Stopping again

[jjbird]

So this is my second time trying to stop taking lorcets. I stopped around march april this year and then went back to them. I haven't posted on here since because I was ashamed. I really really want to quit and be done with them but it is so hard. I am on day 4 and want some so bad. I remember how things were better before I started using and just wish I could get back to that point. But at the moment it seems impossible. I have no friends here where I live and only my husband. So when he is at work and I am home its hard. He is also quitting taking them and so we are withdrawing together. I think if I had stuff to do or places to go that it would be easier for me. And I am not the type to do stuff by myself either. And I am just hoping that I can get my life back that I had before where I don't feel so lost, and out of control and anxious. This is the hardest thing I have done and for my kids and husband I have to stop. And so I figure out what I am suppose to do in life and honor God.

[jjbird]

So Day 5. Much better this morning. I slept from around 10:30 to about 4 this morning this was up and down until time to kids up for school. Feeling better in my head and like there might be an end to this. Still have some anxiety issues and stomach issues and the feeling of like I should be doing something but dont know what.  I keep hoping to wake up and this be like a bad dream and it be over. I have found a church that does the 12 step celebrate recovery and its a church that my hubby and I wanted to try out too. So gonna try to get up and go to church this Sunday then at 5 they have the celebrate thing. Am hoping if I get back in church like I was when younger that it will help with everything.

And like so many others a few years ago I didnt know want lortabs or lorcets were and now I do and so wish I didnt. I started using when a friend gave them to me. And then it was once in awhile. Well I knew I could get a script and did then she and I shared it until we both were buying of the street. My husband and I almost divorced over it and I ended up walking out on my job. I dont want to ever go down this road again. I love my husband more than this world and do not want a divorce. As for my friend well for months we didnt talk(she was also my boss at the time). well now we are talking a little and she is clean. Well that is what she tells me. She did tell me yesterday that she takes a lortab like once a month. I told her she shouldnt do that but that has to be her decision as for me dont know if I could do that without going back where I was a week ago.

[vicki595]

J...A great way to make friends is to volunteer at the kid's school.  I did that and made some lifelong friends in the process!
The anxiety is normal and it DOES pass. It will get less and less.  Reading really helped me in the beginning.
Now,get moving around,pumping blood,and get those endorphins flowing!
V.

[jjbird]

Thanks all for your post!! And I am trying to keep busy to keep my mind distracted. the physical effects or at least some are going away but I still have the anxiety and the feeling of not knowing what I should be doing. I really dont even want to take any pills which is good that is a good motivator to stop. I just want the life I had before back like today which I know isnt gonna be that soon. And yes to make some friends would be great because after living hear for 4 yrs I have none. I have tried to meet people but they seem to busy or something. Most people dont even wave hear to say hi. I told my husband I am ready to move again but we dont know where we want to go or what place would be good.

[vicki595]

J~    Okay,Brian gave you some resources and we can help you with the withdrawals.
Just ask any question or explain what's going on physically and we'll try to help.
The mental part is a bit harder. I'll suggest a few things:
Get some exercise! You won't believe how much it helps. Books have been written on the subject! Many doctors feel that exercise is the #1 most important thing in getting through withdrawals and feeling better.
Meetings,groups, a therapist...Also big. There's a reason why we use and we need to get to THAT!
Find a routine that works for you and stick to it!  Exercise in the morning(this includes cleaning the house and doing laundy!). Plan a good dinner,shop for it,and prepare it! For
ME,this takes a lot of time and is very distracting.
Read...anything and everything!
You can keep busy and stay that way...it will really do you some good!  Stop thining and start doing for a while. It will become second nature!

Last,keep posting here and post to others. Make some friends!

V.

[bmdad]

Here is a link to some meetings in your area......

http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/SSearchResults.cfm

Here is a link where you can search for meetings.

http://portaltools.na.org/portaltools/MeetingLoc/

Hope this helps!

[udoschoices]

yes i second those things... i am on day 4 and i HAD to make a change to stay clean... i'm going to NA meetings and posting here. You have to get past the "perceived shame" and just try something different. People at NA meetings are normal people like you and me, not just a bunch of junkies. Hearing and knowing that other people struggle like we do is very helpful.. I tried NOT doing that and "my way" and failed so many times its too hard to count. I suggest talking to a counselor or just finding a local NA meeting and check it out. You don't have to go crazy and "drink the kool-aid" and be a nuta bout it, unless you want to. If you take away something from it and it helps you say no to the pills that is a start. Just posting here is a start. I did the same thing a few days ago after not posting for a LONG time because i was a bit shameful but you know what? Nobody on here cares. We have all been there and done that so its nothing to be ashamed about. Keep coming back, keep posting, and find something else to occupy your mind.. exercise, anything.

believe in yourself, you are almost out of the physical w/d woods but the mental is WAY tougher. Staying off them

[jjbird]

I was thinking of trying to find a group or meeting to go to. Not sure how to find one though. I am right now on phone waiting to talk to a nurse so she can give me some advice on the withdrawal etc.

[cpdave]

Boy I am so there with you about thinking quiting was the hard part and if only I could get thru the wd I'd be allright well I never believed in after care till after my millionth time quiting I finally surrendered and sought help then it made it so much easier to stay stoped now don't think all u have to do is go to a meeting it still is a lot of work but the aftercare helps soooooo much and has made me a believer.Good Luck and God Bless

[laurel453]

i meant support not supprom , sorry :)

[laurel453]

Hi welcome back jjbird.

you have realised that staying clean is really harder than getting clean... i would ask you to make some changes now..... i know you really want to quit but staying clean is not easy for us because we are used to rely in some pills to get over a lot of emotions and feelings... stress, anxiety, depression, boredom, happyness, fun, worries, discussions, daily problems, etc, etc....those emotions, those problems and those feelings will not stop happening just because we have quitted and  we are happy of not being on the pills anymore.... life will still be coming to us every day with its daily problems so maybe this time you need to ask for help, aftercare.... so you can learn some tools to handle problems and your addictive behaviour.... you will also need the supprom other addicts :)

now, what do you think of this ? ... Na meetings, addiction counselling, therapy... whatever it may help you .