recovering addict husband still on so many meds

[twinkledeb]

hi
I am wondering if anybody is familiar with this problem. My husband was a xanax and ambian and i think tylenol with codeine  addict 4 years ago. he refused to go into a "rehab facility" and went to a doctor who specializes in addicts instead. she had wanted him to go into one but he would not she also wanted him to go to a therapist and a 12 step program but he refused and has only been seeing  her for the past 4 years. he is off the drugs he was using but is on Effexor, amphetamine salt, clonazepam, adderall and klonopolin. is it normal to be on all those meds? i looked them up online and most are stimulants. he also is not the same since the addiction started. it's as though he has some strange mental illness or mania he cant speak clearly sometimes or finish sentances and he stays at work for days straight. anyway i hope somebody out there can help me
sorry for babbling
twinkle

[paulfan1]

helloooooo....
read what CATUF wrote
the blaming his problem on work, worries and bills.
pretty amazing.
do something for yourself
you've been thru hell

[twinkledeb]

hi guys thanks so much for answering me. it really means a lot that other people understand what i am going through. anyway i truly believe that he is not using other drugs besides the adderall, effexor, clonopin klonopolin, and amphetimine salt. does anyone out there know if these are typical drugs prescribed to an addict? it seems like an awful amount of meds to me. the past couple of years in my marriage have been very strained as you can imagine and i want out. he is perfectly happy staying married even though we dont speak or go anywere together. i forgot to mention that we have FIVE children. he thinks i am the bad one!!!
please help
twinkle

[dyblue]

  As harsh as that is I have to agree.  One has to take care o themselves .  Thats the botton line . He's not recovering at the moment with all those drugs specially the adderal and amph salt and klonopin all real addictive substances less is more when it comes to meds.

[CATUF]

I hate it when that happens.

[CATUF]

My wife thought I was literally going insane before she found out I that it was "only drugs."  I kept my addiction pretty well hidden until the end and "blamed" everything she b'd about on the pressures of work and her being too damn worried about everything.

To be fair, I don't know all that much about the meds you say he's on.  However, those meds and staying "at work for days straight" sound funny to me.  Are you sure he hasn't graduated to crystal meth or coke?  I had a hidden drug habit for years, but I didn't start staying at work for days straight until after I started smoking meth and crack cocaine.  When I was "just" snorting meth and powdered-coke, I was good for the occasional all-nighter at the office.  But smoking that stuff took it to a whole new level.

Given that he previously refused rehab and meetings even though his doc recommended the same, I doubt he'd agree to testing - but you might try anyway.  If he's anything like me or other addicts I know, he'll lie about using if he's in active addiction.  One of my favorite sayings from my days (122 of 'em) in rehab is "dogs bark, fish swim and addicts lie."  I was a very honest guy about everything, EXCEPT anything that was related to my using - there it seemed as if I was free to lie -- no, duty bound to lie -- because most of the world wouldn't understand - they would think it was bad and try to make me stop.  They just couldn't see that I NEEDED my drugs and that I would DIE without them (or be in such an awful state that I wished for death).

Anyway, random testing at home has been a part of my Recovery since I got back from rehab in 10/05.  I don't think I would have made it without the testing.  There would have been too many times that I could have bought in to the BIG LIE -- that it would be OK to use "just a little," because I was going to use "just this once."  With the frequent, but random, testing I was safe from that lie, because any use would have been detected and that would have been the end of life in the family home, with the kids, etc.  My tough-as-nails (when it comes to our common enemy of addiction) wife has me on a one-strike-rule and I thank God for that.  My best friend has the same rule at work, where he is the managing partner of my firm.

I think it's accurate to think of the addiction as something wholly separate and apart from the addict (although the two become intertwined during active addiction in a manner that seems hopeless).  The addict may (or may not) be a great person.  The addiction never is.  I think of the addiction as being a combonitation of two things: 1) a big, hungry reptile and 2) a Terminator that has been programed to kill me via active addiction.  Completely without permission, I have adapted one of Reese's lines about the Big-T to describe the Big-A:

[woozy]

My husband is on all of those medications too!! What's his name?? just kidding. Well, you mentioned the generic and brand names of two meds. Adderall is mixed amphetamine salts and klonipin is clonazepam. It is a lot of medication. I can empathasize with what you are going through. It's better though, than taking illegal drugs and not being under a doctor's care. It does sound like he could be abusing the drugs though, mainly the Adderall.But  Adderall has been documented to trigger mania also and just about all the antidepressants can do it too, if you are manic depressive. If he is, in fact, manic..he most likely won't recognize that something's wrong and you will have to be the one to intervene. Talk to him first, express your concern about his sleeping habits,etc..then maybe have a word with his doctor. You'll most likely REALLY make him mad but it sounds like he needs help and he will thank you in the long run.. --note if he were abusing the adderall, he would probably be running out of it all the time..Good luck to you..

[road2recovery]

i have  a friend and her husband stays at work all night and does that all the time, she said he never sleeps..Then she found his bottle of adderal..That is not a good drug unless you truly need it.
hope that helps alittle

[CATUF]

My wife thought I was literally going insane before she found out I that it was "only drugs."  I kept my addiction pretty well hidden until the end and "blamed" everything she b'd about on the pressures of work and her being too damn worried about everything.

To be fair, I don't know all that much about the meds you say he's on.  However, those meds and staying "at work for days straight" sound funny to me.  Are you sure he hasn't graduated to crystal meth or coke?  I had a hidden drug habit for years, but I didn't start staying at work for days straight until after I started smoking meth and crack cocaine.  When I was "just" snorting meth and powdered-coke, I was good for the occasional all-nighter at the office.  But smoking that stuff took it to a whole new level.

Given that he previously refused rehab and meetings even though his doc recommended the same, I doubt he'd agree to testing - but you might try anyway.  If he's anything like me or other addicts I know, he'll lie about using if he's in active addiction.  One of my favorite sayings from my days (122 of 'em) in rehab is "dogs bark, fish swim and addicts lie."  I was a very honest guy about everything, EXCEPT anything that was related to my using - there it seemed as if I was free to lie -- no, duty bound to lie -- because most of the world wouldn't understand - they would think it was bad and try to make me stop.  They just couldn't see that I NEEDED my drugs and that I would DIE without them (or be in such an awful state that I wished for death).

Anyway, random testing at home has been a part of my Recovery since I got back from rehab in 10/05.  I don't think I would have made it without the testing.  There would have been too many times that I could have bought in to the BIG LIE -- that it would be OK to use "just a little," because I was going to use "just this once."  With the frequent, but random, testing I was safe from that lie, because any use would have been detected and that would have been the end of life in the family home, with the kids, etc.  My tough-as-nails (when it comes to our common enemy of addiction) wife has me on a one-strike-rule and I thank God for that.  My best friend has the same rule at work, where he is the managing partner of my firm.

I think it's accurate to think of the addiction as something wholly separate and apart from the addict (although the two become intertwined during active addiction in a manner that seems hopeless).  The addict may (or may not) be a great person.  The addiction never is.  I think of the addiction as being a combonitation of two things: 1) a big, hungry reptile and 2) a Terminator that has been programed to kill me via active addiction.  Completely without permission, I have adapted one of Reese's lines about the Big-T to describe the Big-A:

[peekawho]

So, he refused to do any real work on his problem with a therapist or a program, and is now addicted to a new set of drugs?  
He hasn't yet started any recovery, it would seem.  

What are you doing for yourself?  I hope you are in some sort of therapy.   You need to make some choices for yourself, and work on your future.  Good luck.