at the crossroads again

[house2]

I'm convinced I like to suffer,I do it every month.7 days c/t this time.I like the chills, headaches,sleepless nights and the loser feeling.Tomorrow 60ea 7.5 vics will be waiting for me at the happy house phram.Not much of a question,I got to get off this train.I go thru the hardest part and jump right back in.

[house2]

luppygirl,your advise is valued and needed,who else is qualified to share than someone who lives it.Montgirl,sounds like you have a pretty good Dr.,mine would give me that look and say I thought we were going the other way LESS.When I read the vic intake from some folks(10-20 pills a day) I wonder how they got there.I know me,if I could bump it up there would be no end to it,seems like a dangerous pattern to develop.The more you take and stay on this @#$^& the harder its going to be when your ready to call it quits.

[MontanaGurl]

I have been in the same place as you and unfortunately if i dont shape up, will be back there this month again.  I hate running out of meds, promise myself that i will make them last but, never do.  I go through about 5 -7 days of w/d than meds are ready than i start all over again.  what to do?? unknown answer.  I guess i cant see the forest for the trees (cant see the adiction for the medicine) haa haa.  sick humor i have!  anywho, i am with ya on this one.  I know that circle of pain we create for ourselves each month.  I have r.a. also and was in a very bad motorcycle accident and actually spent bout a month in harborview to be bolted back together again.  the pain in real but gets worse when run out of meds.  i dont know why i cant keep them the entire month.  starts out with my script and an X amount of pills, so i run out early due to taking 1 more pill a day, so doc ups script to include that extra pill a day and low and behold doesnt take the pain away this month, last month worked good but this month still taking 1 more a day so next month will be bumped up by another 1 pill a day and so on and so on........ is this what happens to you??.................til next time...........montanagurl

[luppygirl]

I hope people still take my advice seriously because it comes from the heart and also through learning a lot over the past year of my hellish pain

[luppygirl]

Sorry to disappoint but I actually never have tried.  I know what about the experiences through my husband.  I do take pain medication, I suffer from chronic pain due to  lupus, rhuemetoid arthritis and also colitis so for me right now i am working on different ways to control my pain ( cause it is major pain) I not sure if I like some of the suggestions some of drs have suggested.  one of the ways they want me to try and control my chronic pain is by taking cymbalta ( anti depressant that helps with pain) and suboxone.  I haven't heard much about sub being used for pain control, i have just heard about it for getting off of pain meds.  They also suggested methadone which i am not keen on trying.  What i would kind of like to do is go in the hospital for a safe medical detox clean out the old receptors then i could go back to using low dosages of pain medication to control the pain.  Tylenol and Advil didn't even touch the pain even before i tried any kind of narcotic.  And with diseases things get worse not better.  I hate having to decide things.  so i would take suggestions as well.  I do have pretty good control over my pills a few times i ended up half a day short.  But I certainly felt the withdrawal and i hated it i don't want to ever feel that way. My husband actually got off of them by going to rehab.  His insurance covered a 6 week stay but he still didn't have it easy because he lied about how much he was taking, when in fact he was taking way more so the taper down was a bit fast and he really felt the withdrawal. I don't know why I am rambling on like this, but i find that from doing tons of research about narcotics i have learned way more then I thought possible so most of my advice is from talking to other people who have been through it and just being well informed.  I like to help people and i am on sick leave from work right now so I have the time on my hands

[sway1]

ah yes! the hampster wheel. i know it well. ***** to be in that cycle. you'll get off of it. the sooner the better. you are on here so you recognize. stick around.

[house2]

WOW how did you know that? ha ha Of course the answer is everytime and never,sounds like you have been there and beat this thing,how did you do it for the long haul?Thanks for the responce

[luppygirl]

At day 7 aren't you almost over the worst of the withdrawal.  You should just not pick up those pills.  Like on day 7 the light at the end of the tunnel is shining brightly.  I know easier said then done knowing that they are sitting at the pharmacy will be on your mind and cloud your judgement.  But wouldn't it be nice just to be done once and for all.  I bet you think this time when i pick these ones up I am going to make them last until refill time again.  How many times have you said that and how many times has it worked???