i need help

[slk714]

i know i havent spoken too many people today, but i am really strugglung and need help. i am w/ding really bad and cravings are setting in. i feel like a failure. i watch my neighbor unload her car (she is expecting) and i feel so not normal, like a monster, i have to take pills to survive. why cant i be normal, why cant i be a good mother, and is there any hope. alot of you know of my stresses in the home with my sson, and it has hit an all time high, today might be the day criminal charges are filed. sounds like a solution, but with that comes a lot of grief from the extended family, i just dont need the added stress. i live like a prisoner in my own home, and cant take it anymore. this is why i wanted inpatient so bad last week, now i see it is not optional. i am waiting to see me new OB on the 29th, he has experience with addiction, and he can help me get in. but til then, i am trying so hard to cope, and am being brutal to myself in the meantime. i am looking for support and guidance, please, i feel so bad about myself, i just cant say anymore.

[troubleinohio]

I will be praying for you hon. Is there anyone from this forum you can call or anything to let us know how you are if you ar in the hospital? I will be worrying if we dont hear from you!

[slk714]

thanks for the info, i pulled it up and i think it might be time to go back to the ER, will keep you posted. thank you

[troubleinohio]

http://www.preeclampsia.org/

[slk714]

im 17 weeks, what is pre-eclampsia??

[troubleinohio]

how many weeks are you now? i forget?  If the BP doesnt go down, you will have to go to ER and get on something (is it magnesium sulfate?? something like that) You are in danger of pre-eclampsia.  Have you had it before in other pregnancies? Now im worried about you, I ddint know you were having high BP issues when i first responded

[slk714]

no, no supervision, i got my advice from here, they told me not to go without. but i dont know what to watch for at all! PLEASE TELL ME, so i have tapered 1.5 pills for 2 days, now i am down to 2 pills tomorrow, then 1 pill sunday, and 1 monday??? i am tapering way too fast , i know, this was  not my plan at all. i am very concerned as well. so yes, i am still on meds, but a lower dose than ever in 2 years in 2 days, i have been told with my history of pregnancy how dangerous this is, i dont know what to do. if i go to ER, well, you know what happened before, will they help me?? and what do you think about BP, i know its high, am i in danger. i have my dads Dr  i called, but he knows nothing about prenatal and i get the drift he doesnt want the responsibility. dont know what to do, just riding it out