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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
32.1k Members
1406756 tn?1281324793

rollercoaster

this freaking is such a huge rollercoaster. it throws u from loop to the next. never knowing what is too come next. im so sick of this struggle between high and sober. my father is a preacher. and is constantly reminding us of his reputation he has to uphold. bullcrap. i always felt as if something was missing in my life till the first time i snorted roxie 30. ever since that day i felt as if i was untouchable. i got better grades. and even performed better on the cheer court. everything was perfect.........ha i thought. i spent my half of my 20 000 dollar scholarships on them. this addiction is out of control. but idk what to do. i might be high but atleast im happy.......right? thats the may goal of life they say....idk. im so confused. i have an amazing boyfriend. and for two years he has no clue of my addiction an he would absolutely horrifed if he were to find out. this is the most confusing puzzle ive ever had to complete....
4 Responses
1253584 tn?1332881554
Ur story sounds kinda like mine! I was withny fiancé for about the same amount of time and never told him until I seek treatment. When i told him he had alaready knew. He knew I would figure out a way to fix it....I did every pill imaginable from perks to oxycontin 80 mgs. I thought I was happy and living life. I needed them to do everything! To breath to take a shower to walk down the steps. it wasn't until I got clean that I realized I wasn't living life! Man I'm living my life to the fullest now and couldn't be happier. I compare my life now to my addiction and it is so much better. I'm not n a fog nemore and I'm well aware of what's going on around me. My relationship couldn't ne going ne better. Have u ever thought about getting ne kind of help? Maybe see an addiction speacialist? I can't tell how much of a big help it has played n my recovery.
1406756 tn?1281324793
welll when i was 17 i went to a facilty where i did my detox and my parents put me on suboxine. which sucked. soo i eventually found ways around it. which is very dangerous. it took me about a week to figure out the timing of everything. im really alone in this. and im soooo scared of the withdrawals....
1047946 tn?1332611629
So sorry you too have to deal with the lifelong battle of addiction. So many people deal with it. People that you wouldn't think have a problem with pills do. The wonderful thing is that you realize and admit that you have a problem. That is the first and one of the most important steps in getting clean. You have to want it more than anything and fight like crazy and go and get it.
You have a couple of options here. You can go cold turkey and in about a week you will start to feel better by the day. Or, you could try and taper. If you decide to try and taper you need to stop snorting and just take them orally. Then you will need to cut your dose back every 5 days or so.
There are some things that can help with the withdrawals. In the health pages, which you will see a link in the upper right hand side of the screen, you can find the amino acid protocol. It lists a bunch of amino acids and supplements that can help heal the mind and body a bit faster. They really do help. You want to also make sure you are pushing the fluids, eating healthy, and exercising. I can't stress the exercise enough. I have been through withdrawals where I laid around and felt sorry for myself and I have stayed busy and exercised. I once even worked 80 hour weeks while coming off a high amount of oxy. Although it was tough it was one of the easiest withdrawals I went through. It can be hard to muster up the energy to exercise, but force yourself even if it's just a walk around the block.
Try and do things to keep your mind distracted. Watch some funny movies, do some puzzles, listen to music. Just do things that you enjoy.
You may be surprised about your boyfriend. He may be there to support you and help you get clean. It helps so much to have support from loved ones. We will be here to support you and help you succeed.
So, decide which route you want to take. Get a piece of paper and write down a plan. It makes it easier seeing what you have to do and making goals for yourself. Be sure to stick around this forum and post often. It helps so much. I've seen hundreds of people say they couldn't have made it without the help from all of the wonderful people on here. It also helps to look back and remember the fight you fought so you wont put yourself through it again. You could be clean for a year and all it takes is one pill to start the vicious cycle again.
Just hang in there. Many have been where you are at and many have made it.
You will too.
Best of luck!
Brian
1253584 tn?1332881554
Bmdad have some good advice !!! I was a lost cause and I'm here today clean at 44 days. When people look at me they probally would never guess I am addict. There r alot of natural ways of helping out ir wds. There r alot of resources here.
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