please, looking for support

[shelby001]

hi all, i relapsed a couple of times, i'm trying to get back on track.  today is day 2 for me and i'm having one hell of a time.  i'm basically a single mom (stay at home) and my two year old just threw a major tantrum, screaming at the top of her lungs, i just broke down, can't stop crying.  crying was never a wd symptom before.  i want so bad to be done with this ****, and i'm giving it my best shot.  tomorrow i look into na here in my small town.  i've avoided it before because of the size of the place i live in, everyone knows everyone, but i can't go through this again.
good thing is i don't have a dealer, and i've used up all my docs.  i do feel stronger emotionally this time so i know that is a plus but i'm really down today
thanks for any support!!

[shelby001]

thanks everyone, it really helps to know i'm not really alone in this journey.  great post Ga Guy, great point, your counselor sure hit the nail on the head with that remark!  i'll remember that for a long time.
mom of two, it's difficult to wd with little ones around but there are plusses too it, you HAVE to take care of them which in turns keeps you moving and your mind off things for a bit.  thanks for the support.
i'm feeling a little better just talking on this site, the tears have stopped at least.  think i'll get outside with the girls and kick the ball around or get on the swings.  life is good, i know it is, i just want to be happy!!!

[rod44]

When you are using or drunk you don’t care who sees you, hold your head high as you are trying to deal with your problem.
The hardest part of recovery is dealing with the emotional and mental issues. This is why honesty is important, you need to get honest with your self  and admit when you have a problem, start by admitting this yourself. You cant fix it if you don’t recognise the problem.
This is the first step in recovery
You can do this.

[mom_of_two136]

I just wanted to send some prayers your way. You have two little girls that really need you. Sounds like you really have your priorities straight and know how important this is to do. That is often the biggest step. Just keep remembering that the worst will be over with by the weekend, as far as physical symptoms (5-7 days usually). I know what you mean about going to NA in a small town. I actually go to a AA group that is alittle further away just for the same reasons. I know the support really helped me. From one mom to another, I know how hard it is to take care of children when going through WD. Stay strong and keep remembering why you are doing this. Best Wishes

[GA Guy]

I told my counselor at my rehab that I couldn't do AAor NA because I lived in a small town and my job couldn't be jeopardized by being seen there. He told me that it didn't bother me to go around town high as hell and acting like a total ***. It also didn't bother me if I had overdosed and the whole town knew I was an addict at my funeral. It's crazy now that I look back at it. I am now a proud member of AA and NA. I have actually gained business since I became a member. I don't advertise my addiction, and nobody there will advertise yours. Please, go and see if it suits you. It can save your life.

[shelby001]

thanks avisg, i need all the support i can get right now.  i'm still really weepy, strange for me.  we haven't lived in this new town long and i do not have any support here.  i may head down to my moms house in the next couple of days (2hr drive) just so i have someone around (besides my twin two year olds)  i'm determined, i want to be around for my daughters, they are giving me inspiration.  i don't want to die from liver damage (i've used for over 6 years)
thanks for any kind words

[avisg]

You can do this its great that you have figured out the way you have been doing this is not working if you keep relapsing .Just remember if you happen to see someone you know at na they are there for the same reason you are so most likely would keep it confidential .Continue to post so we can be here to help.
avis