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14183940 tn?1433536902

through with detox.. finally feeling better

To anyone that has seen me here before, I don't respond back, I get lost in my thoughts and struggle to express. I get a sense of personal security when I come here. Truthfully I don't know why I couldn't stop, I hope I have support here that can help me stay on the right track, along with other support groups, I'm tired of this. At 21 I've been robbed, had people try and kill me, seen way to many things that I never thought I would, did things I never thought I would. I'm just a lost kid wandering why I struggle so hard with this addiction. I constantly wonder why. I'm here for support, I never want to go back to heroin/oxy/hydro/ any substance. I can't handle anything without falling off the deep end. I'm clean today, and would just like some support...
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1551327 tn?1514045867
This is a great place for support especially in the beginning.  Often those (including me) find this site and immediately feel comfortable because in the beginning a lot of factors are against us.  One of the biggest factors is having lost respect and faith from most people we know.  We ask for one more chance as many times as we can get forgiven but there is always that last time and eventually noone believes in us.  They can seem cold but they are just protecting themselves.
Then we find Medhelp and this is a chance to communicate with people who do not know our whole history.  They have not lost faith in us becuase they know as I do what brings people here and have learned to be patient and kind with newcomers who are desperate for someone to be patient and kind to them.  Don't worry about not being able to express yourself fully yet.  That will come in time when you have had a clear mind for a bit.
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14183940 tn?1433536902
Apologize I didn't know it posted my comment, I wrote the answer thinking it didn't go through. I'm sorry about that
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14183940 tn?1433536902
I'm looking for happiness and peace. It may be a while before I get that on my own. I'm asking for support. I'm going to meetings in surrounding areas tonight, will find a sponsor. But I've been to 4 rehabs, 2 strictly detox centers. I'm no stranger to this, I watched my dad try and try and try.. Then I tried and tried. I know willpower isn't enough. Meetings last an hour, that leaves me with 23 alone. I don't know if your comment was intended to be rude or not, I assume not, but if your asking truly, then I'll tell you, happiness, peace, and extra support to strengthen my confidence and keep my reminded and a place to celebrate little things till I can achieve both on my own.. Thanks
Helpful - 0
7163794 tn?1457366813
COMMUNITY LEADER
I'm going to assume that you've just gotten out of a detox center.  Did they NOT stress to you how important aftercare was going to be?  This isn't a joke....it's real.  This is where you get live, one on one support from people that understand exactly where you are?  Are you attempting to do this only on willpower? Because if so, IMO your setting yourself up for possible failure.  I understand you don't respond back, so I guess I wonder what your looking for?  Now that the drugs(for the most part b/c I think it takes months if not years to truly get all of that **** out of our systems) are out of your system.....what are you looking for? Honestly, not being sarcastic, what do you want?
Helpful - 0
2 Comments
Just happiness. Peace. I'm going to be going to meetings in my area. Try a sponsor. But that didn't work out, took me back to detox after my 4th trip to rehab. So I'm just searching for support here as well. Because sometimes I have trouble calling my sponsor after a very troubled day. Meetings only last an hour. There's another 23 alone. I'm just looking for support here as well to finally do this. I don't know if your comment was intended to be rude, but I am looking for happiness, peace, and support till I find it. Thanks for your concern.
LOL....so totally not laughing at you - with you!!!  I felt the same way about calling another grown person to discuss my wanting to use....I was like, UH, HELL NO!  These are things that take time.
If you don't mind taking a suggestion...go slow....try going to a meeting every day (if possible) for 90 days.  Don't worry about getting a sponser, etc....just start with getting in a groove of going to meetings and listening.  Buy the N/A book and read it.  Make some friends, some allies that you can relate to...your young, there will be plenty of people there your age.  In this race the tortise wins....slow and steady, slow and steady.  I did find happiness and I did honestly find peace from a constantly turmoiled life.  It does get better but you have to give it the time it deserves.  The journey is long, but every bit worth it.  
Wasn't trying to make my comment rude....was trying to really see what you were looking for, that's all.  
Avatar universal
Hey Cj,  I'm sorry you've had such a tough time.  Many of the people here have been in the same place as far as the addiction part goes, myself included. You're making the right choice wanting to get clean.  You're young and have your whole life ahead of you.  You just have to keep pushing.  Things will be better.
Helpful - 0
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