last words

[StaggerLee]

Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah

When my cousin committed suicide and mentioned me in her note I  played this song for her at her funeral (didn't do it justice!!!) and I remember how sad I was.  WHile I sang I cried but I gave it my all and at the end I was exhausted and could barely move.  I realize now though that I was trying to hide from RAW emotions and I've been numb for a while.  I don't want to be numb and I am embracing the tears.  I don't know when I'll see Jess again but i don't want to see her anytime soon.  I don't know what I'm doing right now but it feels pretty FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[IBKleen]

WOW..I feel like a complete idiot. Sorry for that..I really did not know. I am sorry.

[marcatj]

yeah, i didn't read it that way either, bud... i think she just didn't get what you were sayin.  that's all..

soooo glad you are feelin good...

[wait2long]

oh and by the way...i am glad your feeling so good...congrats!!!

[wait2long]

hey stagger ...i think you misread what IBKleen said...she certainly isnt on any high horse...she just said she didnt understand what you were after with your post...no need to be mean over a tiny misunderstanding. she even apologized for not understanding what you were after...geez...
i wouldnt be here if not for IBKleen, she has helped numerous people with her posts...she is needed here by all.
nobody rides horses around here   LOL!

[GoingToMakeIt]

Seeing you get clean and embracing it ...is payment. I don't think IBKleen was out of line. She just didn't see your point. She's a gem here.

[StaggerLee]

THANK YOU.  You get it.  Thank you for not judging me and pulling an IBK on me.  I am so EXCITED to work at this.  You have no idea what you've done for me over the past several weeks.  Someday I will repay you.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Well said Stagger. You are coming up out of the fog and embracing life once again. This is a good thing. It is also a process that you work at.

[lostsoul2]

I don't what you're on, but best of luck kicking it.  I know what you mean by feeling emotion.  W/ding from Norcos, like I am doing, makes a person very emotional.  A Jeff Buckley fan here, eh?  Very cool.  I've been listenig to this song The Cure for Pain by John Foreman.  Very touching and it it makes my cry.  

[shelly405]

I understand completely. There is a song - The A  Train. It reminds me of my dad's death, funeral and our life together that wasn't always good. When I play that song I get so sad, and I cry. I miss him and it feels wonderful to cry. And to know that I don't have to have an answer. I can just be sad. And that makes me happy. I GET IT.
Shelly

[StaggerLee]

I'm just saying that I want to be here and that I need to accept the things that I can't control - like feelings.  I know that the path I've been on leads to nowhere but I I've grabbed onto life and I know that I'm going to get thru this.  I'm sorry for being ambiguous but I would appreciate if you could come off of your high-horse and realize that we're not all as far as you are.  We all haven't fallen off the wagon as much as you either - so cut me some slack.  I'm trying and some support would be nice.  If that is beyond you then i would rather you not reply anymore.  Good day.

[IBKleen]

It must be me tonight and perhaps I need to go to bed. I am sorry hun, but I don;t know hat you are asking? Saying?  I am so used to people coming in and asking how to detox, what to do, etc. So, when I see a post like this, I am bewildered. Forgive me, and surely someone will come along and help.