not doing well.....God help me....

[kimmieb]

hi all.  i've only been doing this for not quite 24 hours so i'm not even into the worst part of it yet from what i read.  this is pure he-- for sure.  i can honestly say i have no idea how ALL of you people have done this.  i'm most scared of the fact that i have two young children and a puppy and a house and my husband leaves town in just a matter of hours and is gone for the next 3 days and 3 nights (when i'll be the worst,  i take it, right?)  how in the world am i going to do THAT????  plus, the worst thing i'm experiencing right now besides just the chills and sweats, is a pounding, thudding right occipital lobe headache/migraine that is overhhelming and makes me want to take a sledgehammer to my head.  if i didn't have kids, i'd ask the good Lord to take me right this very instant.  i know i'd be better off.  seriously.  no one should have to go through this.  i took 4-6 lortabs a day. even someone taking 20-30 tabs a day shouldn't have to be put through this.  it's insane.  there's GOT to be a better way.  i know we have to do through the deepest darkest valleys.......but........   do we ALL come out the other side healthy and free of pain?????  i'm sincerely beginning to doubt it, really.  and i've been reading and posting here like crazy, so i'm not just saying this out of the blue with no knowledge behind me.  please help me.  anyone.  God, are you there?????  last night i couldn't stop sobbing uncontrollably.  didn't matter how much i tried, couldn't stop.  bad.  very bad.  made the headache even worse.  i have NO idea how i'm going to get up,showered, dressed and drive to my 2:00 dr. appt. today.  i look like i have the bubonic plague or even worse.  no exaggeration.  how do you go out into the world at this point in wd's????  has anyone ever done that before, less than 24 hours into it, or say 26 hours into it???? please help.  you all are simply awesome and i have nothing but respect for each and every one of you,no matter where you are in your journey.  hands down.  God bless  you all each and every day of your life's journey.....   K.

[kimmieb]

thank you thank you!   yes....i AM now sorta on the other side....and can see things from a different perspective already....

yes, please DO start a new threat about B-12 shots.  honest to God, i am not kidding, i've heard about those for years and never thought twice about them or even CONSIDERED how important they might be at a time like this....but they are truly a blessing.....i think more people on this forum should know about them.....they DO help stabilize the mood thing (so would definitely help with the "depression after wd's thing" that people here area always mentioning in their posts....

my hubby is supportive and knows the situation.....got through those tough days (Monday and Tuesday) when he was gone.....and yes, we definitely have Angels here on this forum....no question about that at all.....what a perfect way to say it.....

thank you again for all of your care, concern, compassion (the 3 c's :-)) and direction and guidance through all of this for me so far.....wouldn't have gotten this far without all of you.....this is an amazing group of people....can I get an "'amen" to that?!

bless all of you.....
kimmie

[swtbreezie]

Hi kimmie, God Bless you.  I have a lorcet addiction I don't actually KNOW how many I took per day but was more than 6-8  I am on 20 days clean now.  I hope this gives you some hope.  YES the w/d was horrible, and I still have RLS at times, but thank GOD it began to let up a little after the first week.  I went to hell and back, you would have to read my story, not going to put it here.  BUT you can do it.  Keep hanging in and posting, the Angels here will help all they can.  I would NOT go back to the pills for anyone.  Did you tell hubby and does he support you, you could use some help with the baby's I'm not sure I could do it with small children.  Good Luck hon.  And maybe you can keep them with activites to keep them busy.  Gosh I know it is hard on you but hang in there please I am living proof it can be done.
swtbreezie

[feohmoon]

My fiance and I ordered some injectable B12 from Canada - got 10shots each for $30. - So wonderful to see that you are feeling better!  
I think I will do a new thread re: B12

[Jacqui805]

I'm so sorry I just got to your post just now.  I am so glad you're doing better now.  It's such a God-awful experience and you either swear you're dying, or at least briefly wish you might.  I went through hell, like everyone else, and I swear the length of time I went through it, I thought for sure, would obliterate my sanity - provided I lived through it at all.  So many physical and emotional s/s.  I'm ill too, so now stuff I'm still having I'm even wondering if it's still w/d or s/s of the illness.  The headache can be a bit**.  It's mostly due to increased BP that happens during w/d.  Once you skate past the craps, the pukes, the early stuff, then you're dealing with the insomnia still, anxiety, sweats, you know.  It is tough, but it is so doable.  Nothing o-t-c helped me, but I did lay in hot baths, use a heating pad, and come here quite often.  That and some remnant of intestinal fortitude has me singing Hallelujah on day 32 here.  Here's to seeing you on the other side babe!  Hang in there.  We've got your back.  Jacqui

[kimmieb]

yes, i think i'm now a huge proponent of vitamin b-12 shots!!!!  i'm tellin' ya guys, get one -- they DO help balance out the whole mood and system and everything.  unless it's totally coincidental....but i think not....cuz i was in baaaaaaaaad shape on monday before i got it....now i just have to find out how often one is supposed to get those shots....i know some people absolutely swear by them....i think i'm now one of those people :-)javascript:submit_post_comments();
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[kimmieb]

thanks, cathy.....i will try the excedrin migraine....certainly worth a very good shot....thanks for thinking of me and sharing!

have a blessed day :-)

kimmie

[kimmieb]

thank you!  hey, if i'm ever in london (very possible someday soon, as my hubby is there right now and goes there at least 4 times a month and i can fly with him anytime), wouldn't it be COOL to meet up?  i, for one, would love it.  you're awesome and someone i'd truly love to meet and chat with and hug.  you've been wonderful.  thank you for your beautiful heart.....
xxxxxx
000000
kimmie

[NautyOne]

if I read your post correctly...you said you were taking 6 lortabs a day.  I am suprised you are feeling this awful.  Did you ever try to taper.  I tapered and the only sypmtoms I had were depression and occasional lack of sleep.  I am so sorry you feel so bad.  I truly believe in tapering, but it does take discipline.  With what your describing and how bad you feel coming off such a low dose.  I hope in your case it doesn't get worse and only better from here on.  We are all different, so hang in there......easy for me to say ....I know.

God Bless,
Nauty....................

[lostmarbles]

you sound a whole lot better, keep at it as in a few days time you will feel on top of the world!! you are doing so well!! keep it up, keep posting.. love and luck to you!! x

[watermom]

Congratulations....you do sound great.  I really think the Vitamins help immensely.  

Keep up the good work......and yes the emotional/mental is harder than the physical.  I am on day 10...feel physically great.....have my ups and downs emotionally..It takes a while to get back to "normal" I hear.

[cathy5841]

yes, the excedrin miagraine works for any head ache i get.  even if it is just a stress headache.  sinus headache.  i swear by it.  like i said takes about an hour for it to work, but, work it does.  at least for me it does..good luck
cathy

[kimmieb]

Oh, and i'm going to try that excedrin again.  But.....can i still take it for headaches that are NOT migraines????  that is always my problem (and why I took the lortabs).  i get bad killer headaches that begin and sometimes stay in my right occipital lobe that are not migraines and do not develop into migraines, so i don't take my classic migraine med for those because I can't and shouldn't......but without lortabs, i have no other way to get rid of these un-migraine-like headaches.   can i still use that excedrin then?  thanks!!!!!  hope to hear more from you.....

blessings,
k.

[kimmieb]

hey!  yep, it's me......the same me :-)  believe it or not.  i swear it was that b-12 shot (well, and the help of this awesome forum).  couldn't have probably done this without both.  and i mean it.  thank you from the bottom of my tired and worn out but happier heart.....

love and blessings to you,
kimmie

[kimmieb]

you got it, babe......AMEN!!!!!!!!!!  
luv and blessings to ya,
kimmie :-)

[kimmieb]

i will try not to fool myself into thinking that i wasn't "addicted" to this stuff....it is a tricky mind game though, isn't it?  hmmmmm....gee....these wd's weren't that bad really....guess my body wasn't really THAT addicted or dependent as i thought.....that's more like the devil stepping in and saying "aha, I got her again!!!!!!"  nope, can't let that happen.....i will have my guard up.....thanks for the advice and the warning....good advice to heed....thank you!!!!  and God bless you and yours, kimmie

[kimmieb]

thank you!!!!   and thanks for the heads up about the things that still may be coming my way so that i don't get discouraged and scared and think it's happening all over again.  not that i'm glad you're not feeling well on some days.....but at least i'll know it's not abnormal.  

my eye on the prize....my eye on the prize....i'll try to remember that!

thank you for your thoughts and your kind thoughts and compassionate heart and prayers.....

luv,
k.

[kimmieb]

got get one!  i'm dead serious (well, i'm not dead, just serious)  got get a B-12 shot.  i'd heard about them before and never thought TWICE about that.  just poo-hooed them like everything else.  i honestly think that is what helped me get through this soooooooooooo much better.  i mean, c'mon, read my first posts from sunday and monday before i saw my doc and got the shot.....i was a total blubbering mess in every sense of the word.  didn't think i was ever going to get through all of this with the kids and my husband gone and no help, blah blah blah.....

anyway, go get a b-12 shot! and let me know how you feel then.....

blessings :-)
Kimmie

[toxictome]

YOU"RE DOING IT!!! WAY TO GO!!!
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU>...waht a struggle, huh?
You sound so much better...there will still be ups and downs and emotional stuff...just did deep to find the strength to get thru it. On my day 22-23 or somewhere in there...i started having chills, bone  pain and bodyaches..it has subsided for a few days but is kicking up a little today...i jsut look at it as part of the process...and this too shall pass...it its tolerable, i take a couple motrin and hop in a hot bath...then i feel better!

KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE>>>>we are here rooting for  ya!!!!

[cathy5841]

kimmie, i am so proud of you, you are doing awesome.  i highly recommed you try excedrin miagraine.  it has helped with my headaches more than any narcotic ever has...even when it is not a miagraine.  in about an hour after you take i promise your headache will be gone, at least for me it is and i have horrific heaches.  can't see and get so sick to my stomach i throw up for hour, but the excedrine stops it.  just give it a try.  keep up the good work, you will be so glad you did. w/ds are different for everyone.  but please donot let your addiction fool you into believing you were a addicted as you thought, i promise that is the coniving side of your addiction talking to you.  i am so proud of you, you sound great.
keep us posted and we are here for you.
cathy

[Avalancheblanche]

I am going out to get a B-12 shot!

[Flutterby111]

Yay for you Kimmie...You sound great!   I know about the migraines and headaches.  I suffer both and know the difference. that's what got me into this mess....  Yesterday I suffered sorely from a terrible headache but it was NOT a migraine so I wasn't about to waste my imitrex (it's expensive)...Good luck honey....  Go get a massage, you deserve it, and it helps me with headaches, though they are expensive and it is time consuming,,,,but we need the pampering, Right?  Can I get an AMEN>?

[gizzy32]

who are you, lol. you sound completely different from the other night. i am so happy to see you doing better and like we said, it only gets better. i am proud of you for doing this, i know you struggled that first night. way to go.

[kimmieb]

Thank you!  Ok, I'm just about at 3 days.  It'll be 72 hours around noon today that I took my last lortab.  

went to my doc on monday....got b-12 shot....did I already post this by the way????  if i did, i'm so sorry to repeat myself.....can't even remember what i've said to whom these days.....seriously!

anyway, got b-12 shot and some totally pure omega-3's that she swears by and takes herself for her bad back pain (was in car accident awhile ago)  didn't need the reglan for my nausea, was able to eat something, was just the appetite that wasn't there

gave me something for "migraines"......but that's NOT what I needed....i have classic migraine meds (non-narcotic)....what I really need is something else that is for the non-migraine headaches....and can't find anything for that....doc did NOT give me anything narcotic....on the contrary, she told me good job for getting off of these things, they will give me alzheimers at a very young age, she sees it all the time in patients who are on opiates and alcoholics.....yikes!!!   had never heard that one before.....something to consider, guys, huh?

anyway, update:  wd's?  what wd's?  seriously, i think something is wrong.  i'm feeling ok, except for thudding headache and not a lortab in sight to help it go away.  otherwise, little less energy (but then again, even on lortabs, I didn't have energy)  got my lab results back, very deficient in vitamin D, magnesium, calcium....and hemoglobin Alc is high (something about diabetes???)  i'm beginning to think i wasn't as addicted or dependent upon these things as i thought i was.  am i kidding myself or what?  could it be?  i dunno.....i just know i was feeling super emotional and super yucky on sunday night and through monday.   hey, wait a minute, do you think that B-12 shot was the kicker?  I bet THAT is what has helped so much.  the doc told me it would stabilize mood and help everything feel better.   she gives them to her patients all the time and they swear by them.  hey guys, i highly recommend them! :-)  seriously.  but really, am i still in for some hard, hard times ahead?  more mental and psychological maybe than physical?  anyone else have this same experience (feeling like it was "too easy" and something just wasn't right?)  

also, once again,and i can't say it enough times anyway, thank you thank you thank y ou thank you thank you thank you to ALL here who listened to me cry and vent and sent comfort and compassion directly to me through this wonderful technology we call computers.  you guys are an inspiration and a constant source of information, knowledge, and a perfect combination of compassion/care/sensitivity and tough love.  i love you guys.  thank you!

will keep posting as i can continue to count days instead of hours :-)

may God bless you all today.....wherever  you are.....and wherever you are in your journey.....

love & blessings to y'all,
kimmie

p.s.  to anyone just starting out and trying to get off this stuff, GO FOR IT -- IT CAN BE DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Flutterby111]

Yay, so glad to see an update.  You're doing it sister...it's harder than he**.  WE all know this... We're pulling for you.  Hang in there and let us know how you do.  ;)