sucked into a world I never wanted

[trappedInn]

My girlfriend is a coke addict.  And noe I am too. I am sorry to say but I recently took a good look at myself in the mirror and what I saw was not me.  A year ago i was a strong and healthy man with a great carreer ahead of me I had great friends that were alsways on my side and things were finally looking good.  I had a life. I looked in the mirror I feel for the first time .  It may sound strange but I really have'nt LOOKED at myself since I started dating my girl.  I lost at least 25pds and  I am ashamed.  It was fun at first sight she was cool and into me and she liked to party and party we did Coke  all the time.  Sorry to say this but she liked to have sex when all coked up so I was asily hooked. I did think We were doing too much of the drug at first then I got lost into her and the drug.  I never in the past did as much as she did and I later was told she was an addict. But by that tie i was sucked into my own addiction lost my friends and lost myself.  I never wanted this to happen  I don't hink I even love her anymore she has shown her true persona with moods swings , control issues and Jonesing fo r more.  I thought she was perfect but now i think she is a f***ing freak of a mess. What should i do.  I live with her and got a stupid meaningless job to appease her and it i so belittling compared to my former carreer.  She hold her money a a control over me and now that i have seen her for what she really is and what she had also pushed me into being I am faking every moment with a smile but going crazy inside ...I detest her now.

[worried878]

Giz knows alot about the coke thing...did it in my younger days for "fun"   never had a problem tho...too expensive in these parts to use often..I dont know the price of it anymore, but back then it was pricey....so she is rich...so waht...sounds like she is your helping you go down the toilet...i would get the heck away from her and stay there...I have heard coke WD is more mental than physical...but hey...the mental thing is what makes the narcs rough to give up too...what is your plan?

[newmanagment]

guess med help wont let me post... typed a nice comment to help ya out, but its not here... hmmmm

[alldonepercs]

atleast I got to read what you said and I thought you where right on target new

[lisa429]

wow do i ever kno wat you ar goingthrew we all do i was in the same sitiuatin it worse after i got clean and saw the person i had spent 15 years with for wat he was see when we met i was on coke and stayed on coke for years he is not a addict but i was and then as i said i got clean and saw him as someone i didnt kno i saw that  ididnt like him at all he had is own addictions as well i was his security blanket his caretaker his mother  he did nothing for him self had a good job and thats all i saw was the money and getting high after i got this sober eye i started saying how do i get out of this how do i get my life back  and i was clean but didnt have my life he had it i had loved him at one time but then again i was high  you have to start loving yourself and saying do i really want this no i dont i want my own life and stop beating  yourself up u let the drug already do that so dont add to it with self pity it will be ok if you work on u the inside of u everything will come back but you have to fight  its easy getting hooked but hard to get unhooked thats why they say one day at a time god bless

[johnnykelly]

TRAPPED,NO DISRESPECT TO THE PILL POPPERS,OR EVEN THE OCCASSIONAL hEROIN SNIFFER,OR CHASING THE DRAGON.that CRACK COCAAINE,OR SNIFFING OR i.v. USE THIS DROG IS RELENTLESS IT WONT ALLOW THE deAN OF aCADEMICS AT hARVARD TO  SAY ? wELL bOYS ,GOOD NIGHT,I HAVE A 8-BALL OR SO LEFT ,AND ITS GETTIN LATE THANKS FOR THE COMPANY ILL BE ON MY WAY, O.K. GUYS AND GALS.yaw BRO JUST LEAVE EVERT LINE,ROCK OR RIT ON THE TABLE.tHEN BY ALMEANS asee ya DUDE. cOKE IS NOT A sOCIAL DRUG ITS PURE EVIL AT THE end,AND MY FRIEND YOU AND i BOTH NEED nEWW,PROPLE,PLACES AND THINGS,AS IF WE DONT WE WILL KILL OR BE KILL3EDIN AN ASSORTRMENT OF WAYYS.bRO FIRST THINGS FIRST CAN YOU MAYBE PAY A COUPLE OF EXTRA MONTHS RENT,AS WE ALL NEED A PLACE TRO LAY OUR HEAD.2ND cAN YOU GET A MOTHER OR FATHER ,AUNT,OR UNCLE TO TAKE CARE OR YOUR REMAINIMG CASH,ASI LIQUIDATEDED THE LAST 60.OOO.OO IN 2-MONTHS. NO LIE I WAS WILLED A SMALL HOUSE FROM MY DADS DEATH i reCEICED 87,000,00 IN CASH. I SPEND 20.000.OO 0N GOOD THINGS AS I WAS IN A.A. AT THAT TIME ME AND MY SPONSER WENT TO st.MARTEEN FOR A 2 WEEK VACATION,ALSO WE WENT ANOTHER 2-WEEK VACATION TO cUBA,cUBA IS THE SPOT,NO DRUGS,BUT BEAUTIFUL cHICAS,IF SOME DUDE SAYS see AMIGO YOU NEED COCO, YES PARFAVOUR SENIOUR,I SCORED ONCR THE COUNT WAS DISPICKABLE,BUT (REAL0 THAT SWEET TASTE OF THE OLD DAyy,but150.00 gor a 60 piece,as they have only very little,moreovewr with all due respect get somebody you can reaklly trust with  your remaining cash. cheers john

[LONESOME]

Hun please run while you still can, she will kill you and I really mean it if one day you OD on whatever you guys are doing she will just take of to the next guy and would never look back and your friend and family will find you days later. Sorry it sound like a movie but ask your self is in it what you are going thru almost unreal? like a movie? YEAH run my friend and get help with family and GOOD friends don't be affraid to addmitt that you have a problem it dosen't matter if she introduced you to it or you started on your own NOW you have a problem (just like us) and you  NEED HELP. also stick around there are some really amazing ppl here I MEAN IT!!!!!!!!!

[toxictome]

Welcome to the forum. This is a great place for help and support!!
The answer to your question is right in your post..

RUN...THE OTHER WAY....GO!!!

Get YOUR life back and get back on track...we're here for you!

Good luck and keep posting!

[johnnykelly]

MY FRIEND IM 48yrs old,I Dont personally know you,BUT let me reiterate my name is john from Toronto and in some convoluted way i Probably know you getter than I no myself and My Bro VISE VERSA, as we addicts are always there for others Especially the Ladies,but when theplate is clean or the Bank-card cant do an-other transaction,it seems my good friend at least in mycase All thats left if johnny with his ****** in his hand.Bro my father died approximatele 3yrs ago,that was my saFETY NET,NOW,IM ASHAMED TO SAY,THERES TIMES WHEN I HAVE SO SEVERELY SUFFER FOR A WEEK OR 2,AND MY BROP THATS ONLY TO GET SOME BREAD FOR BASIC NEEDS LIKE FOOD.i LIKE YOU ONFUCKIN LOSER,EXCEPT WHEN I DO THE 1ST rock,THEN I CANT SAT YOU,WHAT,WHEN,HOW,OR IF ILL MAKE IT ALIVE. tHERE HAS BEEN TIMES WHEN MAYBE DEATH WOULD OF BEEN BETTER.tHANK gOD FOR THIS forum AS sUICIDE HAS BEEN ON MY MIND,ESPECIALLY WHEN IM COMING OFF A MOTHER F-ING RE-LAPSWE. hIGHER POWER PLEASE HELP ME,AND MY bRO trappedin, AS IM ALSO trappedin MY OWN hell. i HAVE ABOUT 3-WEEKS CLEAN. GET BACK TO ME PLEASE JOHN INtORONTO CHEERS

[road2recovery]

welcome...listen i think we are all ashamed of our addictions....But u have to move on...Get her out of your life, and then work on getting YOU back.....
my addiction ws pills, but to me addiction is all the same...
We are here for you!!1
r2r

[beenthere125]

Well...time to stop beating yourself up and try doing something about it. Let me tell you...getting on with your life and away from your "girlfriend" will be the best thing you ever did. Now no one is saying it's going to be easy. If you've become a regular user and addicted...then you may find that going to a doctor for help is your best option. I'm not all that familiar with the w/d symptoms of coke...but there are lots of people here who do and will probably post some info for you soon. I imagine things are gonna be a little slow today because of the Easter weekend...but hang there. I'm sure someone who's been through it will be able to support you through this.
Wish you all the best!

[trappedInn]

Your Question-With this lady where do you see your future in five years?
There is no future! I am a Man.and I am ashamed.

[house1]

So I guess the question now is are you a man or a mouse?
I ask this question with no disrespect because it is a valid one.

I have known guys who have fell into the seduction of a beautiful women if you mix
Cocaine into the mix most men think there in heaven.
But when they finally do look deep into the mirror and see what they have become its
a more of a demonic impression than anything else.
With this lady where do you see your future in five years?

Sir, she will drag you down to the depths of hell and when she finally tires of you because you have become useless you will lay naked in the street.

I'll ask you again are you a man or a mouse?