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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

my husband wants me to have an ABORTION!!!

My husband just called and said he would take me back if I had an abortion.I CAN NOT do that.What do I do?any advice would be helpful.I am so furious with him.I can;t beleive he wants me to do that.OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
24 Responses
Avatar universal
I think I had rather lose my man.I mean, he knows how bad I have ALWAYS wanted kids.NO offense though.I will miss him.Maybe he will have a change of heart. The reason he wants me to is cuz he don't like kids or big responsibility.
Avatar universal
check your email.
Avatar universal
I did.I sent you One.
Avatar universal
Interesting perspective.  I'm glad your on here.  I never gave a care what the guys thought.  They never complained.  I was so young and I think they knew it wasn't right.
You know what I think is intersting.  If you and I were to meet, we'd never give each other a second thought and yet here we have a shared experience and feel a connection.
Maybe there's hope for the world.
Avatar universal
U know I actually had that thought to today. Since we can't see each other on here and can only connect through experience then it strips away all the first impression bull%@%$, like race, wealth, class, weight, looks, what hood u come from, or religion.  I think everybody concentrates on differences to much. I think everybody in this world has much more in common then they think if their not afraid to put their guard down.
Avatar universal
You need to be as strong as you can be. I am going to be blunt but this maybe your one chance to have a child. If this is something that you REALLY want, you could do it alone. I raised two kids on my own, it's amazing how many programs there are out there for single mothers. You could go on AFDC, get medical and get wic. If he does not want this baby then I don't think he is worth it. I am here for you, and so is everyone else here. WE KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS!
Jennifer
Avatar universal
I knew it was about the baby.  I've had 2 abortions it just wasn't the right time for me and I didn't want to be attached to the guys I was with.  I don't regret it.  I don't think it's a sin.  I think you have to ask yourself a few questions.  
He doesn't want any kids or your kid.  Big difference
Do you want to be with him forever.  Cause even if you decide to keep this baby your stuck with him unless he signs over parental rights.  
It's possible to raise this baby on your own but man there is no room for error.  You've gotta have a great support network.  Are your parents behind you.  Are his that makes difference too.  
I felt guilty as hell after my first one but I was 22 and very young 22.
You got some thinking to do.  Let me know if I can help.  I know you wanted to talk on the phone.  It's no ld charge for me to call you.  If you want to talk then maybe you can give me your email and we can hook up that way.
I'm here for you.
Avatar universal
***@****
Avatar universal
Can I have your e-mail,Please? I really need someone to talk to.I know I am probaly aggravating everyone with all my posts.It is just that I am soooo confused.
Avatar universal
Man I'm glad their is a lot of women on this sight because it really makes me understand them better. This is a touchy subject. My girlfriend was pregnant at 18 and I was 23.  I made her get a abortion. She was mad at me for such a long time but a couple of months ago which was 2 years later, she told me she was glad that she did it. She was mad at me for two years before she forgave me. To be honest with you I think she knew it was for the best but she just was pissed off that I made her do it and didn't even consider the other option. I don't know your situation but if u feel like the best thing is to have the baby then have it. Also have u talked to your husband on why he wants u to have an abortion? I was doing a lot of crime so I was scared that my baby would have a jailed father. I was an orphan so when she had that abortion I felt like I was doing worse then my parents.  So if u do get the abortion u will feel guilt but if u don't u will lose your man. Damn thats tough.  Good luck
Avatar universal
Check your email.
Avatar universal
If you don't mind shorty....I'll email you too!!! I'll tell you a thing or two. I don't think that you should have an abortion, any man that wants you to do that isn't a man at all!! (please don't get mad at me for saying that) Does he know about your addiction?? Do you think that may be why? I'm going to email you okay!!!
Keep Strong!
sincerely, strictly me
Avatar universal
I am telling from experiance do not let him force you into anything!! hope fully this statement Im going to make will not offend anyone, but I worked at an abortionclinic for a year and have seen the positive and the negitive side I had 1 at 16 my lifestyle like oneway was dangerous and not the time but I did regret doing it and I became preganant 1 year later I didnt even give it athought it is your choice and no one can make it for you,no man raelly knows how it feels no offense oneway !! you can do it on your own if needed
Avatar universal
Sorry to kind of but this in but you lived in Australia before? That has always been the only other country i've ever wanted to travel too!!! How is it there?? Please, tell me more about it!!!
Thanks!!! As for you shorty...did you get my email???
Strictly me
Avatar universal
Yeah I got it.thanks
Avatar universal
That last post was meant for you.no i didn't get your email.I will keep checking,and I don't mind one bit.
Avatar universal
Wow that is a subliminal shot taken at me.  I could say that your not a real women for being a mother on drugs and I'm not saying that. I think that was a ignorant comment. My girlfriend was doing coke when she was pregnant.  I was under investigation by the  government my girlfriend had no education and her family lives in the ghetto, plus I was surrounded by drugs. My gf is in school now. She told me that if she would have had that baby she wouldn't have been able to make something of herself. Sometimes u got to lose one to get one. I think abortions have saved a lot of live from misery. I don't care if u don't agree with me but to attack someones character because of a decision that he thought would better two lives is  disrespect.
Avatar universal
I had 2 kids by the age of 18 and it was the most hardest thing in my life to do... I thank god every day that my mother was there to help me. I still made it through high school and collage and still went through rough patches but i made it..... i beleive you can make it to. If you feel you need help is there anyone you can turn to to help you? I had good support through my time of need... I could only wish you the same. trust and beleive in your self. you can get through anything. but dont do anything for a man... no offense to any man here! You do what you feel is right in hart.

I wish there was a way i could help you. If i could post my email addy i would but i dont know if you can here.

good luck to you and i am here if you need help! I think we all are here for support!
Avatar universal
Hey the brood is down. ok.  Since you really want to do this and should considering your age and health here is what I did.
When I got pregnant with my first we were living in Australia.  We moved and I swear my husband applied every where in the world.  Including Cairo for a job anyway.  We came back home end of Jan. I went to the state and got a job by feb.   I knew there was not way I was going to be able to afford to have a baby with no insurance.  So 51/2 months I took a job doing data entry.  Husband with a PHd in ******* rocket science and can't get a job. Me with a BA and us living with my mom.  So anyway I took this minimum wage job just for the insurance.  Anything can go south and you will need a high risk ob gyn no state funded program is going to pay for that so start looking for a city or state job in your town.  They have to take you on their insurance regardless of your health status.
177003 tn?1266273955
The last thing I would do is judge anyone for a personal decision. I had my two girls and a divorce by age 19. I graduated from high school and later went on to become a communication dispatcher for city P.D. Great insurance.

When I think about it I know I would have had my kids no matter what. They're grown now and married. One is a dental hygenist and the other works for an optomitrist.

Shorty, you do what will make you the most comfortable now and later when you look back. I know you're going through so much right now. It's a shame you don't have your husband there for support like he should be. Does he know he's replacable??

Take Care and God Bless.....LS
Avatar universal
I don't think he does know,but he is,if he feels that way,I don't know...thank you for all the comforting words.
176889 tn?1234356182
I think it's unbelievably beautiful the way all of you have responded to Shorty's cry for help... also oneway's reaction to feeling judged was so honest so real and nobody wants to hurt anyone nor prove they're right just struggling together to find the right path, to do the good thing, to find the balance between possible and actual, between the wisdom of the head and the truth of the heart... you are the most incredible folks and I just pray that you'll all find the road home...  L,  Nefesh
Avatar universal
I am soooo sorry if I offended anyone! I just felt like shorty is already going through so much, and to top it off with abortion? That's really a hit in the gut you know!!! I am sorry if I was judgmental, I wasn't trying to be that way, but i really dont believe in abortion, it takes 2 for a female to get pregnant, and if you don't want a women to get pregnant or a women don't want to, then the proper precautions should be tooken during intercourse. And even then you can still get pregnant, and if that happens...God is trying to bless you with a child for a reason!!! Some things I will keep to myself from now on....your right, he is still a man for running away from this women who seems to be so wonderful, while she's pregnant!! I mean I don't know..I don't want to sound rude or sarcastic, I'll just leave the topic alone!!! Shorty if your out there.....Are you okay??? I haven't seen any postings at all from you!! Keep Strong honey, everything will work out!!
Sincerely, strictly me
Avatar universal
I approve and I will tell you why... really think about what you are saying... don't get it just have the baby and don't care.... thats how it works... if there was no such thing how many baby's would you find a dumpster how many baby's would be put in foster to grow up in a horrible place.. and i trust me i know what it is like... 16 of my nieces and nephews where put there... so please think before you say you are against it... its bad enough you got moms that are to afraid to come out and say something so they have it and then kill it.. what a way to die.... if it was not for abortion then there would be graves diggin everyday for babys that their mom did not want or fathers... i know it is hard to think about it that way. be it also helps the baby not to suffer that way. they don't need feel the pain of being stabbed drowned or strangled. or just left to die. that is my opinion but please really think about it before you say you are against it.

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