Short introduction of myself, I am an expat living and working in Thailand, spend 18 months in Rwanda as paratrooper in real war, during the slaughtering between hutu's and tutsis. Now this is almost 20 years ago and never had any issues with it.
Now recently I started getting awful nightmares, serious mood swings, aggressiveness for no obvious reason, suicidal thoughts..... So about a month ago I started taking valium since I had bad experiences with xanax, serious withdrawl issues. No the problem with both valium and xamax is that they make me kinda crazy, once I have taken my 10 mg valium, at first I feel a little relaxed but then after an hour or so I start to act weird, I start putting things in places and of course the day after can't find them anymore, my mind starts getting manic, I feel like I want to do all sorts of things that I normally wouldn't do ? I'm not gettting it because I thought it would relax me but it does that only for an hour and then I turn manic....
Years and years no mental problems, my life currently is very good, financially pretty sound, living in the tropics, house with beach view and so on. Sooooo, what is the dang problem in my mind and why isn't the valium calming me down ???
Every day is getting more and more difficult to cope with !
Hopefully somebody can get me some advice because Thailand is not really ready for psychologists and psychiatrists, outhere they still have the idea that someone with a mental issue is just plain crazy in their point of view.
Anyhelp or info much appreciated.