relationships

[JJ404]

My son is a crack head.  He has tried rehab, counseling, group counseling etc.  He has tried to quite on his own.  He was doing good until he got involved with a girl.  Girl moved in with him and he started back on binges.  This girl is 22, 12 years younger and thinks she can help him.  She did help him relapse.  He had me handle his money and keep his vehicle away from him while he was trying to rehab.  With the girl move in he need a vechile and money because I did not approve of the relationship.

Should a person trying to rehab get into a relationship?  I have always heard they need to be free for 12 - 18 months before getting involved.

Thanks,

[gizzy32]

your absolutely right. he should not be in this relationship, it's doing more harm than good.  he can beat this addiction, but with crack it's going to be a hell of a battle. he does not need to be with anyone right now, and if she loves him she should let him go until he's better.  i don't know what i can tell you, can you talk to him, somehow convince him, i know it's hard. crack destroys lives, ive been around it lots, never done it. i snorted coke for 5 years and ill be clean 3 months next week so there is hope. wish you the best of luck.

[JJ404]

I'm pretty sure she does not use.  They both stayed with me until the romance started.
My disapproval is why he took her to his home.  That started his relalpse - access to money and alone with his vehicle and things to sell for drugs.   He does not need anyone to drug with him - he always goes off on a binge to a drug house.  I'm afraid he owed the dealer a lot of money so we won't see the car again. He lost his vehicle to drug dealer this last week-end.  

I felt like he needed to get rehabilitated so he could take care of himself and his children and get a job.  The girl friend is 12 years younger and running away from her controlling parents.   He's 34.  So now he leaves his children to be with girfriend.  

[gizzy32]

there is no rule about being in a relationship when rehabbing, etc, but in my opinion your son should only be worrying about recovery right now and you said this girl helped him to relapse so obviously this is not helping. yes they do say wait a year before being in a relationship, but i really don't think there should be a time limit. i think when the person is ready, but sometimes it does take a year.

they should be spending time apart because crack addition is serious business. i know many who lost everything to this drug, they lie, cheat, steal, and do whatever it takes to keep feeding the addiction. your son is ill right now and needs help.

are you 100% positive his girlfriend does not use?