Aa
thankyou and sorry...
My husband decided to leave me today because he is a drug addict and i am recovering..He doesn't obviously like it..all i know is..i am devestated...slap in the face kinda way..things in life are hard..i am not a weak person in general..but my friends...i am afraid i have reached my limit...whatever you want to call it....he actually threatened me to take my kids...HA those ARE FIGHTING WORDS.... and yes i took 4 oxy's..which i never did..and they" just"came my way...isn't that lovely...I am a piece of **** and I am sorry...I don't have a script or anything...it was either that or vodka...sorry the truth hurts..
Lisa! Im so sorry this is all happening to you. im also sorry i didnt see this post till now. I started back to work yesterday and havent been able to get on the forum much at all. But i wanted you to know that i am praying for you and you are in my heart and mind today. and look!! You got me to post!!! you know how hard it is for me but i did it for you girl!!! im going to get back to you today in a pm but want you to know how much i care and girl you are awesome ...if your hubby can walk out on a woman like you at this time in your life when he should be standing at your side walking with you then he does not deserve you and i truly feel you will be happier and better off without him. You deserve better then that. You are a amazing woman and mother. You stand tall and be proud of yourself, You have come a long way and accomplished so much girl! You keep on keeping on and dont let nothing or noone bring you down..youve worked far to hard. Love and prayers to you lisa! Lori XXXOO
Oh boy...this is a tough one. 50 days clean and you took 4 little nothing pills sweety. Its not a set back, yes you took them in the face of stress and extreme situation. I would have drank personally so it would make me sick and teach me a lesson. But so what sadi...look wtf it took for you to go that route. Umm most people would have cracked long ago with what you been through hun. And i dont sugar coat as you know ;) I see your pic and if you think no one would want you...you are very mistaken. Theres nothing wrong with you, you dont look your age. Your cute as ****. You have raised 6 kids, battled almost life long addiction and still made it this far, do you know many others who can even relate. Most cant fathom what you been through. I dont want to hear you feeling sorry for yourself or mistakes you made...there lessons and you learn from them.
You dont give yourself any credit, you need to start loving you sadi, you have to start at ground zero...YOU!!!! I cant even comprehend what kind of man would do something like this, hes lucky im not a close friend with access to you him because i would teach him a life lesson he will never forget. Im disgusted, if you were mine i would be so proud of you and support you 100% and never let you forget how far you come and how far you can go. I would also have quit with you and fought with you until the end.
People dont relize just what we are truly capable of, i think you will find out soon enough. Your gonna pick yourself up, wipe off the dirt, and walk right through fire as you have been since you were 13. No poor "me" its poor him and everyone else who gets in your way. Steam roll right over it and move on. God im pissed and not at you, im pissed that a human and a man at that who claims to love and care could do this at this time in your life. If you need ANYTHING, ask.
Mike
You dont give yourself any credit, you need to start loving you sadi, you have to start at ground zero...YOU!!!! I cant even comprehend what kind of man would do something like this, hes lucky im not a close friend with access to you him because i would teach him a life lesson he will never forget. Im disgusted, if you were mine i would be so proud of you and support you 100% and never let you forget how far you come and how far you can go. I would also have quit with you and fought with you until the end.
People dont relize just what we are truly capable of, i think you will find out soon enough. Your gonna pick yourself up, wipe off the dirt, and walk right through fire as you have been since you were 13. No poor "me" its poor him and everyone else who gets in your way. Steam roll right over it and move on. God im pissed and not at you, im pissed that a human and a man at that who claims to love and care could do this at this time in your life. If you need ANYTHING, ask.
Mike
Reading your comments about your situation and reading people's answers is helping me right now.
I live in MA and am alone in NYC because I came to see a musical.
I take ambien and klonapin, which are prescribed, but am abusive. I got sober when I was 31, stayed sober 15 years, had med problems, got hooked on meds and have been abusive for about 10 years. The pills were a problem always, but when I drank, that was my drug of choice. So I went the AA route and now I need to get to NA.
So I can't sleep, as I have run out of meds and don't see my doctor, who knows I have issues and is helping me try to cope. I cannot be as honest with her yet as I can be here.
That is because you are so open and honest and people responding are non-judgmental and keep reinforcing you are NOT a piece of...... That is what I feel about myself, and I beat myself up regularly.
So I just pretended all those supportive responses were what people would say to me.
But right now my body is screaming out for a pill, and I don't have one, and I am not even home.
But your story made me realize that my suffering is not unique. I do well for periods of time, then get stressed out and start abusing again.
And my issues are nothing compared to yours. I need to cope, but I also need to admit I need help.
Hang in there, and what someone said about other relationships....that is so true, esp. if you have not been alone since you were 16. I am 57 and got divorced from someone who I drank with since I was 18 and married. I continued to drink for 4 years after the divorce, until I realized that replacing him wasn't going to help me.
But anyway, thank all of you for making things like this forum. When I got sober, there was nothing like this. It was good I went to lots of meetings. But sometimes it is hard to go to that first mtg.
I am just babbling because I am all stressed, but anyway, wanted to post and at least let you know that your sharing is helping me.
I live in MA and am alone in NYC because I came to see a musical.
I take ambien and klonapin, which are prescribed, but am abusive. I got sober when I was 31, stayed sober 15 years, had med problems, got hooked on meds and have been abusive for about 10 years. The pills were a problem always, but when I drank, that was my drug of choice. So I went the AA route and now I need to get to NA.
So I can't sleep, as I have run out of meds and don't see my doctor, who knows I have issues and is helping me try to cope. I cannot be as honest with her yet as I can be here.
That is because you are so open and honest and people responding are non-judgmental and keep reinforcing you are NOT a piece of...... That is what I feel about myself, and I beat myself up regularly.
So I just pretended all those supportive responses were what people would say to me.
But right now my body is screaming out for a pill, and I don't have one, and I am not even home.
But your story made me realize that my suffering is not unique. I do well for periods of time, then get stressed out and start abusing again.
And my issues are nothing compared to yours. I need to cope, but I also need to admit I need help.
Hang in there, and what someone said about other relationships....that is so true, esp. if you have not been alone since you were 16. I am 57 and got divorced from someone who I drank with since I was 18 and married. I continued to drink for 4 years after the divorce, until I realized that replacing him wasn't going to help me.
But anyway, thank all of you for making things like this forum. When I got sober, there was nothing like this. It was good I went to lots of meetings. But sometimes it is hard to go to that first mtg.
I am just babbling because I am all stressed, but anyway, wanted to post and at least let you know that your sharing is helping me.
I'm sorry Lisa that all this is coming down on you all at once when it rains it pours. Your Hubby is a coward and in due time you will come to see that and thank your lucky stars. My heart goes out to your kids but at least they will not see the destruction of their Dad on a daily bases due to his active addiction and you being the nucleus of the family and the only one actively working to better it, he dose not have a chance against you...
As far as the slip mark it remember it and put thee devil behind thee and just move on a glitch nothing more. You are far from a piece of cr$p don't beat yourself up dose no good but waste energy. Tomorrow is a new day... Take care
As far as the slip mark it remember it and put thee devil behind thee and just move on a glitch nothing more. You are far from a piece of cr$p don't beat yourself up dose no good but waste energy. Tomorrow is a new day... Take care
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