oxycontin and other opiates HELP!

[Ken]

I have been taking opiates for over two years now. I cant seem to stay clean! I have tried several times to get off of them to no avail.I have no insurance so inpatient is not an opption. I go to na and aa meetings but most of the time I lie and say how good I am doing. I am doing good at staying off of the crack cocaine but I have subsutited it with the opiates.Now I want to come clean and tell them what I've been doing, but I dont want to feel like a fool for lying to them all these months.I am tired of chasing pills to keep myself functioning. I have been taking everything from oxycondin to tylenol 3-4 to vicodin to lortab, or whatever I can get my hands on.I am tired.I want to stop but the withdrawels are hard. I make it past the initial detoxing but then I have no enegery to go on with everyday living. What can I take or do to function like a normal person.I need help! Please anyone with any input would be greatly appreciated. thank you KEN

[kraaguy]

Hey bud, coming clean is coming clean, you are 90% better then you were prior to quitting because now you are at least feeling a new feeling called guilt. Enjoy it we are there to help you, we have all been there, we all struggle, and we all Lie. We love you and know how hard it is, standing up and coming clean to get clean will help others around you. And yes, starting over is hard, but what you achieved so far you havnt earned, trust me it will feel better when you have earned it. As far as coming down? I quit from Oxi/Vodka aditction after in my life Fighting Heroin, Crank (Meth its called now), Methadone and anything else I could find Coming down off Oxi I suggest staying with NA/AA members, the first thirty days are bad, I  had DT Seizures and was hospitolized twice. The Shakes are horrible, but they go away, the second month the craving hits home worse then you will ever imagine, you will go mad, but it does taper and then you are angry all the time. That tapers too... my advice, Vitamin C,D, and A but keep flowing vitamine C into your body as fast as possible and stay with members as much as possible they can help if an emergency arises. I lived I made it and I am now 11 years 10 months 18 days clean and sober.

[aliceof3]

I appreciate all the info ,I am dealing with vicodin addiction and I want to stop so bad. I need guidance with coping with the mental and physical withdrawals,if anyone can give me some advice on tapering , I would greatly appreciate it

[ImDrugFree]

For everyone reading this forum, and is trying to quit opiates. I feel you trust me, but I am going to supply you with some information you are probably don't want to hear, meetings(been there done that ********, they made me want to do drugs more, after seeing how pathetic there speeches were). I haven't used any opiates since 2001, it's hard but you just have to step up, be a man quit, say your going to quit, look at yourself in the mirror and "Say look it, you ******* junkie, your are quitting whether you like it or not." I had relapses where I would want to go buy more, and I would start running as fast as I can until I couldnt run anymore, and pass out, by the time I woke up, the anxiety was usually gone. After about six months the relapses stopped, then I realized there was only one problem left, that would stop me from quitting, and the worst part of all, most of my friends were also junkies, I approached them one day and said, I am going this way, you can either follow or stay behind, but don't bother calling me or comming around me if you are high, and if you ever offer me this **** again, I will break your face. Too sum it up, withdrawl symptoms, anxiety, and all the other things that come with it, were not the hardest part, it was losing like half a dozen of my freinds who I had grown up with, I ran into one about a year ago, and he really looked like ****, I said WOW I am so god damn glad I quit, or I would look like him, I can now look at them and see how pathetic they are, I have moved on, I still enjoying many things sober, I have a job where I get random tested and its not a problem, I have gained so much confidence in myself, lost all suicidal tendencies and learned more about self control, destroying your inner beast, I am so confident that I go out and have a few drinks once or twice a month on the weekends, and I really enjoy that but once the nights over I rest sunday and I get back to work, you see part of the feeling was also that you think "man I am never going to be able to alter reality again?" "feel good?" and that was too much some people its all or nothing, but if you can learn to control yourself then down the road, I wouldnt recommend in the beginning go have a few drinks, take a few hits off a joint occassionally, find a good job, you will be able to get a better one most likely, since all the good ones these days to random testing, I use to see that drug waiver and quit on the spot, once you have some money, buy yourself things, keep yourself clean, get dressed up, try to pick up woman, or even get a girlfriend, travel, see the world, theres alot more out there than you can imagine in a dark room, dark life, where you never see the sunshine, I am living proof of there being light at the end of the tunnel!!!!!!! Believe in yourself, become skitzo talk to yourself in third person, yell at yourself until you discipline yourself. PS Martial Arts are better than AA meetings!!!!

[opi]

i did not make it........fook!..........trying again...i'm fighting the self loathing feeling...almost feel like a loser...thx for your input.....i did some thinking and i have been abusing something or another for 25 years......had a couple sober years....not even herb...<---that is amazing....i hate online **** but have found this helpfull and i am very private(only my junky buds know the real deal)....keep an eye out for my post cuz as i said it helps to talk about it(type)....thinking about finding na meet to go to....hear some real bad *** stories and see where i don't want to be.....it would be different if i did not have 10 plus serious injuries/surgeries.....i don't know anymore....i've quit all drugs in past but the opiates have got me bad.....well...at least i am still employed   :) peace man....thx

[No name22]

Honestly I understand you 100% I was going to tell my dr. today and then didn't, because I needed my clonipins filled early, because someone stole them and I didn't think he'd believe me so I bought sub.'s off a friend...There are soooooo many clinics just type in suboxone clinics and you can put in a zip code.

[opi]

i don't want to put myself out there,,,,have been a closet junkie for a long time and do not want peeps to know...i am a 40 ear old father of one and know  a lot of peeps and  would like to remain closeted...if things get horrible i will drive to next city for this kind of help...the wife has no mercy...she think you just stop.....i've been trying this for a long time but now i have everything to lose and feel that i deserve what is here and comming...if all goes bad,i will go to my fam doc and fess up and see what he thinks.....that alone would be a major step for me...i don't like to admit stuff
to anyone(i did to wife though)

[No name22]

Since you're quiting why don't you try to contact some suboxone clincs, because it's going to be hell w/out anything i was wiggen out.

[No name22]

BELIEVE ME!!! I was doing 120mg's a day...It's honestly not worth it I make alot of money and since my addiction i've been broke spent THOUSANDS of dollars so no more vaca's gucci, louie, dior ect.. no nothing, but debt which i'm going to file BR and misery.

[opi]

lol...noticed the date,,,,i just needed to type sumtin man,,,,,,i'm cracking up.....this sucks....as soon i stop doi sumtin the brain sends me to a bad place and the battle is to fierce to do 24 hrs a day//////stay pre occupied....i broke my last 3 days into 1    80 and then stopped,,,just don't know if i'm guna make it....if i have a hickup i will try again until i'm well again...it's been a few years with oxy's but many years with perks and stuff...it's just to good...i fuckin hate it

[No name22]

WOW that many and you're clean...GOOD FOR YOU!!!! I tappered down to 30 mg's a day and today I traded my 80 oc for 8 8mg suboxone and now it's just me getting off 100% You have to do it for yourself and just to be normal again, because you don't know what you look like on drugs **** I barely remember this yr...


Oh and you're posting to a post from 2000

[opi]

i am 48 hours clean........3-6   80's a day (oxy's)....i thought i had it together and people fooled but my wife said a bunch of things and ended it with "and this is why i know"..everything she said was true...i was blown away....yesyerday was a living hell...i have an oxy with my cofffee everyday and this starts my engine....i could barely get up the stairs to barf....today was(is) bad...when my brain wanders into oxyland i start to gag...anyway i've been reading your posts and it has helped.i don't know anyone that knows what it's like....i think i can win the battle(i fought myself for hours this eve to not go and score) but i am worried about the war...i think to to the future and it scares me..i am trying to see the future without any opiates as a great thing but the ox in my head is messing with me bad....anyway thanks,,,,it's nice to know i'm not the only freaker around....peace

[Brian to Sick and Scared]

You are asking some good questions and should be proud of yourself.  You have taken the first step by looking inward and asking yourself and others what to do.  First, you admit the opiates are having a negative effect on your social life.  But, you also say you have some real pain issues.  You need to ask yourself, do I really NEED the opiates for the pain, or is there a better way to control the pain.  Have you tried other treatments (such as accupuncture, massage, yoga, etc.), these often provide great pain relief.  Also, can you cut back your dosage and only take it when you truly need it?  If not, do you have someone you trust who can administer them to you when needed (the "J.B." approach).  This can work well.  It is really a balancing test.  Balance the positives of the opiate (pain relief and "buzz") vs. negatives (social problems, tolerance...).  Then decide what is best for you.  No easy answer because you do have real pain.  BUT, when the meds are causing more problems than they are helping, I think you may have your answer.  Good luck and please post and let us know what you decide. Brian

[steve]

wow,this is sort of my first step.  I have not really admitted
that these pills have an effect on my life until recently.  I do
not have the usage many of you have (2-3oxy 20s and a 750vic is
my usual dosage)but I am very scared.  I don't have nearly as much fun in my life as I use to.  It seems I would rather take
an oxy and sit around the house with my buzz than be around other
people including my friends.  Will I truly feel better when I kick the habit?  Maybe that is what scares me the most.  Also, I have had several shoulder operations and am a nationally ranked
amateur golfer.  What do I do on those cool mornings when my shoulder feels like it has been shot?  Sorry I am asking questions.  Not my intentions.  I want everyone to know that
I am praying for you and you are strong enough.  Remember, the Lord only gives you what you are capable of handling.  Apparently
he has a lot of faith in all of you.Good Luck.  Steve

[Deez Nuts]

You snort your ****????  What the **** is wrong with you??  You should ALWAYS smoke them.  :-)  Yeah HOE!

[louis]

I came across this website for research for a paper I am doing on physican drug abuse and I thought I would write something. Pills at one time ruled my life. Whether it was Percocet(my fav), vicodin,darvocet, talwin, demerol, or morphine I had to have a narcotic and I had to have it every day. It got to the point that my life was so unmanageable after 3 rehabs(which is soon for some) loss of touch with family, almost loss of job--the list goes on ad infinitum. I finally came to the point where I knew I wanted to stop but I couldn't and I thought I was crazy! My third reham introduced me to AA and at that point I would do anythinh so I got a sponsor and went to some meetings. Keeping in mind I had tried this before to no avail because I was not ready. Well, fortunately, I got a sponsor who was so intop the BIG BOOK of AA and the steps which are in the BB in clear cut directions. I went through the steps and my life was never the same . Just my expierence.

[Carrie]

HAVE YOU TRIED METHADONE MAITNENCE? I AM GOING TO START THAT SOON. THE SICKNESS IS AWFUL, I HERE THAT THIS METHADONE REALLY HELPS AND THEY GIVE YOU YOUR DAILY DOSE. SO YOU CAN NOT OVER USE IT. (WE HAVE PROVEN OURSELVES IRRESPONSIBLE) AFTER 30 DAYS THEY GIVE YOU A COUPLE OF DAYS WORTH AT A TIME AND THEN THEY CAN HELP YOU GET OFF THAT. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY THAT I CAN SEE MYSELF OUT OF THIS MESS. LET YOU KNOW IF IT WORKS...... I AM PRAYING THAT IT WILL.

[Ryan]

Hi
I have been on hydrocodine for around two years now.  All of you seem to be eating the pills.  I snort them into my nose.  At first it was only to get tore up but now I cant seem to stop.  If I do my nose hurts and so does my throat.  I haven't been w/out pills for a day in two years.  I heard methadone can help you stop a pill habit is there any truth in it. I cant seem to go more than about 2 hours before my throat begins to hurt.  I really want to stop.  I have been trying to cut down from 10 a day one week to 9 next week 8 next week.....Is this a good way or not?  I am begging for help.  My parents do not know so can I get help w/out them knowing?

Ryan

[loanne]

man, it feels so good to read these posts and know that i am not alone.  my husband just got a script for vicodan from his dentist, and i'm fiending!!!  i have exactly enuf percs to accomplish my tapering schedule, and i haven't touched his script....yet.  i truly believe that i won't, because i want my sobriety back very badly.  can anyone tell me, (cuz my dr. if iffy about answering this), i'm down to 1 and 1/4 percs per day.  when i finally get down to 1/2 i'm supposed to quit totaly.  is kicking 1/2 perc a day gonna be hard?  i expect it to be ok, but am i just kidding myself?  so i have to go thru hell again?  please someone, answer this question honestly. thanks.

[Mariah to Tom]

Hey!  27 years?!!  How did you ever do it???  I've only been going through this heavy for about 11 months & it's horrible!  You are the man!!!  I noticed that a question hasn't been answered in awhile, after I asked mine & I got to wondering.  This is crazy!!!  WHERE'S THE DOC?!!!  he-he  You think they can hear me?  Talk to you later, thank you for everything.  
Mariah  :)

[Angie to Ken]

I can so totally relate to going into other peoples cabinets for their meds. My job is such that I was required to make home visits and to inquire about the meds they were on. I am so ASHAMED to say that this worked quite well for a while especially since I was so trusted and I used to get such a rush when left the premises after copping. Then I would be good for another few days. I remember rationalizing that I needed them more since I would get sick if I didn't have them. Besides I was helping them not to get hooked. Can you imagine I used to buy this line of ****. Anyway that's been around 5 months ago, since I got clean. My mind will still wander whenever I am in someones house. In case your wondering I did get caught but not because of the people I had to visit, but my boss figured out I had a problem with pain pills and put that together with my home visits. When she sent the nurse out to check the meds where I had been they all came up short. Getting into trouble legally was my bottom!!! Now I do not work around narcotics. Probation mandated!!! I am so glad cause I'm not sure I could come face to face with those great little pills and say no. Good Luck, Ken.

[Al to Michael]

Ken, What is the longest clean time you have had from oxy since gtting hooked? Just wandering how you felt after a streatch of clean time.

[Ken , day two]

Hi Al, I haven't had much clean time.Acouple of times I have had 3 or 4 days, but I have had a hard time.It's not easy for me. I cant stand to feel so helpless for days on end.I own a drrwall business and its hard to just stop running a business so you can detox. But if I dont soon I will not have a business anymore.People dont want a junkie in their houses going through their medicine cabinets. And that is what it comes down to when you run low on drugs. I have never been a thief before in my life, and I cant stand them myself, but when you have no drugs for your habit thats what you become. And I am ashamed to admit,I have takin other peoples pain meds out of their house.So its getting bad ,and its time for me to quit. Even if it means that I lose business. I will check back later.

[Mariah to Tom]

Hey!  Thanks for all the good advise & support.  I did great yesterday & I was so proud of myself.  I took 4 all day & all night!  I just had to keep myself occupied.  With a 3 year old, that isn't hard to do!  I can't believe I went the whole day without getting high!  I never thought that to be possible!  I have you, will power & love for my baby to thank for that!  I don't use any other kind of drug & I never drink, not even when I'm not pregnant.  Thank God is right!  That was so encouraging to hear someone else say that my baby is OK & at least I'm not taking something that would hurt the baby.  I thank you for that.  My heart is telling me my baby is going to be fine, but I read all the things about drugs & pregnancy on here & I start worrying again.  I'm up all night sometimes, just worrying.  (especially when I would take a couple)  I pray everyday, sometimes all day.  I want to thank you for helping me, it's really working.  I hope I can go all the way.  I get on here & read when I start wanting to get high.  Some people think just because your pregnant that "feeling" goes away.  It's so hard.  If I thought that I was just going to hurt myself during labor & that my baby would not be effected at all, I wouldn't care.  I hope if something does happen, it happens to me!  But, I'm gonna stay on track & hopefully everything will be OK!  I put a question on here today.  (the same one)  Will a doctor answer me?  You are so sweet getting on here & trying to help all of us druggies!  So, I just wanted to say, thank you!  Mariah  :)

[Ken ,trying again!]

Well its that time again,time to quit. Tomorrow is gonna be day one for me again. I've said it before, but at least I'm gonna try.The kids went home and the school shopping is done.So I'm gonna try one more time.I've only had 2 pills today and I dont feel to bad,so maybe it wont be too bad.Tomorrow I am supposed to work but I own the company so I guess I can miss a few days.I am planning to take a vacation anyways.It just wont be a very fun one.I just hope it will be different this time.So I will check back in tomorrow and let you all know how its going.I detoxed last weekend, so maybe it wont be as hard this week. Damn I hate this ****.Looking forward to any replies from anyone who can help. Thanks, KEN