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please help me

I am a 37 yr old female. I am a single mother of a 13 yr old boy. My parents died (murder,suicide) when I was just 14. I have no extended family. My son's father is in a different state and has no contact with us at all. I couldn't even find him if I tried. My problem is that I have borederline personality disorder, I am bipolar, and I have lupus. I have prided myself on relying solely upon myself and I must say that I have done quite well for the most part. 9 years ago I made the worst mistake of my life by getting involved in a relationship with a man who owns a few well established businesses with a very well to do income. He got me into cocaine...BAD MOVE on my part...we were married 2 years later. We have been married for 7 years. I do cocaine every day of my life. He still lives with the mother of his kids whom he was never married to because he says his 21 year old daughter, who at 12, didn't get along with my, then 4 yr old son, will run away if he moves in with me..so he comes every morning and leaves cocaine at my bedside....he feeds me when I wake then gives me cocaine til he leaves at 7pm, then he leaves me a pile of cocaine to get through the night. I am in no physical condition to work, I can no longer care for myself and I have gone over the edge many times......I have LITERALLY BEGGED HIM....not to give me anymore cocaine....I have BEGGED to go to REHAB.....We have no medical insurance, so I have been dealing with my lupus and mental illnesses on my own.......I don't know what to do...If I was handed a miracle of being able to get medical attention and rehabilitation..I am faced with another dilemma...no one to care for my son while I recover....I do not want him in foster care....I refuse that as an option.....HELP ME PLEASE..............I have lost my independence, my confidence, my beauty, and my will to live...... ALL OF MY CRIES HAVE FALLEN UPON DEAF EARS............................
42 Responses
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Avatar universal
So lets talk
Helpful - 0
306867 tn?1299249709
I'm am so sorry for your situation my heart is breaking for you. I think what you need is a complete plan. One that is set up so when you tell this man to get out of your life you will be alright. I have a friend that has lupus and had to stop working also. Your are most definatley eligble for disability. Also you are legally married to this man ?  He has been your sole provider ? See an attorney on the sly , you could actually come out of this a wealthy women. Divorce laws are different state to state so check into this.  Start stock piling any money you can get your hands on. I am asuming that you are willing to end your relationship with him to get clean and free of that lifestyle. Doesnt sound like a very healthy one if he lives with his xwife. Do you have any friends that could help?  Because once you know you can make it without this man, you will need to detox and thats the hard part. I dont know what coke addiction is like . I am a pain pill addict , but i'm sure someone here will be able to tell you about detox from coke.  Hang in there, and write me back. I'm sure all the wonderful people here will come up with some good plans for you.  Keep reading and stay with this site.  My thoughts are with you.
Helpful - 0
273135 tn?1195006870
hey there ... i read your post and your situation is f*cked up! ... as you are well aware.  Does he also do coke?  Can you find somewhere else to stay to get away from this?  there are shelters you can go to ... what state do you live in?  YOu need to get online and find out what kind of assistance you can get as far as medical and substance abuse ... how serious are you about getting help?  are you willing to leave him?  if you're married to him and he does not live w/you - that is just not right ... makes no sense ... sounds kinda fishy too ...
pls come back on here and respond so we can try to help you some .. or at least guide you in the right direction .. take care of yourself and your son ..you need to put him first and think about what this is doing to him ... i know you wouldn't want him to be an addict as i wouldn't want my kids to be ... thats why i got help and you need to get help too ... please ... traci
Helpful - 0
280102 tn?1208877222
Listen.....  You need to be locked up, I see it as the only way.  Are you strong enough not to reach for the straw or flush the cocaine down the toilet, and tell this guy to leave you alone?  If not then you need to be locked up for a little while.  You are hooked and your son will suffer if/when your cocaine addiction kills you.  this man doesn't love or respect you.  Get some help, Go to rehab,  you could even put your son in foster care if you needed to, unless you have other family that will take care of him.    It is possible for you and your son to live a happy, beautiful drug free life.  there is a light at the end of the tunnel, you just need to look way down deep inside of yourself, and grab that person that used to be strong, jerk her up and let her tell you what to do.  If not now WHEN?????????????????????
Helpful - 0
214607 tn?1287677559
Are you serious?????
Helpful - 0
280102 tn?1208877222
If she's in a lock-down facility, she can't get any coke....
Helpful - 0
214607 tn?1287677559
So would you say that all addicts need to be in a "lock-down" facility in order to get help?
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Avatar universal
some things just need be left to the professionals...........







Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
In the words of the Great MC Hammer.............."Can't touch this"  I think is was MC or tone loc?

nauty...............
Helpful - 0
214607 tn?1287677559
So let me get this straight, I am the only one that thinks locking this girl up is not appropriate? This girl obviously is in desperate need of help, and locking her up is what is going to help her? And what will become of her son? She has deep issues. The mere fact that she thinks it is ok for her husband to live with another woman is proof enough that she is severely depressed. What kind of environmental could this little boy be living in. Yes, she needs professional help, but no, she doesn't need to be locked up. It seems she has no one to turn to or she would have already. I can't even begin to think how to help this woman. But it seems as though she isn't going to get the help she so desperately needs from us.

This is so crazy.

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am with you 100%  I'm  never afraid to answer a post.......this one is very disturbing to me ......but, i so agree with you.......

Nauty...........
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
     I don't want to be out of line at all, but considering all angles I have to ask.  Has anyone considered that this story is at all fabricated and everyone's getting all pissy at each other for no real reason.  I have yet to see Unheard70 post a reply and that in itself seems a bit suspicious for someone who is so desperate that they post the same thing 7-8 times.  I do not in anyway mean to undermind the problems this person is having, just thought that maybe we should consider this before we eat each others lunch.
Helpful - 0
214607 tn?1287677559
I just think this woman is bad and in desperate need of a BOAT LOAD of help. And this is her reaching out for some sort of help. I'd hate to see her turn away because she is being told she may need to be locked up??? I mean, come on....

Hope you are good my dear!!!

xo, Lisa
Helpful - 0
214607 tn?1287677559
Actually, to be honest, I too thought something was a little fishy about the story. I am not at all saying it is a lie, but it seemed odd to me that it was posted so many times. Maybe she really wanted to be heard (read) and answered, but maybe she didn't know how to work the forum. It can be a little confusing at first. But you are right, she didn't respond. But either way, we have to treat every post as being honest and real. We can't turn anyone away who is asking for help. So real or fake, I am going to try and help.

xo
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yes ! lock her up and throw away the key!...Better yet I need to diet so lock me up so I won't be able to over eat!!


Sounds ridiuclous doesn't it
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
   I understand... I just hate to see people anywhere getting on each other when it deviates from the goal of helping this person... I was just trying to put everything in perspective.
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214607 tn?1287677559
Shattered....lol....THANK YOU....


lmnop....Honey, not at all did I mean to come off mean to you. I totally understand what you meant and I agree to an extent....It is pathetic that you never know with this forum.....

xo, hope all is well...

xo
Helpful - 0
214607 tn?1287677559
Ya see, this is what really  chapps my ***, why do some people come here and put their two cents into things and then not back it up. Now, this girl is on obvious, desperate need of serious help on many different levels. She knows she needs help and wants help or wouldn't have come here and asked for it. If one of us were told we needed to be locked up when we first came here, would you keep coming on and posting? I know that when I came here I was accepted, no questions asked. ANd I have made many friends over the last 8 months and if not for some of these people I wouldn't be where I am now. I don't see how hurting or scaring this woman more is going to help her. Yes, she needs to leave the guy, but we are not relationship counselors and yes, she needs to get professional help for her mental state, but we are not psychiatrists and she DEFINITELY needs professional help for her serious addiction, and although we are not N/A or addiction counselors, we are educated enough as a "COLLECTIVE GROUP", to friggin help this woman a little....A LITTLE.... if nothing at all.....I mean, my goodness. Has the demeanor of this forum changed so much that we can't look past all the bickering to help this woman.....
Helpful - 0
271792 tn?1334979657
Is anyone paying attention? What? Like 17 posts here...NO response from the person who posted...let's move on folks..what do you say?

Imagine if you were the person who posted, and you walked away for a day, then came back, and you saw this???? This is sad........

Who the hell are we to judge if this is real or not? Let's pretend it is....

When I came here..I was lost, confused..it was YOU folks who guided me..

Where are you now???????

I am disgusted.
Helpful - 0
280102 tn?1208877222
What is so bad about suggesting rehab?  OMG!
Helpful - 0
280102 tn?1208877222
just used the wrong word that's all
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Avatar universal
no, you suggested she should be "locked up."  that's not the same as suggesting "rehab."
Helpful - 0
280102 tn?1208877222
And if you guys read what I wrote, i also asked her if she was stong enough to do it w/out rehab... Is she strong enough to flush it and tell him to quit giving it to her?  some of you guys are too hard on people that just want to help.  It's called tough love.  I hope she is strong enough w/out rehab, but the story didn't seem like it to me, and her post led me to suggest a more drastic option.  She even said she wanted to go to rehab!  but if you guys are going to shun me, maybe I'll just take my *** outta here.  Thanks for all the help guys
Helpful - 0
214607 tn?1287677559
I agree with you, she does not sound strong enough to flush anything away to turn her husband away. But she came here for help. Regardless of how bad her situation is, she didn't need to be told that she should be locked up. And if it was Rehab you were suggesting, and WE got it mixed up, why on earth would you refer to it as being "Locked up"??????? The woman is scared as it is, so referring to rehab as being locked up is supposed to help her??? That is far beyond touch love. Spare me the pity party....no one is shunning you.....



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