HOW LONG will I feel like I want to crawl out of my SKIN

[WAwantsherlifeback]

I have been on ANY hydros , non prescribed, that I can get my hands on for 16 months now.. 3 months ago I realized that THEY were truly all I cared about and knew I had to put an end to this INSANITY... I would take 4 tens or the equivelency of in the morning after my shower, 2 more on the drive to work and then usually 3 or 4 (dosages) of 2 to 3 during the day.. So between 180 to 250 mg daily, it was highly expensive. 2 weeks ago i started tapering off my dosage (allowance), but today is day 3 ct and it is HORRIBLE.. Its 321 am and WHERE does this restless leg thing come FROM.. The hot, cold,hot,cold is TERRIBLE and I have a bottle of xanax but i have to take 2 or 3, 1mg to even feel like sleep as i sweat through the sheets and thrash around all night... HOW LONG will this last??

[WAwantsherlifeback]

I did go start another one cuz it was a PAIN to. Scroll.. So I answered there. :):)

[vicki595]

This thread is getting long...it's difficult to scroll through for some...can you start a new one?   xo

[vicki595]

Good Morning- Don't focus on the Xanax too much...sleep is important and many doctors prescribe Xanax or something similar...this shouldn't be a punishment!   8 hours! You must feel better!!

Alteril is an OTC sleep med containing melatonin, tryptophan, and valerian root...it works quite well...

[ariley13]

Sounds like you have the right idea my friend. Give the Xanax to someone to hold so that you don't go overboard. It's ok to take them like prescribed if you need them, especially during early detox. The key is to use the least amount possible for the least amount of time. Ateril is a all natural supplement that helps with sleep. I haven't tried it, but have heard lots of great things. I actually am going to pick some up and try it. Been having really crappy sleep lately. So, how are you feeling this morning my dear?

[WAwantsherlifeback]

OH.. and what is the"Ateril" again???

[WAwantsherlifeback]

WELL, my dear family... :) I did cave and took one and a half of my xanax... My doctor always prescribed them to me for years and I would always give or sell them as they made me so groggy.. HOWEVER, leading up to KNOWING I was going to just go CT, virtually alone, I. Saved my script and bought more because everything I was reading online said it made it better.. I'm a little nervous about it now with ALLLLLL the negativity with MY SUPPORT team here.. But I did sleep 8 hours last night:):).. I kinda feel like I'm cheating.. But I think I am going to give my mom mybenzo stash and have her regulate me with them.. YOUR SISTER

[Shieldsman74]

Been reading this thread. I live in the uk and have been on every opiate available for 17 yrs for pain but abused then too. I have detoxed many many times and believe me it does get better after about a week. I lnow all about temptation due to availability. Our beloved NHS means ive gotton thousands of pounds (or.dollars) worth of pills completely free....its a blessing and a curse...stick in and it will get better.

[brokenspiritandsoul]

Honey don't fight the sleep as it only makes it worse!  Watch a movie, put headphones on and jam, read a boring book or take a hot bath!  Just go with it!  I am on day 12 and sleep is not coming for me either but I have had other personal things going on in my life right now. Remember to breathe!  As Teri says...breathe in the future and exhale the past!  You are doing great!  Keep fighting!

[ariley13]

Sleep will probably be the last thing to return to normal. Nights can be very rough. You are talking to a chronic insomniac here! I know it sounds silly and simple, but the less you fight it and the more you just go with it, the better off you will be. If you lay there trying to force yourself, you will only become more and more anxious which in turn makes you more likely to not get any sleep. Sleep will come back sooner rather than later. Can you have your 2nd mama pick you up some Ateril tomorrow? It's all natural and might be worth a try. Maybe for tonight try another really hot bath. Might relax you. I hope you can at least catch a few hours of sleep . If not, try to do something you enjoy.

[WAwantsherlifeback]

Only one hour to day 4.. BUT this night time stuff is the WORST.. I felt so STRONG today but am now WEAK.. HOT,COLD,HOT,COLD.. I've been up since 2 am and I need sleep but still trying to go benzo free but I am about to cave.. I JUST want to sleep

[WAwantsherlifeback]

My second mom is the ONLY person who knows.. My brother, his wife, my boss, employees, two other siblings ALL buy and sell through me.. So I have just told everyone, I'm done being a go through BUT no one knows or knew I was taking them myself..

[kyle505]

Is your second mommy helping you stay clean?
And remember, we're all different, but day 4 should be a turning point. It will be a slow process. You need to tell people that you are no longer using and that you'd appreciate if they respect that and back off.
K

[WAwantsherlifeback]

KYLE.. YOU are SOOOOOO RIGHT.... they are readily available from soooo many people I know that it is OVERWHELMING to say the least.. However, I have fluctuating income weekly as I am in sales and I have my second mommy that I have to give EVERY penny to along with sales receipts.. I will have NO money of my own for two months.. I've had people text and say they would front me, but I have chosen to ignore them ALL... I'm on the end of day 3 and I CAN'T WAIT for tomorrow cuz everyone is saying day 4 is usually the turning point.. I know this will be a battle but I feel pretty optimistic right now and I do have a plan to NEVER have my money.. If I had, had my money, I would have already gotten some.. BUT AMEN, I DON'T

[kyle505]

Just caught this thread. I too was taking high doses of Norco 10s (for over 2 years) when I found myself on this site. I'd had enough (long story) and went cold turkey. Reading your posts gives me chills - you're detox sounds exactly like mine (except maybe my spending the first day in a ball on the bathroom floor), and my detox was hell.
Now - here's the good news. Towards the end of day 4 things started changing. Prior to that I couldn't eat; the thought of food made me get sick. So I drank Ensure as often as I could stomach it. But, late in the afternoon of day 4 my appetite returned. I started eating everything I could; I was not concerned about the meals being healthy, I just had to nourish my system. And once that happened I quickly noticed a change in my physical condition.
Finally, as you've already discovered, the mental battle is much, much harder than the physical detox. And it never ends. The longer we are clean, the better we manage our addict's brains, but the voice in your head will never go away.
So, my biggest concern relative to your getting and staying clean is the fact that you got your meds from dealers, and they will always be there. What are your plans? You have to cut your sources...If you don't, or don't do a good enough job, then you will eventually relapse. Your head knows that you have access; it will never let you forget. It's already telling you that it's ok to take some in order to feel "normal". It's all a lie; your head is feeding you BS.
This I'm afraid will be your biggest hurdle.
K

[ROSYouralright]

I am trying to keep up with this conversation but their are so many comments now and its taking forever to scroll through from my cell phone! Lol!
(¯`’•.¸(¯`’•.¸*♫♪♫♪*¸.•’´¯)¸.•.‘´¯)
♫(¯`’•.¸(¯`’•.¸*♫♪*¸.•’´¯)¸.•’.´¯)♫
♫♪(¯`’•.¸(¯`’•.¸**¸.•’´¯)¸.•’´.¯)♫♪
please know that I am rooting for you you are in my thoughts and prayers! Each day will be a little better than the last! Your in the worst of it right now and in the next couple of days you will begin to see noticeable improvement in the way you feel!! NO TURNING BACK!
(_¸.•’´(_¸.•’´*♫♪♫♪*`’•.¸_)`’•..¸_)
♫(_¸.•’´(_¸.•’´*♫♪*`’•.¸_)`’•..¸_)♫
♫♪(_¸.•’´(_¸.•’´**`’•.¸_)`’•.¸._)♫
  

[brokenspiritandsoul]

You are doing great!  Keep hanging on for life!  Don't let a stupid pill beat you!  I found for me, it was easier when I got mad at the pills and what I had done to my life with them!  An angry woman can do just about anything!  There is hope at the end of the tunnel! Your girls are also at the end of the tunnel do keep them in sight!  Failure is not an option for me as my kids know what I was doing and know that I was quitting!  I have to show them that this can be done!  It sounds to me like you are a survivor so hold on to that!  Post when you need to and please be careful with the xanax!  That us a whole different demon!  Be proud of yourself as we are all proud of you!

[ariley13]

Keep up the fight! You are doing great. You should be hitting a turning point very soon and it will just get better and better from there.

[WAwantsherlifeback]

YESSSS.... I'm being a GOOD GIRL.. almost done with day 3.. And HONESTLY, I'm seeing HOPE at the end of this TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE. tunnel.. My second mommy came with the Epsom salt and Gatorade and I ALMOST feel renewed, however, I did take the half a Xanax.. BUT I am feeling AT LEAST this is possible.. Even being awake since 2 am.. I'm BEYOND WORDS WITH GRATITUDE FOR EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.. tomorrow will be day 4.. And I really am praying I will have the energy to go to church.. We will have to see how the night goee:):)

[ariley13]

Benzos are horrible, horrible drugs to be addicted to and the withdrawal is not only pure hell, but very dangerous. My ex husband was addicted to Xanax and it was bad, bad, bad. He went through rehab 3 times and still went right back to them. The detox just lasts so long and is so rough. My hat's off to you for getting off of them. You are a very strong person. See, you can do this with no problem right? You got this!! :)

[TreeHealing]

It took me two years and four psych wards to get of benzos.  I don't think that people know the hell.

[TreeHealing]

I am sorry, it did work.  I am getting paranoid.  I am really having a hard time too.  If there is anybody out there who would like to talk, please let me know.  Wants, I hope you are hanging in there.

[TreeHealing]

Why won't it let me tag anyone in my comments anymore.  It used to turn yellow when I put a name in.

[ROSYouralright]

You CAN talk on the phone if you want to! Don't post any of your private information on any public forum. Use your private mail for any personal correspondence.... And NO WORRIES we have all been through WD's and know how it feels to be all over the place! I was in constant tears, rage, you name it my first few days! Its perfectly normal..

[ariley13]

I think you can. I think it's really just up to you and whoever you want to talk to. Don't give you # or email out on the forum here. You also can send personal messages here if you want to have a private chat with someone. Just click on their screen name and hit the send a message link. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk or just want to chat to pass time. That goes for you too WAwantsherlifeback.