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Avatar universal

im ready

ok, today is day one, i know im going to pay the price for my heavy use in the last 2 months, i have gone through 2 withdraws that have put me in the hospital (im diabetic and my sugar soars to about 500 due to feeling so bad i cant take my meds and keep them down)  i have to take my shots no matter what this time.... im so ready... my dr. released me to reg duties on friday. im going to be like that book THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT CAN... i know i can, i know i can..lol.. i have all the thomas stuff, and frig is stocked for the family.. they have no idea im about to get sick.. im scarred to death.. but knowing i can crawl up to the comp chair and not be alone gives me peace.. i didnt know about this site last time... i started going to church with my daugher in dec. so i have faith with god and im not saying PLEASE GOD HELP ME as im hanging my head in the tolit, and him not knowing who i am.. i know god now and believe in the faith.. thanks to all, for helping me make this decision and giving me hope about a better life after pills.. diane
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Avatar universal
last 2 months i was taking 10-13(highest) a day of lortab 10/500 a day.. may sound silly but last dose was 11pm last night. in the last week i've gone down to around 7 a day.. i wanted today 2/5/2008 to be my day , so i took them at the last possiable time.. to make that date.. my mind works in strange ways of thinking when i im using.. i cant keep anything down when im withdrawing the throwing up is the worst for me.. hubby just pulled up.. i;ll post more later... god bless, diane
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
the one thing i wished i knew (but didn't find out until after i went to a recovery home) was that anything you take to ease the withdrawal, will ultimately only make the kicking process take longer.  my opiate addiction escelated to the point where no amount of pills were going to work, and that led to the mother from which all these evil pills came from...heroin.  Trust me, it's not as hard as you think to switch from pain prescription to hard drugs.  if you had asked me if i'd ever touch heroin before my addiction, i would have made some ignorant comment about how I'm no junkie homeless person...but here i was, a middle class person from a loving family and a good support system, about to enter the world of heroin addiction because my pain medication dependency grew out of control.  anyways, my point is, while trying to kick my addictions, countless times over those years, I tried weaning, replacing, taking more pills, smoking, drinking, anything to get the "edge" off.  and the only thing that worked was cold turkey.  yes, it hurt more, but it ended faster.  when i was weaning, it would just draw out the process, and by the time you stop using the replacement...you're right back at square one.  For me, no amount of weaning or supplimenting mattered.  the moment i stopped weaning or supplimenting, that next day was like as if i was right back at square one and the pain was just as bad.  I'd get depressed because i'd realized, if i had just gone cold turkey instead of two weeks of weaning, i'd be clean by the end, and not facing day one of withdrawals again.  you're brave to be doing this, but i also agree with the rest of them here that you should have your doctor's input on this.  i'm not diabetic so I don't know what effects withdrawal will have on your blood sugar levels.  The only thing I can say for certain, is this:  you got the right attitude to succeed.  just lock yourself in, prepare the ship for a rough ride, and keep your fridge stocked with comfort food.  i know, you'll have no appetite during withdrawals, but even during my heroin withdrawal, I wouldn't eat anything unless they were plums.  I ate SACKS of them and that actually kept me going, in some odd way.  It was the only thing i could keep down because of my love for them.

last thing:  my serenity prayer.  well, the serenity prayer that all addicts are taught in rehab and repeated before and after every alcoholics anonymous meeting:

God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
courage to change the things we can,
and wisdom to know the difference.

you can do it.
Helpful - 0
402205 tn?1230481005
I had skelaxin as well and tried it but it made me a little nauseous. It did help with the aches.

Good luck. I know you can do this!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
if you don't mind me asking, what was your dosage at??

hot tub will be great...i don't anything about slextin...someone will

when was your last one???
so so proud of you!!!
r2r
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
you all are already helping.. encurchament.....(my spelling sucks lol)  its like i have a team behimd me, counting on me (but not stressfull)  maybe more like a chearleading team!!!! i know the bath thing.. (made hubby buy me a hot tub last year)))) i live in it... god does it help.. has anyone heard of slextin (muscle relaxer) i have a whole prescription of it and was wondering if it might help with the body aches.. thanks , diane
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
U have taken the first big step....and telling your Doc no was hugh!!!  
I so agree with girlybuff,  the pain is a reminder of why we don't want to
EVER do this again...And that we are still alive, and if we continue we will die....

U sound like u have a plan and that is important...i did the same, make sure all bills are paid, and all laudry is done....That will help ..
since u have been through this u know, hot baths and more hot baths..
Also i know nothing about blood sugar, but please be carefull...If you don't feel right go to the ER again, Listen to your body....
we are here rooting for u
r2r
Helpful - 0
390416 tn?1275185087
You're right...YOU CAN DO THIS..and your life is about to get better..........we will be here for you ...it sounds like you are detemined and ready to do this..
Good luck and keep posting!!!

I'll keep you in my prayers!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
congrats on the beginning of your new life.......just be careful with ur sugar levels and keep us posted hun......god knows who u r no matter where ur head is lol....mine has been uo my butt for 5yrs but he never forgot me......looked after me and was there when i almost died 5 yrs ago.....im thankful for so much....u can do this even better than that little engine he didnt have us  u do......love u and god bless u sweetie
Helpful - 0
410221 tn?1227631837
I never told my doctor either. I didn't want addiction in my personal file. I figured I got myself in that mess I could get myself out. I'm 11 months clean now!!! You can do it, it was harder than I thought or anything I see on these intervention and rehab TV shows but you can do it and will be so proud of your self. I would just be a little concerned with you being a diabetic. I'm here for you
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
im going to try my hardest to keep my sugar normal.. i havent got to the point to tell my reg dr about my habit.. he gives me my pills but doesnt know i take to many to fast.. and i love my dr.. i dont want to let him down.. but if it gets to bad i will call him... thanks for bringing that up.. i hadnt thought of it...
Helpful - 0
352798 tn?1399298154
Take care of yourself.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
yes, going c/t, i tried to taper..failed.. i did do one postive thing.. dr asked if i needed my script refilled and i said NO.. that was a huge step for me.. family is gone during the day they start comming home around 5pm, but i have neighbors number on speed dial just in case.. i know i can, i know i can... probally going to start feeling crappy tonight, and im sure im in for a long one after that... thanks all
Helpful - 0
410221 tn?1227631837
I know you can do it anyone can if I did but you are a diabetic shouldn't you be under a doctors care for this withdrawal??? Be careful
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
CHEERS!     stick with it cause we know you can do it and most of all YOU KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!    be proud of your self for even taking this step! we all know you can do it and hooooray for you for doing it!
Helpful - 0
352798 tn?1399298154
I know you can! I know you can! I know you can! I know you can!

Just watch those blood sugars. Are you quitting cold turkey? It sounds like it. Be careful and keep on posting. Is someone going to be around to watch over you?
Helpful - 0
147172 tn?1226758178
It's gonna suck, I'm sure you know that but there's one thing that helped me SOOOO many times when I needed help and that is the fact that THIS TOO SHALL PASS.  Nothing lasts forever, not usage, not our lives and definitely not w/d.
God knows who you are, trust me.  It's US who forget who HE is.  He will never leave you.
Try and embrace the pain.  I know it sounds disturbing but when I was going through w/d, I looked at it as my body's wayof cleansing itself.  The pain was a reminder that I was still alive and no matter how bad it gets, the fact that you're actually feeling and hurting means you are still alive.  As long as you are alive, there's hope.  Each day is another chance to start it over and make it better.  
He thinks you're worth it.  Who are we to argue with Him??
God bless and good luck.
Keep us updated.
Helpful - 0
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