oxycodone addiction

[TheHell]

Hello everyone.  I am looking for help and advise for my husband to be.
He suffers from chronic back pain.  When we met 3 years ago, he was taking 1-3 oxycodone per day for his pain.  This past September he had spinal fusion surgery and prior to entering the hospital, he was taking perhaps 12 oxycodone per day - prescribed by his doctor.  He is also taking pregablin or lyrica for pain.  It is now 6 months after the surgery he is still taking between 8.5 and 11 oxycodone perday and 2 pregablin.  He is going for physio and the therapist is encouraging him to reduce the meds.  I had tried getting him to drop his 4 hour dose by half a pill but that did not work out too well.  He broke out in sweats and the answer was he just took another pill.  He is very irritable, paranoid, yells a lot, is very defensive and ultra sensitive.  I feel the oxycodone is ruining his life and our relationship very quickly.  He wants to get off it but is not convinced that the drug makes you think you are having more pain so that you will take more.  Can anyone confirm this please?  He says he will believe it if someone who went through this confirms it.  We are looking into rehab and detox.  Does the clonodine work well?

Thanks for your help and I wish you all success in kicking your habits and hope that your loved ones can weather the storm with you.

[TheHell]

Thanks for your message.

This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to face in my life, so I cannot imagine what it is doing to my husband.  he was just on the phone with me absoutely bawling saying that his life is f****ed.  He does not see that it is possibly his pills as well.

He promised to go home and not leave.  I am on my way home very soon.  He sounds like he has hit rock bottom and is having a nervous breakdown.  He is torn between his life for me and his dislike for my son.

He thinks it is all my son, not the drugs.  

Do you still love your ex, or has he totally lost your respect at this point

[random288]

This is random again the girl that called off her wedding, I think you are doing the right thing...he needs to get healthy before he can ever begin to be the man you should be marrying that will help support you and your family.  I am breaking up with my fiance tonight and I know this is a lot for him to handle but I have tried to help him with this addiction for 2 years and I leave knowing I have done I can do and it's time for him to get serious and stand on his own 2 feet.  You may not be ready for all that yet, but depending on how close your wedding is I would discuss postpoining it, mine was just 3 months away

You asked early if this harmed anyones intimate relationship, both times my ex-fiance relapsed and was using heroin he never wanted to have sex...when he was healthy he always wanted to, very interesting I don't know if Oxy is the same but something to think about.

My ex is always irritated with everything and everyone and he trys to blame it all on me, he is still doing it even after all the trouble he has caused by his drug problem, he isn't healthy and all he is doing is manipulating this situation...no one will get healthy until they want to do it on their own.......I hope he realizes how serious oxy is and I just don't get how doctors prescribe them..>I dont think they should be legal.

[TheHell]

We had a major blowout last night until 3:30 a.m.  I am at work now and have not slept.

I have a teenaged son.  We have been together for going on 3 years now.  My son is a kid and kids are never perfect and they often have to be told things over and over again.

My boyfriend cannot understand how it is possible that a kid cannot get things right the first time and believes they should be told once.  It is little things that upset him and build up and then he snaps.  Last evening it was about my son belching in front of me.  He feels that my son is being disrespectful to me.

He sometimes forgets to lock the door - I do too.  I was brought up in a family of 9 people.  My mom did not work, so I never owned a house key.  I have 2 older children who are no longer at home.  They never locked the door.  We lived in a small town and were not very diligent during the day about locking the door.

Unfortunately my son forgot recently and I did as well, but we were home.

My son walks across the lawn in the snow and that pisses my bf off.

He has never been married, never had children, never lived with children.

Everything about my son irritates him and he feels he cannot live with him.  He feels my son is deliberately trying to put a wedge between us.

I know men and women think differently about discipling.

My son is a very good child.  He is never in trouble.  Everyone always comments about how great a kid he is with the exception of my bf.

Does this sound in any way shape or form familiar to anyone with kids of their own or with someone else who is addicted to oxycodone, who has no tolerance for anything, and anyone inside or outside the house.  He has been basically in since his surgery for about 7 months and when we go out, he complains about how everyone drives, about clerks in stores, how everyone is in a hurry and rude and disrespectful

is there any way that I should attribute any, some, all of this to his drug?  Please help me and us.  I have been giving him the benefit of the doubt and blaming much of it on his pain and his meds.  There are major mood swings, much anger, a touch of violent behaviour.. ie throwing things.  

Thank you so much for your help.  We are on the verge this very morning of breaking up, cancelling our wedding, him moving out.

[confused456]

bump

[TheHell]

Thanks so much for your input.  It has all been so helpful to me.  I was just getting to the end of my rope after trying to help for so long and now seeing the anger most of the time.
random288 your post hit hard, as we keep talking about the possibility of cancelling the wedding.

(not so) Spuky.  Thanks for the suggesetion about the pregablin.  He had been taking 3 prior to surgery but had cut back to 2.  We will try the 3 again.

MikeWith Family.  Your post means so much to me thank you.  I read it to him over the phone and I got so emotional I had to hang up.  I am at work.  I will print everthing for him to read.

Did it affect your intimate life as well?

I have done tons of research and am arming myself with information on oxycodone addiction, tapering off, suboxone, clonidine, and whatever else I can get my hands on.  We are making an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon to discuss all of this.

[random288]

I don't have time to write much, but be very careful...my fiance who I just called off the wedding with was addicted to oxy's in 2004 and they cut him off and he has been addicted to heroin on and off ever since!  take care of this asap and get him into REHAB!

[MikeWithFamily]

My name is MikeWithFamily and I read your post. I do not know if pain pills trick you into thinking you have more pain or not. I would bet that they do. But when you get that answer, I have a suggestion that might help him get the hlep he needs.
I was taking between 30 and 40 vicodin a day. I am now taking zero and taking a medication called Suboxone. If anyone has read my posts, they will know what I am about to say...and that is Suboxone works wonders. Its a wonderful medication to aid in the withdrawal and works like nothing else. His personality is one that all to famililar. Prior to my addiction, I used to be a happy "go lucky" kind of guy. I laughed alot and enjoyed being around people and talkign with them. During my addiction, I became the total opposite and what is wierd, I never even realized it until I got the help I needed. I had always thought that I was acting the exact same way as usual; people were telling me that I was acting different; edgy, irritable and that I yelled ALOT. Again, once I started taking Suboxone, I realized the difference and now, I am back to normal. I am continuing to work on mending the relationships that I fractured and EVERYONE tells me that I am back to how I used to be a few years ago. I am starting to love my self again and I love life. GOD helped me and he can help your husband too. Print this off so he can read this, perhaps it iwll help him. I do wish him the BEST; and hope he does not dismiss this entry and "junk" and "meaningless". If he does, then thats his pills talking.
God Bless
MikeWithFamily

[feohmoon]

Unfortunately many doctors are at the root of alot of addictions.  Our bodies are designed to treat a fairly high amount of pain but we have all gotten use to masking that with narcotics.  Upon quitting the pills, there is a certain amount of pain to be expected from wd but once he begins healing, some or most of the pain will subside.  
There are many herbal and natural remedies that are very effective.
Perhaps you and your fiance could read some of the journal entried together.  In my journal I have posted some info on timing your taper and natural remedies...check it out.
Best of luck and continue posting.
Peace

[(Not so) Spunky]

Hhmm.. I actually am in the same situation as your boyfriend. I take Lyrica and had a 12 pill a day habit of oxycodone for back pain. I am now on day 2 of CT form the narc but I have upped my Lyrica dose which seems to be helping with WD symptoms.. How much Lyrica does he take a day? I upped mine from 200mg a day to 350mg. Of course I feel SUPER drunk, but other than that, the loss of energy is the only WD effect I feel so far. And that is probably doubled because the increase in Lyrica!! That may be an option- BUT TALK TO HIS DR FIRST!! I don't know his full situation so upping his Lyrica may not be an option. Most dr's would probably be in favor of that if it means decreasing narcotic use. HTH- Let us know how he's doing!!

[ohsosickntired]

have him read some of the posts on this site... there are many ways to quit the pain meds....but he has to be ready....it is a tough ride...