Thank you for your response-we don't want to go down that road and by reading forums and knowing already what we are feeling-that we are bound to end up there. It is all of you that post that help us make that decision to try and stop it here. Best of luck to you as well.
You are so lucky you have found this forum at a low does,,,I sure wish i would of..I can remember when i took a pill a day and cleaned my whole house, the yard, and the neighbors...Thought i was super mom with 4 kids full time job and didn't miss a beat..Then it was 1 1/2, then more ...I was cutting someones hair one day and she told me she was on a methadone taper because she was taking 30 lortbs a day, i thought she was lying ..because at that time i was taking maybe 3 a day...I honestly though she was a lier...Well she was not..And i sure wish at that time i would of got online and found this place.
I did not find it until about jan 07, by that time had alot going on and a sugery coming up, so i started posting i think in mar, then surgery turned into a disaster, and so did my life...I am over 60 days clean from the wonderfull people i have meant here...
so glad you found this early
good luck to both of you
r2r
I think the best way to explain it is that we know maybe not now-but eventually we will be up there with taking more and more pills-and KNOW it. I didn't take alot-but it was for a length of time. And you do crave it at whatever level you are at. I have learned from these good people on here-many who have gone down a road that started out at smaller doses-then went to major doses. I think we are hoping to not go down that road. I am new to this but that is just my point.
i do beleive there is a differnce in being dependent and addicted..But a very fine line..
only you know..And it sounds like u know..I didn't read the whole post my computer went out..And thanks for writing it all..
what exactly is your pain?? Also yes i also agree getting off one then the other is best..
Be carefull when you get off the benzo's..I did and if you ever want to talk about it let me know.I would be happy to share my experience with that...I was on klonopin..
i was also controlled by my pills..i understand what you mean.
just wish i can kick the cigs soon.
good luck
r2r
Think it's kind of like smoking. If someone smokes 1 cigarette a day or 5 packs a day, they are still addicted.
I haven't been without a pain pill for the 12 years I've been going to pain doctors. Although I'm in legitimate pain and on disability, I wait to take my pain pills. I didn't throw all the pills away - saved enough to complete my taper and can always go back to the pain doctor. I am also a dual addict as I'm on valium too. Have been on xanex for 22 years (recently switched over to valium to taper-then decided to get off the pain pills first).
It's kind of like being a "controlled" alcoholic. That's what my father is. He was a workaholic first, so would wait until being out with a client at lunch to have a martini or two, then go back to work and come home at night and have enough to pass out. However, he controlled it so that he could work.
I am "controlled" in my medication usage, but that doesn't mean I can simply stop taking it at the drop of a hat.
Even pain management people will tell me I'm just physical dependent and not an "addict". However, I believe that is ********. Physically dependent and addicted are one and the same thing.