tramadol addiction

[Hopeless55]

I'm addicted to tramadol.  I started taking it in January 1998 and have steadily increased the dose ever since.  My doctor STILL says it's not addictive, and I can't tell him why I wanted to discuss it with him.  He would go to my husband, and that would kill him.  I know it's awful and sound impossible, but I'm taking 10 pills at a time just to maintain my "normal" state.  Without that, I'm severely depressed, achy, sweaty, get jerks in my arms and legs, get totally exhausted, and don't have any motivation to even get out of bed.  My husband thinks it's menopause, but my kids (25 and 28) think I've just lost it all together, don't clean my house any more, don't ever go outside, don't want to do anything, and they think I've just become worthless.  They have no idea.  It makes me so angry that nothing official has ever been said about this drug except that if you have a previous history of addiction, you should stay away from this drug.  I can't imagine anything being harder to kick.  I have no one to talk to about it, and it's out of the question to try and talk to my family.  They would never forgive me or accept the fact that addiction is a "disease."  My daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 2 years ago and has the best and most positive outlook, and she thinks I should be able to do the same, no matter what's causing my "symptoms."  There is nothing positive in my life right now except the people I love, and I can't even attend to them because of this drug.  I've tried taking Vicodin ES for 10 days to help ease the symptoms of withdrawal, but as soon as it's out of my system, the symptoms return.  It's the most awful, depressing feeling in the world, and I feel completely hopeless.

I find it amazing that a few years back, a bottle of Percodan that I got for a root canal sat on my kitchen table for 2 years without being touched.  I finally threw it out.  Now I would do just about anything to ease this pain except go to my family.  They have no patience for weakness, because that's what we've always preached, and I myself always taught them that it's a personal choice to take that first dose, and if you become addicted, it's your own fault.  I'm at a total loss as to what to do.  I just need to know how long it takes to kick this addiction.

[troubleinohio]

Im so glad to see you've come back and wrote such a good bio! and btw i used to do medical transcription from home too! I did it for quite a few years up until i had my first child and have been a stay at home mom ever since.
ANyhow, it sounds like you are well grounded and understand the magnitude of your problem and all it is going to take to achieve the goal of becoming pill free. Its very hard but you can do it. Youve been where I have been many times in my recovery process...its so hard to overcome the initial WD that often time you go back to the drug or a similar one just to be rid of the hell of WD symptoms. THat is the most crucial point, you have to force yourself through it day after day - and there will be days you may want to die its so bad... days where you think there is no way you can take it anymore, you cant do this, and you cave in and take more pills again. That to me was the hardest part to overcome. And I was still feeling pretty crappy at day 12, 14, too I think. I was getting discouraged that I wasnt feeling good yet and wondered if i ever would again. But finally i turned a corner around the end of weeek 2--start of the 3rd week or so.....and now I cant begin to tell you how different things are. I feel so good now. And keep in mind, I do have chronic pain issues (bad back etc) but Ive been doing really good in coping with it now and jsut taking Motrin 800 for it, thats it.! Not even regular tylenol because I figure Ive done enough damage to my poor liver the last couple of years, I want to give it a complete and total rest from acetominophen for as long as possible. So Im not even using regular tylenol anymore.  
Make yourself a plan.... a taper plan, set your goals, write everything down, and then go for it. You can do it. If i quit taking pills anyone can!

[desperate1111]

My story is almost identical to yours. I used to be so active, I had so many accomplishments and so much success. Being addicted to tramadol has been horrible. I thought it kept my mind clear too but it doesn't. My mind got so foggy. I kept forgetting important things. I've been off for 17 days now. I'm on an antidepressant which has started to kick in. I'm feeling so much better. I don't have the pain I had while I was taking pain meds. Best of Luck!

[Hopeless55]

I started menopause at 50 and just turned 56.  I think some of the face flushing and sweats are from hot flashes still, but that seems like a mightly long time for that to go on.  I can go to the grocery store and by the time I walk up and down one aisle with a buggy, my hair is dripping wet, my face is soaked, and sweat is dropping off the tip of my nose.  It's so ridiculous and so embarrassing.  The thing that makes me so angry is that I never even so much as took a Benadryl for sleep or ANYTHING other than vitamins my entire life.  I had a freak hip breakdown when I was 40 and had to have a hip replacement.  I was on a morphine pump for 8 days and then Dilaudid and morphine pills, tapering down to Percocet 10 mg, Vicodin 10 mg, Darvocet, and then Tylenol #3 for a total of 4 months without stopping at all in between, and I never had a problem at all when I stopped taking them. I stopped them because I didn't need then any more.  That was in March 1994.  I didn't have a single withdrawal symptom.  I didn't take anything else for pain until January 1998 when I broke my wrist and had to have it pinned.  I chose Ultram because my doctor said it was new and very safe and not addictive.  He said it would keep you alert, not like narcotics that make you sleepy.  He brought his box of sample medications and gave me 40 that first time..  This same doctor STILL says it's safe.  It's hard to believe if they pay any attention at all to forums like this on any drugs  they prescribe (which I think they all should), I don't think they would ever prescribe it again.  I was so thankful for Ultram because it worked on the pain without the usual side effects like being sleepy or groggy and fuzzy-headed, and they were supposed to be safe.  I could take 1, and the effect would last half a day or more.  I was authorized to take 2 pills (100 mg) up to 4 times a day.  I thought my prayers along with thousands of others in constant chronic pain finally had their answer.  It took about 3 months I guess to get up to 100 mg 4 times a day, but then it was a steady increase to get the same effect.  What I didn't realize was that the pain I was feeling was not increased pain from my joints but withdrawal pains.  If someone had intervened with me at that time, I believe I could have stopped with just the aches and pains.  That's the least of my problem with withdrawals.  I can handle the pain, have always been able to do that with no problem unless it's surgical or really critical.  It's the anxiety, the panicky feeling, the sheer terror of being alone, the heart racing, the sweats, the jerking limbs, the malaise, the fatigue, the lack of motivation to do ANYTHING, and the depression that scares me to death.  I tried taking Xanax to taper, but I have lapses in memory with those or Ativan either one, and I just want to be completely back to normal again.  I hate being controlled by this monster. I sure don't want to get addicted to another drug just to get off this one.  I actually did take Vicodin ES for 10 days trying to get the worst of the withdrawals over with by the time I got through them, thinking it wasn't long enough to get addicted to  Vicodin, but as soon as the Vicodin got out of my system, I was right back where I started.  I've read about suboxone, but I think it's being thrown out there like Ultram was when it was new.   I think the fact that you dissolve it under your tongue instead of swallowing itkeeps it from damaging your liver or kidneys.They say it's so safe that they will give you a 90-day supply, but it's a narcotic just the same, and once you're prescribed it, you're considered officially to be a drug addict.  It's on your permanent records and will never come off.  That can have all kinds of ramifications with your health coverage, getting hired on a new job, carrying the shame with you the rest of your life, and just feeling like you've done the most horrible thing you can do by becoming a druggie.and how you've let the people you love the most down. I konw there are supportive families out there, and mine are to a point butnot for something like this.  When I start off Ultram, I get physically sick, and my precious daughter is the toughest.  She doesn't believe in just lying around groaning and moaning because you're in agony.  She tells me to "GET UP AND MOVE ABOUT MOM...go do something.  You do nothing but complain and lie around all the time.".  I know I can do this, but I know it would be much easier if my family wasn't around.  My son is at the University of Tennessee working on his PhD, and my daughter is in grad school close to home, so she's staying with us right now.  I can understand why professional situations want to get you away from everything you're accustomed to while you were doing the drugs because it's sort of like smoking.  You find yourself in the habit of getting them at certain times and always from the same place even if you don't feel you need them but just to stay feeling safe.

Before all this started, I was extremely active, walked 3-4 miles a day with my daughter or husband, whoever was available, gardened, kept an immaculate home, and also kept a manicured lawn along with my husband.  We'd work all day Saturday in the yard on nice days.  We always had a really nice vegetable garden.  We used to travel to so many places, near and far, and it was one of the things I loved the most about our lives together.  I have no desire now to do anything, but I did tell my husband if anything happens to me to make sure my ashes are scattered on the top of the highest mountain he can find close to our home.

I worked in an office for 25 years for the phone company here, and after all the mergers and buyouts, I had enough seniority to take early retirement, so I did.  I was a lady of leisure for about 2 months and then started getting stir crazy to go back to work.  I studied medical transcription and within 6 weeks, I was proficient, fast, and making tons of money, all from my home.  That was probably a mistake, because I could get out of bed, go straight to work in my pajamas, and go back to bed when I got off.  I never get out of the house, and I konw to be successful kicking this drug, I've got to find other interests.  I used to sew, make all my clothes, made my daughter's clothes, cater weddings, did some beautiful wedding cake designs.  I was always so busy I would just collapse at night to sleep.  Those days weren't so very far back.  I konw that person is inside me somewhere dying to get out, and I'm hoping with a lot of prayers, tears, and determination, I'm going to do this.  You get to that point when you know it's time, and I'm there now.  I won't see another Christmas If I don't stop completely, and I also know once I kick them, I will never place another one in my mouth for as long as I live, not even for the worst pain.  You take Tylenol, and it damages your liver.  You take ibuprofen or Motrin or that category, and it causes renal insufficiency and possibly diabetes.  Aspirin is fairly safe if you don't take too much because it can cause bleeding problems.  As far as I'm concerned, the rest are untouchables!!!

[enemy48]

Listen to Trouble in Ohio on the addiction, warnings, etc.

Talk to me about the menopause while addicted.  At my time, I was already addicted, and it only got worse.......Much Worse!

Are you going through menopause w/this addiction?

[troubleinohio]

well you have come to the right place. Please keep coming here and read as many posts as you can, and write as much as you can. We can help you! You are not alone here.
Im sorry your family is not supportive enough to go to, but I do understand that. Most people in my family are the same way and the ones that are not close minded, I still chose not to tell about my addiction because I was so ashamed. I didnt want to admit it to them and seem lesser a person in their eyes, know what i mean? So i never told anyone about my problem.
Now onto the real issue for you...10 trams at a time, 3 times a day? yikes! You definitely have to stop using, you know that right? You have to stop or you will end up dead. THats something every addict has to realize before they can quit successfully.
With the high dosage you are taking and the particular drug you are taking, you are going to have to do a slow taper though. Tramadol is famous for causing seizures (some people dont realize that you can have seizures WHILE using it as well, particularly if you are on SSRI or MAOI antidpressants and other meds too, but you are at a higher risk of having seizures too if you suddenly stop Tramadol if you take high doses.  Do you have alot of pills left so that you can do a slow taper? Also doing a taper will lessen the severity of your WD symptoms.
Please stick around and arm yourself with knowledge and support. You can do this!  

[Hopeless55]

That's 10 pills at a time, normally twice a day, sometimes 3 times a day.  I know...it's a wonder I'm still alive.

[Victor322]

Hi,
Need some clarification first...is that 10 pills a day or 10 pills per dosing and @ how many times a day?

Thanks,
-Vic