methadone

[freedom371]

ok I'm not sure if my other question posted. I'm new at this. I'm detoxing myself off methadone. I'm on my 13 th day, but in the middle of it, I took 25 mg for 3 days.
so, it's been 5 days since I had anything and I was cold turkey the whole week before that.
Did those three days set me back to square one, the beginning of my detox or just set me back a little? Ive barely slept the last two weeks. I haven't slept at all the last two nights. Also, I have a history of a detox seizure last year. I'm just so exhausted. Nothing works!!' Help please

[JMPCLP2]

James = me. Getting off methadone. history 2018-2019.... june 40mg july 60mg aug 80mg sept 100mg oct 100mg nov 80mg dec 40mg jan 10mg.... im at 10mg now. I have like 300mg of methadone to use to get to a point where I have to go cold turkey....  so to be more specific 1/10/19 15mg, 1/11/19 10mg, 1/12/19 10mg, 1/13/19 15mg, sunday 1/14/19 0mg, but today 1/14/19 I plan to take 10mg once I get too many symptoms. I was planning on going down at some rate maybe cutting dose in half every moday…. Im just curious how taking none is when I should be taking 10.... I have 300mg of methadone varying from 3 weeks old to today in like 30mg increments. so the shelf life, half life, withdrawl symptoms & Other peoples experiences could make a difference for me to have an easier or more effective time getting off methadone.

[freedom371]

Wow that's so awesome that you are clean off a 20 year habit. That says a lot about you and it gives me hope. thank you

[freedom371]

Thanks!! I appreciate it. Yeah you are right...I've come too far to back down now. And I never want to detox ever again. Ive had my fair share. But this time I hit rock bottom and decided I had to choose to live or die and I feel a finalization that I never felt before..an end to my active addiction. I guess I finally got enough. It's too bad that it took what it did to wake me up...losing everything I had, legal issues...but I've always been stubborn.lol. I'm not letting my addiction rule me anymore. I just can't take it. So I've taken drastic steps. Ive eliminated the people I know who use. I felt guilty but I had to because they made it too easy to relapse and would even tell me it was a bad idea to quit right now. Bizzare,Huh? Oh and yeah you did detox rapidly. Thats admirable. I brought myself down to 30 and stopped cold. So I know it *****. Congrats on being strong and determined. You are an inspiration. Do you sleep well now?

[Infamous32]

Keep it up and stay strong the worst has passed it will only get better from here. Tell yourself that, when you feel down. Congratulation, it almost over. Finish strong!!!!

[Infamous32]

For me, I started feeling back to myself around 60 days, but keep in mind I was dropping about 15mgs a week for 7-8 weeks, from which I was told was very fast. But you know I hated going to the pharmacy everyday, the idea of me not being in total control of my own life drove me to stop at nothing to quit. It was my motivation. When you feel like you wanna quit the battle, just think about the time you put in to get where you are, and feed on that. Ask your do I wanna have to feel this same crap again? It's just not worth it. Remind yourself it only gets easier from this day forward.

[freedom371]

Congratulations!!  Wow...that's really something to be proud of. Yeah I have to adopt a whole different mentality than what I'm used to. I'm used to relying on a substance. It even crossed my mind that If I just had a drink, it would ease my methadone withdrawals. I guess that's what I'm used to...self medicating. I have to be completely rewired. lol. I'll be so glad when the day comes when I don't think about it. I'm very determined and focused. I have detoxed off morphine before. It feels different than this though. Yet, so much the same. I just got so tired of being a slave to that junk, and I got real tired of that clinic taking my money and controlling my life. I based everything around dosing!! How crazy is that? I'm determined to break free from this trap

[VICourageous]

Ya Free its seems that we are different in our recovery time but the same when it comes to the w/ds. It did take me months of different stages but I can look back and say that was the easy part..Being that I have been using off & on for almost 40 years, Fighting my feelings and the beast is the hardest. BUT guess what??I do think it does ease up..For example, I have not had a alcohol drink in over 8 years and I do not crave it at all..Right on! But for me I know I can not have ANY Substances at all..I too was getting anxious and wanted it all to be done now. I had seen a Dr who told me it would take about a Year or Two for the Brain Neurotransmitter to balance back. But what was strange is that I felt mentally fine and happy but the physical body part did not want to follow. At first it is like we come out of a dream and nothing seems real. At least for me it did. So you have been down this road before I see. Well just hang on to your surf board and ride the wave..You know you will be walking on the beach real soon. Also for me if I took that unisome I would be a zombie. Just have to much side affects from that kind of med. Just keep in touch with us and let us know how you are feeling..Maybe we can suggest some more natural or over the counter things..OK!
Bless

[freedom371]

Thank you for responding. Yeah I know It's going to be so bad. I'm trying to prepare for it. My legs are driving me crazy. And of course, the horrid insomnia. UGH. But I'm giving this my all. That makes sense what you said about getting angry. Ive seen that my frame of mind does make a difference. When I get strong willed and fighting hard, my withdrawals don't seem to take over. But in my weaker moments, when I'm exhausted and wanting to give up, I feel worse and I let my detox consume me. This is, without a doubt, one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. I'm trying to have some control over this, but it's hard w no sleep. I was so tired earlier, my words are slurred and I've hallucinated from lack of sleep. I took 5 unisom last nite and didn't sleep a wink. Then I slept a couple hrs this morning. So how long did you say you have been clean? How long before you felt normal? I think I want to feel normal so bad,that I'm getting agitated...but I keep reminding myself it takes time. I've been abusing my body for so long. it won't happen overnight.

[Infamous32]

I don't want to scare you, but I was on Methadone for 2 years my stable dose was 125mg which I was on for about a year and a half (roughly 6 months building upto 125mg and about 4 months decreasing until I reach 5mg and about 2 months at 5mg) For me (keep in mind we're all different) I had about 60 days of horrid withdrawals (Cold sweats, hot flashes, insomnia, nausea and my skin felt like needle pricks everywhere) Then about 20-30 days of minor aches and pains. It really helped me to tell myself that there was no way I would let the drug beat me, I became very angry, which motivated me to slay this beast. We all have different ways of over-coming addiction, do whatever you think helps motivate you, and it's gravy from then on.

[freedom371]

THANK YOU. That's a real inspiration. I kinda feel like I'm waking up from a coma.lol

[weaver71]

Ha!!! You reminded me of my first good cry, I mean sobbing convulsive cry. I realizes I had feelings again, real feelings, and burst into laughter. I had tears of pain and joy in my eyes at the same time. It was so strange to me. No sleep, emotions off the chart, that's when Sarah congratulated me. I want to congratulate you the same way, "congratulations on feeling again." You are doing the most important thing you can right now. Know that, now you can feel that. I've never felt love and compassion like I do now. There is a sense of peace, even while sad. You have so much to look forward to, keep your eyes on the prize.

[freedom371]

Thank you everyone for your support!!!! God bless you

[freedom371]

Thanks. Yeah I feel better since I've got on here.

[freedom371]

Thank you weaver! Yeah I do judge myself harshly. And you are right...people have no right to judge. I'm staying focused on my recovery...and no more slip ups on methadone. I have to finish this. I was disgusted w myself when I did it, even though it was relief temporarily. At the same time, however, I was so angry at myself, It wasn't true relief. It just brought me a nights sleep. five days later, I have the same problem...so it's not worth it. It's crazy cuz sometimes I cry, then I laugh and then I'm angry,then I'm just a straight up zombie who feels nothing.

[EvolverU]

Well, you're amongst friends, here. You know what? I've never met more compassionate or cooler people than I have since I came here about five mos ago. There is so much positive force for healing and support. So much caring and love that comes out of this place. Stick with us. We're here for you. You're not alone! Glad to hear you're hanging in there and Congrats on your big thirteen days.

[freedom371]

congrats on  your clean time!! that's awesome. I can't wait till I can say I'm six months clean. Is nice to hear that it's possible. Sometimes I've wondered if I can do this. but I know I can. I'm strong. I had just forgotten that for a long time. Thank you for your support

[freedom371]

Thank you! I needed to hear that. I just want to feel normal again...whatever that is

[freedom371]

Thank you! Yeah I'm hanging in there. I seem to have a little more control over this detox than when I detoxed before. Then again, sometimes it seems worse than before. I have my moments. I'm so tired of the vicious cycle. I'm nervous and agitated

[weaver71]

All that support is great news. Sorry about the judges of the world, I bet they have something they are not proud of. Fact is, you had the guts to fess up. There will come a time that you will not judge yourself and other opinions will be irrelevant. You've heard of grateful recovering addicts, I'm one of them. I judged myself pretty hard too, most of us do. Those people speak from ignorance, try to view them as such. Focus on recovery, the rest falls into it's place.

As for sleep, that is the most popular topic around here. 21-30 days is a milestone for many. I must have read every post about methadone from the year 2000 to the present. I almost gave in on day 19, and day 21 it started getting better. Don't give up just before a miracle. It was worth it. Get out of bed and walk a lap around the house and try again, soak in Epsom salt baths as hot as you can stand it. If nothing else, it passes time, but it does help. I would count backwards from 100 over and over. I would skip numbers, lost my place, and then I'd relax and wake up. An hour or two makes a difference. No matter how bad it gets, you won't regret any of it. The promises are real. It still amazes me. Keep up the good fight.

[EvolverU]

Actually, one of the problems is that the Methadone is actually stored in tissues -- bone & fat. I takes 7 to 10 yrs. for the body to turn over every cell resulting in a whole new you. So, generally, the longer you took it, the harder it is to kick but there's constant cell turnover going on and you WILL feel the difference. As Weaver71 mentioned a good nutritional/supplemental regime will really help with this process. Exercise will also help speed detox as will proper hydration. I know how difficult this is but it IS doable. (I'm just about  6 mos. clean off a 20 yr. M habit) Hang in there & please, keep posting for support. If you can't sleep -- stay with us at night. We're here and we're pulling for you.

[VICourageous]

Oh Free you will sleep again I promise this. After a while I did not take anything to sleep. There was a few months that this is all I wanted to do..It was what I called "catch up sleep". Ha!!! You are a good person and do not let any body tell you different. Stay here with us too. We do have some fun now and then. I think you are doing a very awesome job. Heck you are giving your best..Keep it up..Ya!!!! High Five to you.
It just takes time to balance back.
Bless

[freedom371]

Yes I've been going to NA almost every day. I also have a couple of good friends who support me fully on staying clean and have went out of their way to help me. I hid my addiction from them for a long time. Finally when I decided to detox, I couldn't hide it..nor did I want to. Fortunately, they were good about it and are supportive. But there are a couple people who love to throw it up to me that I'm a drug addict. These are people who have never walked in my hellish world of addiction. So that really upsets me. I make myself feel bad enough with no help from anyone else. It's not been easy doing this. I don't need that. On top of everything else, I'm starting a new job. Ive pushed myself hard during this detox..even with no sleep and feeling like hell. I don't like people making me feel bad. I was asked why a person would keep putting themself through it. I can't even answer thAt myself. Ive asked myself. It's frustrating trying to explain it to someone who has no clue. And I'm convinced I will never sleep again

[VICourageous]

Hi..I myself can not tell you if you had some clean time and then took a few methadone if that will change things. From my own opinion if it was for a few days and very little it might or might not..the thing with methadone is that it is very synthetic and takes at least 30 hours to even go into a w/d..I read this info today. However I think since you had some time to let some detox out of your body you just need to keep pushing forward. From my experience of c/t at 30mgs I had a few months of different stages. Then the mental kicks in for a bit. The best thing is just give it time and except things as they come..I know this is easier then said. But we have to re-direct our self's from the issue..If you can walk or exercise or do some yard work or some crafts. Hit a few meetings..Anything is better then nothing. I gave you some info up above that I used for sleep. The more you do for the Body & Brain the faster you will bounce back. You are still young so this is on your side too. I for sure am no spring chic so it was hard on me plus coming off of 3 that pulled the nervous system in all directions So as I said just keep close to your post..We have a lot of experiences on here and people who also came of the Dones..I do wish you the best and you will get better soon.
Bless

[weaver71]

The methadone is out of your system at 5 days, you are waiting for your natural brain chemistry to kick in now. You probably set yourself back a couple days, but you are healing. Amino acids, vitamins and minerals help a lot. Most of us are malnourished, especially after detox. Take walks, go to 12 step meetings, try to be as active as you can. It's hard, I know. Swimming and saunas passed time and got my blood flowing, it helped. Do you have local support?