faith in you. You just need to have faith in yourself. You are strong enough to do this and you don't need those pills. I have to ask, are you happy with the person you are right now? It seems like you're not.

You are so young, and have a lifetime ahead of you. Ask yourself what you really want in life. Do you want to be alone with the pills and money and feel numb or do you want a life where you care for people and they care for you? You already have people who care for you on this forum.

I want you to be happy and that's not going to happen until you stop the trams. You know I'm here to help you anyway I can.

Hugs,
Melissa

[Jonnyboy84]

thanks avisg but I dont know if I can. Thats the thing!

[avisg]

johnny,
you know all of the reason you need to quit .you are upset right now take a little time cool down and think about it .Then dust yourself off and get right on track.You can do this .

[Jonnyboy84]

they have all seen me take them and they make feel a bit high. I dont drive much because I am always on them. Pluss they know I dont get them from a doc. so they are all wanting to know where I get them from.

I dont know how they solve problems but when I am down I cant help but take a really high amount. they make me feel better some how.

and yes I do need a wife!!!

[enemy48]

U need a wife?  

No, sorry.  Congrats on your winnings?  

So tell me how trams solve problems?  What is it that they're having to put up with?

I don't understand.