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1448936 tn?1363209946

scared right now.

My anxiety has gotten pretty bad the past few days and I've had to take xanax for the past 3 days. I don't want to get addicted again but unfortunately its all I have to control my anxiety until nov 17th when I see my dr again to try and find a non benzo for controlling my anxiety. How can I get out of this mindset that I need a xanax everytime I get anxious? I've been in NA but its hard for me bc I still need the pill occasionally to control my anxiety and panic so I don't feel like I'm 100% sober yet.

I'm just so scared of getting sucked back into the xanax addiction. It was so easy when it happened that I didn't even know that it happened. I guess I just need people to talk to that are supportive of me not taking it even when I get anxious because so many people in my life think that its ok that I take them regularly. I'm just feeling pretty down and weak right now. I feel like I should be over this by now but I'm not.
16 Responses
1331115 tn?1536365740
First relax and take a deep breath, how many xanax are you taking per day? If you need it to control your anxiety then do it sparingly until you get to see yoir doctor. How many were you taking during your active addiction? I have never taken xanax so I don't really know much about them but someone will come along and give you some advise so hang in there.
1448936 tn?1363209946
I was taking 1.5mg a day when I got seriously addicted. Now I'm prescribed .25mg and the most I've taken in one day is two. So at most I've taken .5mg in a day and I've only done that twice. I was only taking the .25 maybe 2 or 3 times in a week but tuesday I had to take .5 and yesterday and today I had to take .25. So now I'm getting pretty scared that I'm taking too many again.
Avatar universal
Erin,
     I hope that you are feeling better. I am day 7 today and feeling a bit better but my anxiety i through the roof. I am prescribed xanax but I got rid of them all last week so I am hanging in there without. I know how difficult and scary it can be to have bad anxiety and panic attacks. I will prayer for the both of us that we can get through this difficult day. You really just have to stay busy. When I sit around and think about it and how bad I feel it gets much much worse. I been cleaning my house and cooking a lot of different stuff. I just made chicken soup and that's about all I have to look forward to tonight. LOL. Arghh life without drugs. It gets better I know that seeing this isnt my first time through this sadly nor is prob. my last. I hope I make it longer then the last time (13 months). Feel better and hang in there. -John
185545 tn?1331078466
Erin. I have been following your posts for the passed month or so and i genuinely believe you suffer from a severe anxiety disorder which has lead you to become over cautious with regards to the medical treatment in spite of reassurances from your doctors. I encourage you to research the DSM IV which is an internationally accepted guideline and definition of addiction. The standard criteria for addiction are(basic outline)

A maladaptive pattern of substance use leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by one (or more) of the following, occurring within a 12-month period:
1.Recurrent substance use resulting in a failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, or home (e.g., repeated absences or poor work performance related to substance use; substance-related absences, suspensions or expulsions from school; neglect of children or household)
2.Recurrent substance use in situations in which it is physically hazardous (e.g., driving an automobile or operating a machine when impaired by substance use)
3.Recurrent substance-related legal problems (e.g., arrests for substance-related disorderly conduct)
4.Continued substance use despite having persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or exacerbated by the effects of the substance (e.g., arguments with spouse about consequences of intoxication, physical fights)

From what i have read of your threads, your xanax consuption has been well within the tolerable limits your doctor has set, you do not run out of prescriptions early, you have only been on xanax for a very short period(less than 6 months) and have been on a very small dose. I am not trying to minimise your problems but i sincerely believe that your anxiety has manufactured  a host of vague symptoms which you have inerpreted as physical dependance.

Anyways. That is my conclusion after reading and rereading all your posts over the time you have been a member of this forum.

I wish you all the best and hope you are able to find a tenable solution for your anxiety issue.

All the best. Regards Jeremy.
1448936 tn?1363209946
When I was taking 1.5 I was actually taking a bit more than I was supposed to. I ended up taking xanax from my dad during the third day of my ct withdrawal when I couldn't get my script filled. That's the point I'm scared to get back to.
185545 tn?1331078466
Did you steal them from your father?
1448936 tn?1363209946
Yes. He was in the shower so I took them. I couldn't take the withdrawals and I knew he wouldn't give them to me. I felt awful after I did it.
Avatar universal
HI Erin.....I have followed your story also and understand your fear...ive suffered panic anxiety for many years mostly due to taking the wrong meds for my bipolar disorder
I was prescribed 4 mg of xanex for several years and took them and never gave it a second thought ...it wasn't till I started feeling like I was on a roller coaster with feeling the meds ware off panic anxiety flare up take my dose everthing fine for 4 to 6 hr then the panic anxiety flare up again take my dose fine for the next 4 to 6 hr,,,the cycle never stoped
I was addicted to xanex and needed to get off of it so slowly my phyc dr weened me off of it
I still get anxiety but it is manageable the reason I told you this is so you would know what its like to be addicted to it...I believe you may have had a dependence on it but I haven heard you speek of the roller coaster ride it is when your addicted to it with the peaks and valleys....being dependent on it is going into withdrawals when it is taken from you suddenly....panic anxiety it self su cks to have and I hope they find a non benzo med to give you....also Avisg deals with this disorder without meds you may want to send here a message for some tips and hints of how to do that,,,,keep posting for support I hope you get welll soon good luck and God bless.....Gnarly          
Avatar universal
xanax addiction is far worse from what I hear then opiate addiction, and I am concerned.I am coming off a pain killer/ methadone/ suboxone addiction lasting 5 yrs or so and I found the strength to address these probs accordingly thru these sites. I am not qualified to give advise, I dabbled in xanax 10 + yrs ago,took 3 or 4 5 mg tabs , but got tired of waking in my dinner plate. IT IS HELL. please take the appropriate steps to address this, you may need a treatment center to at least to cover the anxiety issues of withdrawl and the reasons you feel a need to take them. stay strong and keep searching for the answer.... my prayers are with you......remember, God helps those who help themselves.. Chuck 13
185545 tn?1331078466
Shame. I know how it feels to steal medicine from a parent. It is absolutely awful. I can empathise with how you felt. I  dont think it will get to that point again Erin. I read where you said that your prescription had run out over a long weekend and you counldnt refill it until the Pharmacy reopened. Although it wasnt ideal, I think the fact that you took them from your dad to make up for the shortage you encountered because of a long weekend goes some way toward explaining your actions. Had i been in your position i would have been tempted to do the same.

I still believe that many of the symptoms you have been experiencing have been exacerbated by an anxiety condition. In many of your threads i read where you were unsure whether or not the symptoms you had were due to withdrawals or manufactured. Can i just say from experience that there is no ambiguiity when it comes to benzo withdrawals. They are not subtle or vague. You will know and there will be no room for self doubt or questioning.

Once again, i would encourage you to try and focus your attention on your anxiety first and then focus on a potential addiction issue. You are putting the cart before the horse,

All the best. Jeremy.

1448936 tn?1363209946
I didn't even think of the rollercoaster aspect. When I take a xanax I calm down but as soon as it wears off I'm constantly anxious until I take another. I thought it was just normal anxiety. When I take a xanax my gastro problems seem to dissipate and I can kind of eat. It really could just be my anxiety and not quite dependence as I don't feel as moody or as crazy when I was taking 1.5 a day.

I really don't want to discuss my anxiety though. I just want support to not keep taking xanax everyday because of the problems I had with it before. I'm trying to not take it at all.
1416436 tn?1300320839
Hi Erin, first off I want you to know that YOU ARE NOT weak. What you and countless of people have is really tough to beat. Anxiety can be a real b!tch. I agree with what  hellc@mst said. It is a severe anxiety disorder that is causing you these problems and not so much th xanax. I do't feel like you are going to go back to the way you were because you are taking smaller doses and even though you've taken them more frequently you are taking them because you are going through bad anxiety attacks. My psychiatrist actually put me on a non benzo medication along with zoloft and it helped so much. I'm confident that a non benzo will work wonders for you just like it did with me. I'm here for you for support. Keep us posted on how you're doing.
Avatar universal
Perhaps you need to replace the Xanax with something else.

There are  bipolar meds, anti-seizure meds, anti-psychotics, etc.

Different meds work for different people. Personally, I would generally try other things before anti-psychotics (because of their side effects profile), but that's for you and your psychiatrist to decide.

Because of the side effect profile, I would try everything else before trying an anti-psychotic.

It sounds like anxiety runs in your family. There are treatment centers such as the Pfeiffer treatment center ( http://www.hriptc.org ) that can be very effective in treating and even curing anxiety, bipolar, schizophrenia, etc. Like I said before, these disorders all have a cause and they aren't caused by a deficiency of an anti-depressant or Xanax for that matter.

I know it's the common thought that some of these conditions are not curable, but that's simply not true.

There are some orthomolecular physicians in PA, but it often takes an orthomolecular psychiatrist that knows what they are doing to see true results.

http://orthomolecular.org/resources/pract.shtml#PA

Now some of these doctors may be more in it for the money unfortunately. Most don't take insurance either because they practice outside the scope of what an insurance company allows and/or they want to make more of a profit. It's unfortunate, I know. If I had the money, and wanted to deal with the root cause rather than go on more medications, I'd go with Pfeiffer.

By the way: I didn't try to scare you about diet in the other post. I was just suggesting that avoiding things you are allergic and sensitive could possibly help with your condition. I am not trying to cause you to have OCD or fear over food. That would be counterproductive. It's just good for everyone to have a clean diet. Gut problems can cause anxiety and anxiety can cause gut problems.

That being said, I really don't think your problems are caused by Xanax withdrawal.

Think back – Why did you go on Xanax in the first place? Was there a reason?

I think many blame continuing anxiety on some kind of "discontinuation syndrome" because they still have an anxiety disorder. Imagine that.

And that being said Xanax is easy to blame since we all know it has addictive qualities.
Avatar universal
Just realized your from Pittsburgh, lol that's where I'm from. I can tell you really want to stop taking them. I know anxiety is a symptom of withdrawal which does get better with more clean time. But do you remember what your anxiety was like before you ever started taking Xanax?
Avatar universal
I had really bad anxiety after stopping sub's. At first I was subscribed diazepam (Valium) from the doc which did the job, but because its so addictive I wanted something else!

I was prescribed Beta-Blockers, there not as strong but do the trick. They basically stop your heart pounding away when you get nervous, scared worried, what ever. Plus a big bonus there not addictive, so you can use them as and when you need and not have to worry about addiction or W/D'S.
Avatar universal
I second what Atlastfree said.

I use Propranolol. I use it for more than just anxiety, but it definitely helps the physical manifestations.
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