i'm here AGAIN, hope i can get thru this with some help, i cant stop opiates..

[jt808]

okay well im not even sure if there are any of the people that i use to kno on here any more, i first came to this site approx 4/5 years ago (mayb longer) and ive been thru hell and back like so many others on here have. i first started out with a norco problem which ended with me takn about 60norco 10/325 a day and ended up losing my fieancee and my house and so many other things and thats just the beggening of my story, than i got clean after that for alil bit but oh we all kno that didnt last long mayb a couple weeks or a month. than i was introduced to oxy and waaayyyyy down hill from that i was snorting smoking oxy/roxy all day n all nite i eventually got arrested n was forced into rehab from my job and i told em i was there for alchol until i eventually broke down and just told the truth so i went thru rehab an did pretty good and stayed clean for while few mothns and recently i went bak by just havn a few norcos just cuz i was just needing to get high and those couple of norcos lead me to where im at now which is cutting pills up and snorting the roxies  im bak to being broke and my new girlfriend will eventually find out on the way tht ive been going and im just sooo sick and tired of this round n round cycle ive been on for over 12 years now its sooo ridiclious and everytime i actually start doing good i blow it n totally *** up.....and of course everyone close to me tinks im doing soooo goood and thnk i have like a year n an half clean, which couldnt be further from the truth and im just so sick of this....sorry for venting, and i REALLY REALLY REALLY hope there are a few people that rember me cuz im missing ALOT from my story tht i just cant even rember and want to write it all so it would be good to hear from some old friends from on here and some new friends as well...thanks for takn the time to read this lil summary of the nonsense ive been doing lately....

[10356]

my therapy for when I crave our just feel down.. I will check back tonight..

[10356]

Good morning JT.. I thought of you as soon as I opened my eyes. You know the drugs will turn on you. it sounds as if they are starting too. are you getting the sub off the street ? do you have insurance with your work ? the reason I ask is that a addiction specialist might be a good fit for you. although you do not like the meetings try to go ok the more you can wake up to the reality of your situation the faster you will begin to see the light on how to proceed. are you planing on tapering off the sub ? I'm so glad you checked in with us !! does your girl know you are a addict ? I ask becuase being honest with those we love and respect helps us to be accountable. I know in your last relationship when you told her she left you, that was under different circumstance with a lot of lies already in place.. Hopefully you can turn to her for some support.. A outpatient facility would be Great if you can do it !! It is good to hear from you as Brian said I have thought of you over the years.. I'm doing well I would not say Great but well is good enough for me right now I'm hoping to get the hell out of town today and take my camera out for some sight seeing. my theraly:)) sending hugs

[GA_need_help]

HI, I have just been coming around here for a couple of months.  My situation is that I am tapering off Opana.   I have come a long way, but I still have a long way to go!  I want to encourage you that we can do this together.  No matter where we are in this process there is a lot of hope for good recovery here.  Keep posting.  So glad to meet you.
Marie

[minn66]

Hi jt, I am still fairly new but wanted to say hi and that I am glad you decided to come back and offer you encouragement. :)

[jt808]

man its been so long since ive talked to u both, and as mesed up a situation im bak in again its good to hear you, i kno wat i need to do and no i didnt stick to aftercare that good i went to few meetings here n there but gave up an slowly stopped altogether i thought i would jst get thru it on my own but i didnt, well i cannot got rehab again or i will loose my job so i kno many will say my jobs not important but its my livelihood an since i was already there once im looking at alteratives like another outpatient thing as many times a wek as i can do plus get bak to steady meetings even tho i HATE em, im getn bak on suboxone for hopefully alil longer but i do not wana have to count on that anymore either....so i hope to hear from u when i wake up in the late afternoon....thank you both sooooo much for replying even tho its late. i did need alil help tonite cuz im just siting here the past few days an have really been feeling worse n worse about myself while i sit here n get higher n higher so thank you very much for responding...u guys n gals r the best sorry it couldnt be under diferent circumstances like Lesa said....and i truly hope u both are doing great as well talk you soon....

[10356]

Hi JT.. Welcome back. wish it was under different circumstances but it is what it is. I remember your story very well, What is happening now is eerily similar to the last time. so do not make the same mistakes ok.. You picked up tools to fight your addiction in rehab and you know how important some kind of aftercare is. I know how hard it is for you to get thru detox But you Have too.. Do not throw all you have built back up for a freaking drugs ok.. I remember the pain of your breakup of you loosing friends of them looking at you different The shame you felt with your family.. Get yourself to some meetings Get rid of your friends that use.. You know the drill jt. You are here looking for a way well this is one way. another would be loosing everything jail institutions our death. I sure hope you choose life for I have always found you to be a pretty nice guy under all the pain drugs bring on. when you checked in clean You sounded so Good One could tell even thru the cp..  Fight to get that guy back.. I will check back tommrow it is late so off to bed with me.. lesa

[bmdad]

Hey JT.....I just woke up to use the restroom so don't have a lot of time but will type more tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know that I remember you well. I actually just thought about you a month or so ago and wondered how you have been doing.

You've been through this numerous times so you know what to expect. If you can, get back into rehab but this time enter a sober living facility afterwards Do you continue with aftercare once you got out of rehab? You have to figure out what you need to do different this tie around. All it takes is one pill to land us right back where we started. You have to make this the last time and guard your sobriety with your life. That means aftercare. As you found out, the withdrawals are the easy part. The real work comes down the road.

This is a fight for you life JT. Hang in there and never give up!




Brian