i just spilled in my journal

[MeShellneedshelp]

How do i deal with all of this? i feel like i'm drowning i am totally and mentally kicking my own a**
Do i want to kill myself--NO! would never! but i need help, love, support and today is such a bad day really tomorrow NEEDS TO BE BETTER, i feel so damn foolish begging for all of this to strangers that most likely don't even care.

[house1]

Hello and welcome,
Don't beat yourself up addiction sucks!
At first its innocent, its fun or it could be for severe pain.
I loved opiates the stronger the better I thought I could do anything and if you think about it that is a little scary.
It is amazing how something could feel that good but have such a terrible bad side like addiction.
Do what you have to do and get clean and try to figure out how not to relapse and use it again.
We have all been there and it does not matter what your drug of choice is nothing is worth W/Ds.

[IBKleen]

Obviously you are having a hard time with the taper. Time to get someone to help you hun....

[Greatgreebo]

'Everybody' who tells you it isn't addicting is an idiot. You can tell them I said that. An addiction is an addiction-it doesn't matter what drug it is, it's gonna be hard to get off of (otherwise it wouldn't be an addiction now, would it!). They are all hard to beat. Just take it one day at a time. You are loved and cared for here. We are all in this together. Keep posting and know that we have your back.
Don't listen to the nay sayers and the people who say you can't have a problem with tramadol. They are just distracting you. Ignore them.
You are going to beat this and be fine. It's normal to feel 'down' about the whole thing. Just ride it out and look forward to being drug free.
Hang in there,
Greatgreebo

[MeShellneedshelp]

I kicked oc's cold i kicked methadone cold i've kick many many many drugs cold but i'm so angry and boggled why this seems the hardest for me and it's only tramadol makes no sense everyone keeps telling me its not addicting

[IBKleen]

Shell..what's up? what is bothering you?

[OXYFIEND]

You are wrong. WE ALL REALLY DO CARE. Because we are all battling the same demons. You have to push yourself. Get off the sh*t now! I know how hard it is believe me. But when you're finally off of it you will see how much more clearly you are able to think. There is hope for you and for everyone else. Life will get so much better. Day by day. Babysteps. Just for today. You didn't become an addict in one day so it's going to take some time, but just know that you are not alone. Build yourself back up. You know you were a better person before all of this. You had a better life. Go get it back. Don't let this evil sh*t control your life. You are better than that.

[worried878]

Do not feel bad...i just did the same thing...we have something in common so we do know each other!  I am trying to quit...and I will...Do you have a NA group in your area...I went...I was afraid I would know someone...did not and now I just dont care if i know someone...i need help!  You get numbers from people and you can call for help...like you could call right now