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13391004 tn?1429735346

kicked off of 78mg MEHADONE...HELP

my husband and i were unjustly kicked out of aegis medical systems methadone clinic..weve been clean from herion and street opiates for 5 years.....in the methadone clinic for the 5 years and were both on 78ml and theyve kicked us out no detox nothing just cold turkey...todays the 1st day without taking it what can we do to make things easier??
we have two 8 and 7 yr old boys and i work a part time job. if i go to a doc u think thyll give me methadone pills to detox me off? my health is bad as it is i hve circulations issues in my right leg where it turns purple blue at times and im scared nervous dont know what to do or how to make this and easy transition.
Best Answer
Avatar universal
Hi...well the liquid intake is critical to detoxing it flushes out your system  without it your symptoms will only get worst....I recamend a case of gatoraid to start with if your not big on drinking get a shot glass and drink a shot every 10min this will keep you hydrated  I cannot over emphasize this enough the kidneys play a huge role in detoxing your blood  gatoraid is good it taste well and has the electolights in it to keep you replenished  if your tight on money walmart has a generic that is just as good a lot cheeper the key to sucsessful detoxing is not only flushing your system it is also eating corectly  NO red meat for a wile chicken is good as is fish  lean protien grilled or baked  you want to keep inflammation down that is what give you the bone aches  there is a lot more to this then meets the eye  blueberrys are great but pricy at least around here no alachol and limit even over the counter meds your trying to purge your system of everything this is the goal...now im not a marter for pain  ibuprofen is preferable to acetaminophen it is ezer on the liver  you must understand the body is under a huge stress load wile doing this even the small things you can do help  this is not one in leaps and bounds but in baby steps....walmart also has a cheep whey protein shake mix it is 16 bucks for a 2lb can just a scoop full to a glass of milk  the chocolate flavor is good and it will give you the raw protein for energy and a dose of the amino acids to heal the brain 2 a day is what I recamend keep posting  get the gatoraid first if money is tight a case for you and your hubby and a cheep timer for the 10min intervals keep posting for support.......Gnarly
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4522800 tn?1470325834
I Love it!!!!! Your second post. How true and right to the point..Work,work and more work. Lots of Behavior Changes..

However, I started my meetings while I was so sick. I needed to hear from others that everything I was experiencing, was because of detoxing the toxins out. Lots of layers come off each and everyday and they still do..Life will be LIFE!! Good or Bad we have to face it straight on.
Bless
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I also agree with the people who say "whatever work for you is the right way to get clean"...AA does work for people but I think you need to be sober for at least 30-90 days to begin to let AA work otherwise the addict in you or should I say the pessimist in you will discount AA as a group of Holurollers...or when your first getting clean its easy to have a real negative outlook on things and I would tend to find the negative aspects of things rather than give things a chance...I think its just typical human behavior to be real negative when yuor first getting clean probably because your angry with the world and you no longer have your favorite crutch to get you through.....Its a pretty tramatic thing to suddenly stop using and realize that using can no longer work for you!
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Avatar universal
Damm I know everything your talking about right down to your husbands ball hurting....when I have gone through withdraws I would have strange sensations and pain in my private area too and also the feeling of not being able to catch your breath...I was at 125 mg methadone and they put me on administrative detox in which they deduct 10 mg a day..until im at zero whic took 10 days....I didnt give myself a chance to go through withdraws because I was using heroin again.....now im back in a different clinic but this time im gonna let the methadone work and get completely off the dope(I never  really got all the way off the dope the first time i was in the clinic)Ill let myself get up to 70 ml and then taper myself down slowly.
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4522800 tn?1470325834
This journey into our recovery is not meant to be walked alone, but it is your recovery and yours alone. You have taken one of the biggest steps already and that is admitting it has control over you or whatever. Whatever path you may take, I wish you the best. Many people do what ever it takes to stay clean.
I have taken many routes from meetings to a few days with a therapist and even ended up in grieving groups because of many family deaths, as I was working on my sobriety.
The 2 BIG things that keep me clean, is that I had to have 2 stents put in my heart. I used Methadone and added other meds to it for that old crank buzz. I went to work and have paid off all my property and home. I own all my vehicles and more. What I do not have anymore is my Great Health and the Energy I used to have. This all stems from using and drinking off & on for over 40yrs.
I REALLY get scared now when I look at Addiction in a more Scientific way and what it does to all the Brain chems. All of this seems to be so true, as I had experienced it while doing drugs, and how long it took my Brain to flip back and fire up. I will have 3 yrs in Sept and I still have to work some kind of program to stay this way. Good Luck.
PS Please do not get offended at others. YOU work it your way.
Bless
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1235186 tn?1656987798
Hi kay you don't want to attend na meetings. They aren't for everyone. But you need support. Do you attend church? You could counsel with a pastor, attend bible studies, there are celebrate recovery meetings. Do you read your bible, listen to Christian music, pray?
There is freedom from the chains and bondage of addiction.
There is always hope. Keep the faith.
Debbie
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13391004 tn?1429735346
yah thats the whole reason i came to this website................
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Avatar universal
Kay,

You obviously are in a very bad situation, but not uncommon at all. The way you have been managing your life has not been working. It has not been working. Perhaps LISTENING to someone else who IS clean may be the way to go.

Good luck.
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13391004 tn?1429735346
P,s, Just because everyone else worships you on the webpage does not mean i will!!!! I am not a fake as person and keep it 100 take it as it all is!! your being honest so i am as well!! lets see if you can handle it like "everyone" else is FORCED TO!
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13391004 tn?1429735346
i have not nor am i justifying my drug use!!!!!!!!!!!! theres no damn excuse for it...seems as if you are just taking what you want from my responses and then replying to what you feel at that time is worthy of ur judgement!! I am by no means saying i have all the answers nor am i denying my ****** addiction...but because i dont believei n your n/a classes and 12 step program there's no hope ayy...well ********...every addict is different and different things work for different people!! i really dont need a 12 step or n/a book thumper!! been there done that it worked for you great wonderful!! But you are not me!! Nor have you gone through my exact situation!! these are my thoughts that i have a right to express on here and rant about!! of course your going to hear justification in the midst of my thoughts that are typed out.............HELLO its human nature to justify any and everything we feel or know is wrong that we are doing...!! But not once have i denied a damn thing and have been NOTHING but straight up and honest!! I don't need to hear how this saddens you if i am continue to do something i know disappointing my god but yet still do it...why would you thing i would give a **** about disappointing a complete stranger??????? that just continues preaching hardcore and is so much better because u "supposedly" beat addiction!!!! Your words are NOTHING but Judgemental...i didnt ask for advice on what to ******* do...i know what needs to be done i dont need advice...you tell me nothing i dont already know!! I hear nothing you type because you have a whack *** way of communicating if u think your tactics are going to help more then not you are wrong....your whole entire demeanor is offensive and wreaks of nothing BUT JUDGEMENT AND opinion pushing!! so with that said...maybe you should reevaluate your "oh so perfectness" because hunny your **** stinks just as bad as mines!! if not worse!!
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13391004 tn?1429735346
Also...my children are not in the same home as me at this time...i have taken care of this as i try to get clean!!
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13391004 tn?1429735346
I TAKE THAT END BACK...9 times out of 10 most people dont have any new information that i havent already heard or experinced or know!!! but that 1 percent is what keeps me listening!
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13391004 tn?1429735346
FIRST LET ME SAY THIS.....i am one of thee most upfront peole you will ever meet in ur life as if ur cant tell from my last 2 responses...i expect nothing less not more but truth!! being told what i wanna hear is something i do not enjoy and dipise pity being given to me or sugar coating of the truth just tell it to me straight up!!ill agree or i wont..if i dont dont force ur opinon on me!! this is how i am its all or nothing cut dry or nothing at all!! So just know that!! you wont offend nor tell me anything i dont already know!!
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Avatar universal
Hi...well the addict in your head already has your mind made up that N/A wont work  I know there are people that are court ordered to go there  and some just want there court order letter sighed ...but the vast majorty are people that want to get and stay clean  I also tryed one on one tharpy with a substance abuse conslor  and for the most part it helped  but I never lost the desire to use....I accepted the fact that I was going to be tormented the rest of my life by this...but it is not true  if your honest with yourself  get a sponcer  work the 12 steps  this progam can do for you what it has for me  and that is you will loose the very desire to use  something nothing else did for me   I really feel it would be a good option for you to try start going to the meeting  and not just one once in a wile  I still go to 4 a week and also speak at the local drug rehabs around phoenix  it is what I need to to to stay clean   it is still less work then everything I did to use  so it is a fare trade...I will be the first to tell you that staying clean takes work and there are nights that I dont want to go to my meetings but for the most part I enjoy all the new friend I have made  we look out for each other and they do care about me and I them  recovery is a ''we'' thing not a ''I thing'' and your still trying to do it alone  it rarely works....you need the support   life on lifes terms is hard sometime but it is doable with out the use of drugs  you ow it to your kids to get over this  im sorry if om not telling you what you want to here  but it is life or death and you have so much to loose  if the athoritys get wind of what is going on your going to loose your kids and trust me it is a living nightmare to get them back we see it all the time here....it is ez to keep doing what your doing  I get that addicts use  but it doesent have to be that way  in your post you have justified your use over and over again and to me that is just plain insanity....time to take your life back even if you have to go out of your comfort zone to do it...I will support your recovery and give you the shirt off my back  but I will not support slaming heroin and meth im sorry I cant do that  that doesent mean I wont help you get clean  I have a loving heart for those that are willing to try...time to wake up and do the next right thing.............................Gnarly..................................
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13391004 tn?1429735346
When i went to the methadone clinic its because i was done and sick n tired of the drug street life and even now i dont want to be on this ****...But was able to identify that i was to weak minded to get through the withdraw without relapsing!! so after being told i had to wait a week and a half to even get into the suboxene clinic and then told i would have to drive 45 minutes every day to get my suboxene pill given to me realized i couldent afford that..and wouldent beable to make that trip due to unreliable transportation..so after being turned away..and preety much told to go use for the next week and a half until they could accept me from the staff at the suboxene clinic reluctantly i then reached out to the methadone clinic clearly trying to avoid going back to the needle...they told me to be there in the morning at 5am..so to stop the hurt for the night and to make sure we were awake smoked meth to keep mind off of oxycotton withdraw...So being at the clinic for 5 years the day we walked into this damn clinic we gave up everything..not just the drug..but the need and habit of sticking a needle in ur arm everyday the street life..which consists of alot of habits in its self..never pissed dirty once..And went to counseling every week...the first 3 years i got what i was going to get out of this place after my counselor left due to the unfair treatment on patients and staff from upper management....I couldent trust anyone else..when i did try to open up about things theyd only be help over my head or my husbands!! So the last 2 years i remained clean and off the streets by myself..!! So addiction is a disease yes...But being wrongfully kicked out of the methadone clinic was something i was not ready for otherwise both my husband and i would have been in the middle of tapering..we were stable at 78mg...sick of the methadone life and dealing with all the crooked staff there yes but we KNEW we weren't ready to completely be off of it yet and fearful to taper ALL BECAUSE OF THE  PAIN WE'D FEEL..if i wasent dont with the addiction life style i wouldn't have been able to stay away while fighting the cut throat detox for 30 days...!!! I am the first to admit my addiction is alive and breathin...but my soul is not gone and my councious is very alive!!! Loosing site of the truth isent something i have ever had happened in all my years of addiction..i am able to reconize right from wrong real from fake and being a christian i believe this is my God holding onto me because i should have already been given away to the darkness that so many are consumed by in addiction. my point is everyone will disappoint you..and it suks that im one of those....but know that i am still here and am still level headed...and i have hope..I am an addict it is alive right now and full blown and i dont want it to be i want to stop i dont want to live this life any longer then i HAVE to...so in the midst of ur disappointment know that deniel is something i dont play with...and we will get help and we will beat this but this is real and what is happening right now i could have lied and said everything was oh so perfect but i will get nothing from lieing...I have been and gone through so many drug councelings and the 12 step and N/A classes and quite frankly its all a bunch of shittyness on top of shittyness....the program i believe is not ****** but to sit in a circle with a bunch of people that are being forced by the courts to go these classes that is NOTHING  but a receipt for disaster..My plan is to do a in patient 30 day detoxification..and after the 30 days before i leave the place already have drug counseling sessions set up..i benefit better from one on one sessions then group sessions. so i have a plan and am taking actions to get there like finding somewhere thetll except my medi cal insurance which is through welfare so its not easy that's for sure and then the decision on how to go about this...My husband and I are both strugelling with the same thing..so we BOTH need to do a 30 day detoxification...But with children we cant do this at the same time..so when im clean getting out hes using still and then goes in?? i mean what would you do? there so many factors in this decision! finding a counselor right now is pointless i need to detox first otherwise ill be high going to a drug councelor
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi...well all I can say is it saddens me to read a post like this.....this is what happens when all you do is drink the methadone wile on the program  if your not seeking help to fix the real problem   (you) the addict in you will always win  methadone has its place  when use in conjunction with out pacent tharapy it can be weened off of and then recovery is possible  so what do you do now?????  well time to start treating the addict alive and well in your head  the only progam that I know of that will work to do that is N/A  it is a simple 12 step program that with time you will loose the very desire to use  something I thought was impossible  this progam treats the addict  you dont even have to be clean to go   you only need the desire to stop using google N/A meeting in your area....B/4 you loose all hope or your life make this your last try to get clean  where your heading now only leads to jail institutions or death  living like you are is not living at all your a slave to the H and it will only get worst with time  please try N/A if it will work for a old dope fiend like me it will work for anyone..................Gnarly
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13391004 tn?1429735346
truth be i didnt even want to get back on here and the truth is im prolly only letting everyone know right now because im tweaked out on meth!!...
Its pathetic i went 28 days my husband and I both....didnt touch a damn opiate whoo hoo right yah nope im a wak minded individual and the whole time i was trying to get off of the methadone and kick it cold turkey i was taking adderall and vyvanse and i can honestly say it helped keep me busy so i didnt focis on the withdraw as much!! Well prescribtion pills only last so long and are much more hard to come by!! on a mission to go pick up our dealers last supposed to be 10 vyvanses he/she ended up only having 4 of them so in place my husband accepted 6 narcos....i was SO hesitate to take two of them!! but my hunny being the addict he is told me it would take the edge off...he was right doesnt mean he dont love me just means we can be each others best friends or worst enemies...in this case worst enemies....these narcos was how we were going to "properly" detox ourselves from the methadone....so 2 become 4 4 became 6 and over a 2 day period bwtween the both of us cleared out 100 Narcos these were the 10s keep in mind and our bank accoct dwindeled quite a bit to!!! well here we are a day later hurtn worse then the 28 days we kicked methadones ***!!!! OF COURSE narcos are hard to come by...guess what...Black tar heroin is much easier to come by....and being a needle user doing it any other way is a waste...so today is day 5 back on the needle...!! I can accept i am an addict and am the last person in the world to deny by wrong doing...i am not being the best person i can...and my marriage well lets just say divorce papers have already been printed and began to be filled out to be thrown away later...I believe my marriage is whats getting the brunt end of all of this!! I dont believe i will allow myself to see the black hole again!! In fact i KNOW I WONT...because i am not in denial!! using this needle feels so good!! BUT IS ********!!..I dont like doing this!! My addictive nature is well and alive i know!! But i dont enjoy it like i used to!! i just dont want to hurt!! i mean afterall everyone in this world is addicted to something!! Rather its food or cigarettes or money or working or books or the bible or tv or games we are all addicts we all fall short!! I am a christian and Ive told my god i know i am doing wrong and i dont know when ill get off and i dont know how but i ask he be here through it all and lead me the right way!! ..i will inquire about medical detox tomorrow but i dont believe it will be as simple as people make it out to be!! Do i want to continue this **** NO am i ready to be done **** YAH!! My soul is not gone!! nor has my soul every gone away during my years of addiction nor will it now!! ive been a christian since i was 4 and thats something in life ive never lost sight of!! Ive accepted jesus as my savior i am saved and i know GOD WILL NOT GIVE ME AWAY TO THE DARKNESS!! But its the guilt i feel!! the fear of my punishment!! I know i will not go on punished!! But this is something im able to accept!! i Dont know where i am going but merely expressing how i feel right now!! I know i am doing wrong!! i know everything that could go wrong!! But here i am about to take a dose of herion! with that being said..ill check back in when i able!! Sorry for the dissappointment!!
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Avatar universal
Hi  just a quick check to see how its going   please post to let all of us know................Gnarly
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Avatar universal
Hey  congrats on day 16 your doing great  this stuff is a monster to kick and every day is a victory and your one day closer to getting better...as you can see this stuff is very cyclic it comes and goes in waves your doing a lot better then I did with sleep  it was a month b/4 I got more then a catnap here and there  I thought I would go friggin Mad im bipolar and that sent me into a mania so I was just one miserable little puppy....just know it will get better you have to measure progress in baby steps   think how bad it was at day 3 or 4  your improving from there  I would highly recamend N/A meetings to both of you the support there is ausum and they will understand just what your going threw  this is a critical part of recovery so google N/A meeting in your area  keep posting for support we all want to see you make it....................Gnarly
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4810126 tn?1503942735
Hi there :)

It's good to see you checking in. Big Kudos to you for hanging in on Day 16! (Awesome!)

Reading your post is bringing that first couple of months off M'done back big as life for me. Yeah, the lethargy was killer. This will slowly resolve (promise). What Neveragain said about Magnesium is true. It should help with the charley horses but try to take it in a cal/mag/zinc supplement as you need the right ratios in your body of these minerals. Also, make sure not to overdo it because it can worsen the runs. (Keep taking that Imodium & hydrating! So important).

Is the Creative Force sending you a Karmic backlash in order to build a new you? Man, I asked myself the same question for quite some time as I went through a multitude of difficulties & changes after detox -- I can totally relate to your question. The buddhists have an expression -- that it takes a lot of mire to grow a lotus. All I can tell you was that I didn't believe @ certain points that I was strong enough to make it through, but guess what -- I was. I think you are too. I really do. Just keep your eye on the prize, stay in the moment & try not to obsess about how uncomfortable you are right now. Sometimes, when things are rough, the actual upshot of it is often a great blessing when we're doing the right thing. I've found that it often turns out to be uncannily exactly what I need in the end (since what we 'want' hasn't always been that healthy :).

The lack of sleep is hard -- the hardest, actually. But hey, if you're able to sleep between 2 & 4 hrs. after 16 days off, that's actually great news! It's a good sign. Keep knocking those days down. Believe it or not, you're doing amazingly well.
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Avatar universal
Wow.  You are amazing, both of you.  I have never taken methadone, and based on what you've written, I never will.   You're story and recovery is going to help SO many people!

But I wanted to answer your questions, if I can:  Muscle spasms are really common when detoxing off any opiod (it's where the name "kicking" came from.)  I have never heard of anyone breaking their neck...maybe one of the nurses on here will answer that one.  Are you taking Magnesium?  Because it is a natural muscle relaxer.   Heat too...heating pads, hot water bottles, electric blankets, hot baths or showers, all of these rush blood to your muscles and make it less likely for them to contract.

Hydration is incredibly important too...I can always tell when I am dehydrated because I get really bad leg cramps.  You said you like popsicles...how about making some out of Gatorade and sucking on them 24/7?

Finally. the shortness of breath.  I have had this all my life.  I feel like I can't get a deep enough breath.   When I went off oxys, it got really, really bad.   Do you smoke?  If so, try to stop...it make it worse.   It could be panic or anxiety, in fact it probably is.    Opiods supress our coughing reflex so when we clean up all kinds of strange things happen with our lungs.  I coughed for 60 days, had lung xrays (normal) it was just one of those withdrawal things.

One of my friends had a daughter who got kicked off methadone..and at a lower dose than you and your hubby.   What I saw her go thru made me angry.  This drug shouldn't even be prescribed anymore....but I digress.  Getting you feeling better is the #1 priority right now.

Just one day at a time honey.  Don't think about the future (can you get a friend or family member to help you clean the apartment for the inspection?)

Keep posting.
Hugs,
-Robin
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Avatar universal
16 days is awesome. Go back to ER if you BP stays 102 Im assuming this is the bottom number/reading
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Avatar universal
Hi good on you guys keep on keeping. Are you still taking clondine?
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13391004 tn?1429735346
Hi everyone todays day 16 so 2 days over 2 wks...im still barly sleeping and hvn back aches diariaha high blood pressure today getting to 102 this ***** ridiculous and im still lethargic!!! Doesn't seem to b letting up :( and im mabey getting 2-3 hrs sleep at night 4 if im lucky!! Still hvn headaches still emotional and on to top it off my lifes falling to pieces with 1bad thing after another id like to beleve my god is breaking me to build me back up but having gone through so much N my life already when will i catch a break???? if it werent for my kids id give up!! Anywho im needing some advice about an issue thats just arose today n my husband n I both are experiencing our muscles locking up n cramping when we stretch at all i mean even down to my cervix muscles. We lookd it up and it says that our back muscles could possibly spasm on and convulse possibly breaking the back to im preety darn worried about this. And curious if anyone else has felt this along w shortness of breath not being able to tke a deep breath at night time its almost causing panic for me like jumping up to run outside cause i feel claustrophobic almost. I mean this is weird!!! Has anyone got any advice on these matters n wht go do.
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4522800 tn?1470325834
Hi!
I too am a X-Doner. I came off of 2 other meds along with it..C/T is the only way I could do it. It was way different then the hydo & oxys. I was way up in mg and mine where prescribed for pain. I had gotten down between 30mg, but was going up again to 80 plus before I knew it was time. This was all back in 2012 and I have used off & on for over 40yrs, so it was no walk in the park. The methadone likes to hang on and this will take time to detox out. Try putting some sea-salt in Lemon water it helps to keep you hydrated. I used certain vit/min for sleep & anxiety and some for the day. Try eating very healthy as mentioned above and drink those shakes with berries. Berries are a great antioxidant.
Do not forget about the Epsom salt bath, as this too pulls out toxins and relaxes you.
The BIG thing about drugs and booze and so on is what it does to the Brain Chemistry. This is why you have some emotional ups and downs. It takes time for all those happy chems to balance back. Meanwhile as you heal it sends all kinds of crazy singles to the body. My DR told me it was SOMATIC SYNDROME. In our Addiction the Dopamine rush over to the pleasure part of the brain, the mid-brain. (survival part). So if we feed it again it remember the pleasure and off we go. It does take time for the Endorphins, Serotonin, Nor-epinephrine, Gabba and so much more to fire up the right way. It took me a few yrs to flip my brain back, but I am 59 and got clean at 56 as I used for over 40yrs off & on. Just know it WILL all balance out in time.
I wish you the best and just try to hang in and ride the storm. It will be over soon and then the hard part comes in and that is working on staying clean.
Best of Luck to you both!!
Bless

PS..Keep us updated.
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