I have followed you over the last 2 years, I think gnarly hit it the nail on the head, AFTERCARE. I know I would be dead without it, it was just a matter of time for me. You are finally moving to S Florida, so that is something to look forward to, but you don't want to take this active addiction with you. Just ride it out and find some local meetings to hit in the mean time. You can hook up with new aftercare, once you move. So, there is nothing to fear, you won't be seeing the people in the meeting much longer, so who cares if you spill your guts and everyone knows. I highly encourage you to go today, this is no joke. Man, when my lungs stopped and my wife was fed up with giving me CPR, it scared the heaven out of me. I was on the floor gasping and looking on those who loved me, then I couldn't even gasp anymore. Don't wait as long as I did to get help man, seriously, learn from my stubbornness and mistakes. There are 3 destinations for an active addict: jails, institutions, or death. That is no exaggeration, it's not an if, but a when. It's not fare to you, it's not fair to bring anyone into that life, just find a meeting today and go brother. My first meetings were hard. I said I was going to take time off during my intense sickness, I was sitting there sweating and shaking, with my head on the table. They said, "No way man, we'll bring a bucket to puke, but you keep coming back." NA is not a group of fair weather friends, so it may surprise you at what you find there. Keep us posted.
Hey dude good to see you post although I wish it was under better circumstances well you know how the drill goes you just have to ride it out....the thing here that your missing and is what drives you back to use is Aftercare with out that I would be using...for me N/A is a great program and if your honest with yourself you never have to pick up again this is a critical part of recovery strong will is not going to work
the meeting are only a hour long and it is a cheep price to pay to stay clean time to do something different your best thinking got you here we will help you threw the detox but google N/A meeting in your area you wont regret it................Gnarly.....................