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sober concert...can it be done?

Hi everyone...so I have been off of the pain killers for 46 days.  I am doing a recovery program so I am not drinking or doing any drugging :)  Truly trying to be clean and sober.  I have actually started feeling pretty good over the last week and a half.  So here is my question...live music has always been a huge passion for me.  I had concert tickets for 2 weeks ago and I did not think I was ready for that so I did not go.  I have concert tickets for tonight and they are for one of my top 3 favorite bands.  I love them!  However, it is at a club and I am nervous.  I am not nervous about using vicodin or pain meds but I am nervous about wanting to drink.  I am used to having some beer when I am at live shows and often smoking pot so I am nervous about wanting to do those things.  I want to go and I really want to see if I can enjoy the music sober and if so (which I am quite sure I will) I think it will be a big relief/accomplishment in my sobriety but I am also nervous and wondering if it is too early.  I do have a plan.  I am driving there so I will have my car if I want to leave.  I am going with 3 friends and all of them know everything and know I will not be drinking, etc.  They also know if I want to leave they leave or take a taxi home and they said they would not drink around me.  Any thoughts????  I need some feedback!!!  Also, on this same note.  I am happy to be learning to live completely sober and I think I need to do this but have any of you stayed clean from the narcotics but gone back to social drinking?  I am just wondering if I will be ok to drink in the future if I want to.  I know that right now the slope is too slippery but wondering if it will stay that way forever.  Thank you!
23 Responses
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935907 tn?1296069836
Hi jerseygil, please keep in mind that recovery is a "lifestyle" of total and complete abstinence. Total abstincene of all mind altering chemicals, alcohol, scripts and just plain anything drug related. I know whats good for me, and whats good for me might not be good for you and how serious you are about being completely abstinent. It is not the end of the world when we really want to become serious with our health and overall well-being. Its a choice and to me I will do anything to avoid taking the next drink or drug, ANYTHING... 92 days and clean, living, and serene,, mike in nc
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Avatar universal
Mike - after posting that I realized that I want to stay free from alcohol and all drugs not just my drug of choice but I also want to enjoy one my passions...enjoy it in sobriety.  Is your advice that I should not go to a place where the majority are drinking so I should skip the concert or is your advice just that I must stay on the course of complete sobriety?  
Helpful - 0
1110177 tn?1268461548
Go to the concert and enjoy it clean and clear.  It may be tough but you will gain a sense of power by facing your demons head on.  You will also...and I promise...get WAY more out of it with a clear head.  And when you look back...the raw emotions that the music brings out of you...you will remember forever.

When I was 24 I went to the National Championship for my favorite sporting team.  Now I was a drunk back then...but I stayed sober that day...specifically because I wanted to experience the day without drugs...AND IT WAS AWESOME...not to mention one of the best memories I have.  I remember the entire day with a clarity that cannot be taken away.

Now fast forward to the birth of my two children...in which case i was high on pills...it KILLS me to think that I did not experience those days without a clear head.  Friggin KILLS me.

Go...be strong...dance and sing your *** off...and go home with a smile on your face!!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm clean 44 days and I drink 1 or 2 nights a week and its no problem for me just don't over do it the hangover is much worse now that I quit pills not physicaly but mentaly. I don't see a problem with a little alchohol once in a while but I also never had a problem with it in the first place.
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1110177 tn?1268461548
With all due respect...you have not been "clean" for 44 days if you drink... Alcohol is a drug for an addict, it's that simple

Most will say a drug is a drug is a drug...and that alcohol will eventually lead to other things.

Be careful...up to you, but I would not want to ruin your clean time with alcohol...
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Avatar universal
Thank you!  That is how I feel and I can leave if I am not feeling that when I am there...but I am looking forward to really shaking my *ss and feeling the music with no numbers in the system.  Most people do not seem to think it is ok to go so I have been having a lot of anxiety so hearing your opinion is so wonderful.  I will let you know how it goes :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I alos agree with freedom on that.  I got off of the pills in the past but kept drinking and it always ended up leading me back to the pills....quite often that mental hangover just as you said.  This time I am in recovery not just abstaining from pill use and I have learned that for addicts it is too risky to use other substances.  For me I realize that I can switch addictions to easily or get led back to my drug of choice.  I do wonder if after a year or two of being clean and sober if I can go back to social drinking but always keeping it in check...however, I am not sure if that will possible and I am leaving one day at a time so I will pose that question on a year or two.
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1110177 tn?1268461548
Again...once an addict, always an addict.  There are stories out there of folks that quit drinking for 25 years, picked it up and were dead in very short order.  I know it sounds crazy...but you may always have this devil inside of you.  I know I do.

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Avatar universal
I agree with Tony...nothing wrong with a couple of drinks,as long as not overdone.I only drink 1 day a week and limit it to 3 glasses of wine.
Perhaps Tony should have said 44 days opiate free,
I also agree that alcohol is also a drug and a dangerous one...so is nicotine and caffeine.
If the drinking is controlled and does not lead to other drugs or vices..what is the problem.
Altho I do understand that more often than not the alcohol replaces the drugs in addiction and is very hard to control and drinking when vulnerable is a slippery slope so best to avoid difficult situations
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Avatar universal
Sorry clean from pills for 44 days. I don't consider alchohol a drug. I've never had a problem with it and it never leads to other drugs. That's just me though. If someone has a problem with other drugs while drinking I agree they shouldn't drink.  But for me I don't see anything wrong with hanging out with your friends and having a few drinks.
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Avatar universal
Thank you I agree with u 100%
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Avatar universal
Good for you being free from pills for 44 days.That is huge and I am proud of you.
Helpful - 0
935907 tn?1296069836
Hi jersey, just wanted to let you know that I was not trying to distract you from attending the concert. But just remember your triggers and what the total outcome of those trigger might be or end up to be. You just do not want to wake up the next day feeling so guilty about something that you might really did not want to do or had intentions of doing. Again, drugs and alcohol for me is a gamble, if I have just one or the other, consider me gone and off to the races until who knows when. Its your life and that too is precious and a great gift. If you have something wonderful going on right now, I would try not to mess it up to say the least. Just keep in mind as to how far you have traveled on the road to clean time this time, and that battle was hard fought forj and last but not least, "how many battles do we have left in us"????? I know the answer if that was pointed to me... Just think about it,, god bless, mike in nc
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Avatar universal
Sorry if my comment to you came off wrong.  We are all different and we have to do what works for us.  I just know that when I tried to stay off the pills in the past hangovers brought me back to them.  In the future maybe can I go back to having a few drinks and just keeping it in check.  That is just not goinng to work for me for now....which is why I am a little nervous about the concert.
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Avatar universal
If you have any doubts whatsoever,don't go.You will just put yourself in a vulnerable position.
If you feel confident that you will not relapse go to the concert.
When I quit smoking I was able to be around smokers because my mind was made up and the cigarettes did not tempt me.Now I don't even like to be around cigarette smoke because it stinks and burns my eyes.
When I gave up opiates my mind was also made up and I was not tempted,but if you know yourself and your weaknesses go with your instinct.
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1110177 tn?1268461548
Tony, great job on the 44 days...trust me, I respect that.  My only fear is that Jersey will take your comments and her brain will use it as an excuse to drink...which will then lead down a different path.  For some, like me...no drugs are the answer.  The hard core recoverers will probably agree with me.  But kudos...keep your guard up and be proud of a pill free life.

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Avatar universal
Yes, it is probably not great for to hear about recovering addicts that are and can drink.  especially before this concert.  I obviously have some doubts about going.  I know I will not take pills...it is a couple of beers that I wonder about.  However, honestly I am in a program, my mind is made up, I am actually in recovery not just abstaining so I do know that I can go and not use.  I feel it and I know it.  I guess I am just worried that I will have anxiety when I am there or something.  I have been going back and forth all day from excitement to fear.  Honestly I have built it up so much in mind that I think I am fighting a harder battle in my head now then I will at the concert.  At this point I almost feel the need to go just to face this anxiety and see that sober living is fun too and I can dance my *** off without being drunk or high...maybe my moves will be even better :)
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Avatar universal
Years ago when I quit smoking everyone said don't go to a bar where others are smoking or you'll want to. I went anyway and when I saw others smoking, it disgusted me and made me even more powerful in staying away from cigarettes. Not sure, but it may work this way for you at a concert by noticing if others are polluted while your'e sober, it might give you even more power realizing what a much better life it is being clean. It's good to be aware of triggers but don't over protect yourself either from things you enjoy as you may have the time of your life, and maybe for the first time in years naturally. Don't drink, it will cloud your good judgement.
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Avatar universal
thank you.  It is crazy how worried I am about this...but I think part of it is actually excitement at the prospect of taking this big step to live soberly.  It is funny because I remember when I was pregnant and I was always the designated driver for our friends because I would still go to concerts and we had a bunch of weddings both times I was pregnant and the drunk fools always got on my nerves and I though that is how I act when I am drunk I am not going to drink anymore even after the pregnancy....that never lasted but I remember feeling that.  Thank you.  I think I will either feel my strength tonight or I won't and I'll leave early :)
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Avatar universal
That was very wise advice.Congrats formerjerseygirl on 46 days and counting.
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1110177 tn?1268461548
well...I am dying to know how it went?!?  Did you dance...did you feel...did you shake that a$$...did you feel the music as it was meant to be experienced??

I hope you had fun...and let the anxiety wash away with every beat of sounds.

Throw us an update, Jersey...

~ Free
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Avatar universal
I just messaged you but I wanted to update everyone else as well...  Thank you all for the advice

Oh man, it was AWESOME!!!  I am so glad I went.  I had the best time, the absolute best time.  I enjoyed the music and the show way more sober.  I got down like nobody's business and loved every minute of it and today I am not even hungover!  WooHoo!  I did a lot of woohooing last night too (afterall I am from Jersey).  I am tired today but I am so happy and hopeful.  After experiencing the concert sober I actually felt  and still feel - I really like being sober.  I really like it.  I never thought I would say and feel that.  There were some drunk guys next to me and they were so annoying...they were sloppy and annoying and I thought that is how I used to be and I feel so much better this way and they are definitely not having more fun than me.  one guy kept trying to talk to me and he reaked of alcohol and it grossed me out.  

It was really great.  I really needed to experience that I can still enjoy things that I love (maybe even more so) sober and that I am still the same person (maybe even more so).  Thank you!!!
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1218318 tn?1266808601
I knew you would be alright. If we're spirtiually fit we can go to these places and have even more fun. Enjoy your life to the fullest! It great to hear some recovery going on.
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