Aa
starting over
have many of you here had to almost start completely over after getting clean. i mean i had to completely ditch my friends because they used (although i can admit i was the worst). now i can't really drink cause it's my biggest trigger so i can't socialize at a bar. i can't go to parties unless i know coke won't be there and that's hard to know. at the superbowl party i walked in on people doing lines and had to leave at halftime. it makes me feel stupid that i can't have myself in that situation and had to leave. it just feels like i am completely starting over and im 32 years old, lol. so much good has happened lately, but i get frustrated sometimes cause i still have to work at staying clean, it dosen't just go away. i guess im just venting now cause i don't want to be an addict no more, it's hard work sometimes staying clean. i really am happy though now, i never thought i could be again. life is great, but starting over and all the work that follows can be tough.
I had to stay away from lots of things too.
I miss my friends, but they understand. My family has the stuff, and I'd never ditch them, and they aren't aware of my problem.
Ditched the boyfriend & lifestyle.
Looking for new job.
Making new friends.
Lucky for me, I can drink a little without craving. Only if I drink too much I want something to pick me up, so I just drink a little.
Yup! New life!
Luv 2 U!
I miss my friends, but they understand. My family has the stuff, and I'd never ditch them, and they aren't aware of my problem.
Ditched the boyfriend & lifestyle.
Looking for new job.
Making new friends.
Lucky for me, I can drink a little without craving. Only if I drink too much I want something to pick me up, so I just drink a little.
Yup! New life!
Luv 2 U!
yes it is hard to leave friends, but not if they are not healthy for us. sometimes we have to be selfish and non addicts just don't understand what a battle it can be sometimes. i have no regrets on what i needed to do to stay clean, it has worked
It really is crazy how some friends can say how glad they are u are clean but then ask you to hang with them and do what you did - i got a great girlfriend that was clean off crack for a long time - she moved and is in FL and hanging around her old friends and smoking some again and she is pregnant - I feel so so bad for her - here in VA she didn't have those friends - i told her to dig them but it is her choice - it is hard to leave those friends that we knew for a long time, that we even loved,
It is disheartening to have people offer you drugs to celebrate your cleanliness. I was actually pretty mad after that yesterday.
Keep this in mind....they are still 'sick'...their mind is not processing what you are saying.
This is crazy....Steven and I watched American Gangster last night, then I dreamt I was doing heroin and actually got sick from it! WTF? (we have never done heroin)
Keep this in mind....they are still 'sick'...their mind is not processing what you are saying.
This is crazy....Steven and I watched American Gangster last night, then I dreamt I was doing heroin and actually got sick from it! WTF? (we have never done heroin)
Most people don't understand triggers. You should come clean to your friends and explain. If they really are your friends, they will understand. If not, go on with making a new life. Happy first day of spring with SNOW! I know you're ready for sunny days again.
BERRGERSWIFE, Do you always type in CAPS?
BERRGERSWIFE, Do you always type in CAPS?
This is a good question. The funny thing is ..I did all this changing back at age 34..(when I got sober from alcohol).and moved twice due to marriage and relocation. I will be 52 and most of my friends are sober / clean...they are friends from AA...so I feel lucky that i dont' have to restructure that whole part of my life, because that really does take some effort. I never stoppped going to AA while i was pill popping...and no one ever knew. I guess the point I'm trying to make is you guys need to give NA/AA a try...there you are goign to find good people to help you get on the right track and teach you some of the tools to stay clean and sober....you will meet new people to start doing SOBER/CLEAN things with....after you get some time under your belt...it gets easier...
just my 2 cents worth!!
HAPPY 1st DAY OF SPRING!! I saw a robin :D LOL
just my 2 cents worth!!
HAPPY 1st DAY OF SPRING!! I saw a robin :D LOL
Is there a chance they are wanting help? I guess if they did they wouldn't be asking you to meet them at the bar though. I'm sure they just miss you. They probably don't realize the strength it took to do what you did. They also probably don't realize you can't even be around it once clean. Hopefully one day for their own sake they will realize. They have no idea the battle that you fought and the changes you have had to make. They are still going on with life like there is no problem. They have no idea!
Yesterday, Steven and I ran into an old friend who congratulated us on being clean....then ask us to stop by, he would cut us out some lines of oxy.....'oh, thanks...how did you know?' ******* lmao
ALONG TIME AGO I WAS BAD WITH EVERYTHING ONCE I MET MY HUSBAND AND GOT PREGNANT I LOST EVERYONE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS.
ITS BEEN 4 YEARS AND I STILL REALLYDONT HAVE ANY REAL FRIENDS.
I NOW HAVE MY OWN NEW ISSUES THAT IM SCARED ABOUT AND HAVING FRIENDS WOUL HELP BUT IT ALWAYS SEEMS SO HARD TO RELATE
IT FEELS LIKE NO NORMAL PERSON WILL UNDERSTAND
THEY JUST DONT GET IT
ITS BEEN 4 YEARS AND I STILL REALLYDONT HAVE ANY REAL FRIENDS.
I NOW HAVE MY OWN NEW ISSUES THAT IM SCARED ABOUT AND HAVING FRIENDS WOUL HELP BUT IT ALWAYS SEEMS SO HARD TO RELATE
IT FEELS LIKE NO NORMAL PERSON WILL UNDERSTAND
THEY JUST DONT GET IT
i guess what bothered me this morning is that when i turned on comp i had emails from 2 friends i ditched the day i got clean. they congradulated me on being clean, but want me to go to the bar this weekend. i couldn't even respond to them, it was too hard and i feel bad. why would you ask someone that is clean to go to a bar, lol.
Dear Gizzy,
I FEEL YOUR PAIN! I am 37 years old. When I was 27 I completely stopped coke. I found that drinking, once I had 5 drinks or so was my trigger because the coke "sobered" me up again so I could keep on partying. My problem was it was NEVER enough. I remember the turning point for me was that I had to check myself into a hotel room after partying all night with a stranger who thankfully was not a wierdo or a killer because I would be dead right now. Anyhow I checked myself into a hotel room to "come down" and went through the loneliest and most paranoid day of my life. At the timeI was going to college with the goal of becoming a nurse. I missed all of my classes that day and almost lost my last chance for completing school by partying. I decided to hang onto that feeling of coming down and being lonely, scared, broke, etc. and I vowed to never put myself through that again. I STOPPED going to bars, stopped hanging out with anybody who might know a "connection" completely changed my life and had to stop associating with all of the people that I knew. I had to start completely over, socially. I eventually became able to drink without doing coke because I didnt have any and didnt know anyone who could get any. My heart goes out to you because I have been there. Looking back it really doesnt seem like it was that hard to do I just had to "mature" out of the party scene. Sadly, after about 5 years of being clean I got a back injury and then became addicted to Lortab. It seems like my body latched onto this new addiction and I am struggling through the same thing all over again. I promise you can make it through this. I promise you can do it. Just create a new life and identity for yourself. Move if you have to change your phone number. If your buddies are really friends they will understand why you had to disconnect. You have to get away from all your contacts, and burn your bridges so to speak so that you wont be tempted hon. I promise you can do it. It wont be easy but good things in life are not always easy.
I FEEL YOUR PAIN! I am 37 years old. When I was 27 I completely stopped coke. I found that drinking, once I had 5 drinks or so was my trigger because the coke "sobered" me up again so I could keep on partying. My problem was it was NEVER enough. I remember the turning point for me was that I had to check myself into a hotel room after partying all night with a stranger who thankfully was not a wierdo or a killer because I would be dead right now. Anyhow I checked myself into a hotel room to "come down" and went through the loneliest and most paranoid day of my life. At the timeI was going to college with the goal of becoming a nurse. I missed all of my classes that day and almost lost my last chance for completing school by partying. I decided to hang onto that feeling of coming down and being lonely, scared, broke, etc. and I vowed to never put myself through that again. I STOPPED going to bars, stopped hanging out with anybody who might know a "connection" completely changed my life and had to stop associating with all of the people that I knew. I had to start completely over, socially. I eventually became able to drink without doing coke because I didnt have any and didnt know anyone who could get any. My heart goes out to you because I have been there. Looking back it really doesnt seem like it was that hard to do I just had to "mature" out of the party scene. Sadly, after about 5 years of being clean I got a back injury and then became addicted to Lortab. It seems like my body latched onto this new addiction and I am struggling through the same thing all over again. I promise you can make it through this. I promise you can do it. Just create a new life and identity for yourself. Move if you have to change your phone number. If your buddies are really friends they will understand why you had to disconnect. You have to get away from all your contacts, and burn your bridges so to speak so that you wont be tempted hon. I promise you can do it. It wont be easy but good things in life are not always easy.
giz, i completely relate. every friend i had used.....from the time i was 23 and i was 39 when i got off the coke. for 5 months i only went to church. but now i am suuround by wonderful clean friends. and i am in healthy relationships. and it is great. with the pill addiction, i didnt have friends that used them. i was in the closet so t speak. lol but brian, you are so right.....it is worth it. LIFE IS GREAT
It is like you just have to remove yourself from everyone who does it - i know you will encounter some even if you don't want to!! my ex husband is into coke big time - his problem he does it, smokes it, and sells it - i talked to him a couple of days ago and told him i really feel for him and not to get himself to much into it because in the end he will lose but you know he has to want to help himself - i have to stay away from him and not take his calls - OMG how many times have i been around people who were doing it - OMG it was so so hard not to do it but i would think of how bad it made me feel and how much it sucked to come down how lamo was i - your doing great keep it up giz :)
hope i didn't spell anything wrong - someone may dog me out :)
hope i didn't spell anything wrong - someone may dog me out :)
But ask yourself this Gizzy, is the change worth it? I know the answer to that! Just give it time and hopefully all of the temptations will pass. I'm sure the day will come to where you can drink socially if you want. As each day passes you are getting stronger and stronger and realizing that you can handle the cravings when they hit. It can just be a long process. You're doing great so hang in there!
By the way, we're suppose to hit 60 degrees today! Hope you're enjoying that snow!!!
By the way, we're suppose to hit 60 degrees today! Hope you're enjoying that snow!!!
I had to dich friends and stay away from family that use. Good that you are happy and go with it. You a clean life full of happiness.
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