morning all,day 6, finally started meetings

[bugsy2222]

well, hello to all and most who do not know me, I am a revolving, relapsing addict. I can sit here and complain about pain from 5 back surveyed and 2 fusions but that's a cover up. I wanted to get high and used pain as an excuse. I recently had a double fusion in my back that took 7 hours and another 7 in recovery, I spent 6 days in the hospital and I was pushing that Pac pump every 15 min to get that morphine. Anyway, we addicts can learn from one another and as of 6 days ago, 3 days out from the hospital from major surgery I flushed all my brace down the toilet, I wanted to feel the pain because I feel I deserved it. I started to go to na meetings the same day, I was not suppose to drive because of my back but I had to weigh my options. Well now after meetings every day sometimes 2 a day I am starting to see some progress, yes the physical withdraws are off the scale, my mind is so depressed but guess what ,,I am clean, and that is my only objective. I would like to mention I am not a lite user gaunt means and I am a full blown addict. For all the newcomers the most important thing you can do is go tormenting, people will help you, we are all in this together, I am only saying this because I have tried to quit thousands of times with no success. These meetings na are giving me a reason to stay clean. Just saying , peace and hugs to allot us,,bugsy

[Bkitty2]

Congrats to you Bugsy! It is all a process and youre in the right mindset. I am glad that you reached out to NA you will soon realize that is a powerful resource that some choose not to use in their recovery. You don't deserve this. We all make mistakes and its ok. Forgive yourself. You have taken the first step in admitting that you are powerless over the drugs. Recovery is slow ongoing process that you will deal with for the rest of your life but it has beautiful rewards when all is said and done that will make this journey totally worthwhile. Keep us posted!! ((hugs))

[ImInAwe]

I can totally relate, I'm on day 5 of no suboxone. When I was in the hospital, I was pushing that morphine button too! That was my DOC before suboxone. Meetings are so helpful! Keep it up, you're inspiring me to make it to day 6. Thanks! PM me anytime you wanna talk. That depression is tough ****.. I know talking helps me.

[bugsy2222]

sorry, spelling *****, shaky hands. I meant go to meetings,  bugsy