looking for some info

[lostandalone0908]

i know alot of people on here struggle with opiate addiction, as well as myself.....can i get a few people who have gone the methadone route help me.

i wanted to hear some success stories, as well as some who have had bad experiences...i would really appreciate it, i am making a decision of what route to go, and your experience will certainly be taken to heart....thank you

[lostandalone0908]

im sorry if i confused everyone, i have never been in methadone before. H i used until i couldnt find it anymore, then i started getting pain pills wherever i could. that is when my back injury occured, then i had a script....went downhill from there. by no means am i looking for approval to use methadone, this was a recommendation from my dr and my support groups. i used methadone as a teenager, but maybe once or twice. i have been doing quite a few things to manage my pain, as i know the pain meds dont work after quite some time, and in fact make it worse. but it is a factor into my drs decision, which i have yet to commit to.
what would i say to someone , whatever works for you, everyone has a story or we wouldnt be on here...it is not black or white, there are so many factors in addiction, pros and cons to every choice we make to get clean, some people go on sub, some go ct, some go through weaning....nothing has worked for me, i have lived to long chasing the dragon...so all i would say is to go to a professional and find what works for you. also, i cannot with stand the pain, i dont know where my post directed you, maybe some things i said, but i have been misunderstood. this is not about going on methadone, its about finding ways to save my life, and while i am in support groups almost daily, i need time to learn coping skills. 25 years worth of running is a long time to wake up and say, ok im done. not gonna work, i go ct almost every week cuz i have too, and i self mdeicate with other things...its a vicious cycle...i am ready to end it...i just need the proper help FOR ME personally. i appreciate your response, but please dont say i am looking for approval to get on meth, that is bothersome, all i have asked is anyone out there who could give me the pros and cons...thats all, and i received great info. thanks again,

[lostandalone0908]

thank u so much. as you know i am on the brink of making a decision , i am not convinced whether too or not to go on program. i was totally against it, but i have a few issues that have put the thought in my mind...i have dr appt on thurs an am hoping someone on here can help..i do know of numerous success stories from the program and they have long term sobriety...how does it go wrong for so many, but yet help so many??? 8i have done my research, i need more info...maybe pm me and i will tell u whats up...right now, i feel it may be the only way to survive, i want to write a post asking about success stories, i have heard the bad and ugly, but i want to know if it has worked for some, and how they did it.....please, time is running out, i need answers...thanks

[gnarly_1]

HI.....I was on methadone for chronic back pain....kinda did the same as you got stronger and stronger pills the 6hr dose would only work for an hr so I would always wind up abusing the pills.....the pain management doctor put me on 3 10mg pills a day that worked for quit a wile but I had a falling out with the doctor couldent find any doctors in our area that would prescribe it so I would up at the local methadone clinic I slowly built up a tolerances for it and over 6 yr took it up to 150mg eventually it quit working for pain thats when you find out your screwed
methadone is a monster to get off off after using pills for 10yr I detoxed my share of times but nothing was as sever and long lasting as the methadone withdrawal it took 8 1/2 agonizing mo of going in and out of withdrawals to break free from it then your sick for around 90 days b/4 you start to feel better its by far the worst thing I ever had to kick....if someone was to off it to me again I would run the other way .....think long and hard before you go under her spell she bits hard when its time to break free......Gnarly    

[petroglyph54]

Good morning, I see we're both on mountain time, I'm in Az, and seldom up at 2am. You seem to have multiple issues that need addressing? You might try dividing them to conquer each? You might be as IB said a little ocd, or maybe just late stage "dope think", they are similar. A person develops many little "quirks" after using for years, twitching, abnormal behaviour, etc, right along with always running out of pills, seeking behavoiur, counting. They all can possibly be linked to addiction,,,,and maybe not. You mentioned that your head wasn't ready to quit. That's the first thing that will need to change in order to do so. Most of us recognize where your at on the revolving door of addiction, as do you. To find someone here who would recommend methadone for what you seem to be considering it for, I think will be rare. You've quit H, you've quit methadone, you've even stopped vicodin, it seems monthly between rx's. It also seems that if you run out of meds in between rx's that you can also stand the pain. I don't know what your trying to do, other than find approval for getting back on methadone? I know your in a tough circus but you are the only one who can make these life affecting decisions. A lot of people who start at a methadone clinic end up staying there for years, and still end up having to quit alone. It sounded like you'll have to be there daily to get your dose? Is that better than the pharmacy and the dr. for a scrip or just different? Pain and addiction will be with you the rest of your life. Continuing to use narcotics for pain management will stop your body from learning how to deal with it, and your mind will trick you every day into believing that you have to have pain medication to deal with it. After 25 years of using, I think you qualify as a "professional" in this arena. What advice would you give to say some young person seeing advice in your same situation?

[lostandalone0908]

that is exactly what my mom is doing, the nerve block shots...didnt expect to get advice for my back as well as the program i am looking into, so i truly thank u for that, you really seem to care, that means so much to those of us looking and trying to find a way before the point of no return...i will keep u posted in what happens, if u dont mind i might send you a msg after my dr appt on thirs...i dont want to get involved in something to make it worse...have a great day and thabks for all of your help

[IBKleen]

The only reason I would say--myself--to surgery is that I had it and it worked great. Some twelve years later I had an accident and I re-injured that area (lumbar) and Newly injured the cervical area. Arthritis has set in at this point and the disks are deteriorating. When I last spoke with a Neurologist some two years back he told me that there was too much scar tissue to go into the original area. I opted not to go for another surgery when I knew the whole program would not be fixed.  

The injection where done quite a few years back as well. They were nerve shot blocks and were administered in an OR by an Anesthesiologist. They were a series of 3 shots done over a period of 3 weeks. I had it done 3 times (so 9 shots) pretty close together. It did help but it did not last. Pain is something that I work on everyday and am constantly looking for new alternative treatments and trying them. I will be starting Aqua Therapy again and PT on the treadmill, hopefully next week.

Again, I hope you continue to search for other ways to deal with the pain. Good luck.

[lostandalone0908]

that makes sense what you said about the OCD, i will bring that up with my dr. so, you would not do surgery, thats ashame it didnt help, but i know my mom had 5 surgeries and is still not well. i wish i could afford the acupuncture, i looked into it with a social worker and it is just not gonna happen right now $ wise, although we just moved to save half our rate and finally have some extra $, if so i would definately look into that. i cant wait to get to the pool this summer, i know how well that works. i have also been doing yoga, and some slight pilates to try to strengthen my core...took a pain management class and really learned alot, i learned how much pain can contribute to depression, and depression can contribute to more pain, it was pretty fascinating to me.what kind of injections, like a streoid???  just curious...my mom gets injections once a month but she still suffers so badly.
i agree with the brain chemistry, they have diagnosed me with major depressive disorder, PTSD, and severe anxiety, i truly believe alot of that has to do with CONSTANTLY being a slave to these pills. i am gonna keep listening to those whho know more than i, and like i said see what dr has to say...in the meantime, again, thank you so much for your time and responses, you dont know how much appreciate it. i want to be the best mother and wife i can be, the best person i can be, i want to do the right thing, so i knew this was the place to ask, well, i was afraid to because i was afraid of being criticized for even having thoughts of going on the program. i am so happy to see thats not the case, but i do want the honest truth, good or bad. i need off this merry go round, i WANT off this merry go round, THANKS AGAIN

[IBKleen]

I know OCD sounds strange to you but what you are doing could very well be repetitive behavior, especially with the counting. It is just something to ask your doctor about.

In any case, I still would not recommend Methadone for 20 pills a day. I am also a chronic pain patient and would not touch the stuff. After years of relapsing I had to get away from all mind or mood altering substances. This has all just messed with my brain chemistry too much, among other things. I found alternative pain methods and I use them. I had reconstructive surgery many years back and will not undergo that again (that is just for me), but you may want to look into it. Any type of Aqua Therapy is wonderful. Acupuncture helps, the injections help and learning new ways to lift and do things around the house or at work. It all helps.

I hope you talk a little more before you make your decision. Good luck.

[lostandalone0908]

OCD??? dont know about that, i dont think so, but i am open to any options thrown my way, well, to be honest it is more than a 15 per day habit, it is a vicious cycle every week, i am tired of it!!!!  but then again the reason the dr considered me (I live in SD and they dont have clinics out here) so Dr felt between my back, which i have to find a resolution soon, i am only 38 and playing with my 2 year old is tough with my back, but i am looking into swimming therapy to begin, and possible surgery, problem is we have no insurance to afford that right now. anyway, the Dr's out here DO NOT put you on a meth prgram unless they truly believe it is for you, i do trust them out here, sioux falls is known for their medical schools, and hospitals. if anyone back in chicago would have said that i never would have trusted them, i would think they wanted $...again, i am not convinced, and i really appreciate your opinion...
yes, the support system i have is wonderful, we moved out here 1 year ago and i knew NO ONE. went to AA, just didnt care for the environment...my baby was running amuck, i could go on and on, but i still go whenever hubbys schedule allows. so to meet all these people and therapists has been a blessing, i am on the search for a resolution, one that suits me. i know people who have succeeded and people who have unfortunately failed on this program. so i am so happy to get these responses...thank you so much

[IBKleen]

Have you ever been diagnosed and/or treated for OCD? It really sounds like that is what is going on with you.

I would only recommend Methadone to either someone who was taking Heroin IV, or someone who was dying for pain mngt, as I think someone mentioned. I would not in clear conscience tell anyone to go on the program with a 15 pill a day habit. I fear you will be very, very sorry that you did.

I am glad to see that you have a solid support system in place. What do they say about this?

[lostandalone0908]

wow, i really appreciate all of your knowledge and time, i truly appreciate that. lets see, well the mental issue part i think i wrote wrong, it was 2 am after all...lol..what i meant to say was due to the fact i am facing some mental demons from childhood, i am worried to wean off the pills, as a 25 year addict, its been a long time since i havent ran from the pain, i WANT off the pills, but i tend to "self medicate" whenever i try with alcohol, or whatever i can get. i know it can potentially be dangerous, but in good faith, i also believe in myself and my new found support system, and i am hoping and praying this will work. i might also myention my husband is also addicted to the pills, we go round and round this chaotic ride every week, i cant do it anymore, i need something to change. like i was saying, the whole process of calling dr for rx, counting pills every day, running out, waking up wondering did i screw up again?? has to go....i believe what you said is right, this is a fight for my life, and i am trying to do what is right for me, but i also have concerns. yes i have done a ton of research, and i havent commited to anything, but i will make decision after i see dr and see what she says about it. i want a plan....i want to know when the end is coming so i  can work my a** of in therapy and chemical depency treatment. scares me to hear of people on it for so long, i was given a different impression by dr on phone...she knows i want off, so unless we come to an agreement, we will see....thank you so much

[petroglyph54]

Was just gettin ready to turn into a pumpkin and seen you came back. Good. It seems you already have a lot of knowledge about the M. You mentioned ruptured discs, I know that can be excruciatingly painful. I have similar back issues. I took methadone for a year for pain management and was switched to oxy. Like so many others my tolerance increased and got to  200mg's per day. Then, I wasn't getting pain relief from them but taking them to just not be dope sick. I didn't want to live like that realizing I would need to continue increasing my dosage for diminishing return, until I maxed out and liver failure. Just seems to be the logical progression of narcotics. It's called by many names, merry go round, circus etc. The one I heard the other day was "dope opera", that made me chuckle. All the rationalizing,chasing legal or other, it is still life consuming. Any thing I ever took was legal, but the trauma is very similar. Doctor's and scrips, holidays, you know the drill. Using for legitimate pain will eventually run it's course, and many will get where I was, "just the nature of the beast".Then some like me found that what I was taking for pain was also causing it. That's the "catch 22" part. What to do when what will stop the sickness is what's causing it? When a person makes up their mind to deal with the physical pain by other means, than those other means can and will be more effective, but not easy. That's part of why the pills hook us is because "it's easy" to just pop a pill and keep on keepin on. One more thing about using m to control pain to replace vicodin, still seems to me like smashing a bug with a really big hammer! It's a giant leap up in pain treatment. And you are already aware of the misery it can cause if it's used very long, it is a particularly difficult med to get away from. So on to part two. I've never heard of M being used for mental pain? You are doing the right thing, researching, talking to successful participants that have used this program, and talking to several dr's and proffessionals about getting clean. If that is what you think it will take to get this done, then you are probably correct. I hope the taper is short, because as you know it won't take long to get severely hooked on M, then be wishing you were back on vicodin. The best tool any of us has is our minds. Figuring out what you want and making up your mind to get there by any means necessary is what it takes to succeed. At this stage of the game it is a matter of life and death, play it to win it, the game is serious.

[lostandalone0908]

years ago heroin, then when i found vicodin that took over...thank God for me the H wasnt readily available, saved my life. anyway,then the vic's, norcos became my new best friend. a few years later, i ruptured discs in my back, so there came another script and a big monkey on my back. now, i have been trying to wean off under Drs care but i am not doing well with that. i take rx that should last 15 days in about 5 days, then go through w/d til my next rx. i am in personal therapy, as well as checmical dependency therapy, i go to AA, i go to another rpogram, so i have alot of support. but i believe now its an obsesstion, picking up the rx, counting pills, it consumes me. My dr recommended the methadone program, he felt, since all else has failed. heres why, i will be held accountable and have to check in daily. also, i can not take more than my dose, so i cant play Dr. i know its a long process, and i see pros and cons in this choice, but i just started all of these support groups and feel the methadone program will give me the time to establish support from others addicted, my  head isnt ready to quit, i want it, but like i said i know when i finish my taper, i dont think i m ready or trust myself to not go to other avenues. i know from experience with some people on the program that it worked well for them, as long as they werent buying more off street, and they followed the problem, plus i do have the pain issue that will hopefully be taken care of in this process. im not big on the clinics just from what i saw back in chicago, everyone would be waiting outside like i said to either sell theirs, to buy other drugs, or they would abuse their program. i was also worried, God for bid i would meet other addicts and possibly meet up with the wrong person, and find where to get stuff. i moved out of state to escaoe that scene, i dont want to know anyone here that sells, etc...anyway, i have been doing research for 3 days, found a private dr, and my gut is telling me the pros outweigh the cons for my personal issue. i know about going through the w/d from the methadone, i did it before from morphine i was injecting, and i did kick the vicodin when i was pregnant. again, i just feel this could not only stop consuming me, the pill counts, etc. and i would be seeing him long enough to get my head out of my rear while dealing with issues that prompted to start using to run from mental pain..
sorry, its complicated, i am not sold either way yet....thats why i want to hear the good and the bad experiences. i was hospitalized 3 times since Jan, and met women in there who got off using the program,
thanks for any input, good or bad

[petroglyph54]

First, welcome! You are amongst like peoples here. We need more info to give you better anwers. What kind of opiates have you been using, how much and how long? I am assuming " the methatdone route" means as a way to stop using opiates? Methadone is a synthethic opiod, I believe. As a way to stop using opiods, it could be like going from a sling shot to a cannon. Are you using just because or have you been on a medical program with a dr. for pain management? Methadone was originally to help heroin addicts stop using and later for severe pain management, it is near the end of the line for control of either, and I don't know if your there yet?