what do i do

[1234456789]

i was on 300mg of methadone fior 16 years im 35 i was happy but because of the stigma i was forced through an intervention with my girlfriend ex and parents to either go to rehab or switch to suboxone. Well I was in fetaposition for a week wanting to die and now a month later I just feel like **** depressed dosent even do hoe i feeel justice thats like saying niagra falls is a urine streemidont know what to do ive discussed it with my dr. tried all kinds of anti depressesents witc just does nothing or make it worse. because of my family going back to methadone isnt an option its a family buisness and i stand to loose millions but i just dont know how much more i can take in6 3 and was goodlooking but ive put onthirty lbs out of shear deppression i feel like its all falling apart, I liked my mellow highs I functioned much better that way. suboxone is like a alchoholic tryin g to feel better by drinking odouls. I t basically just pisses you off. Anyone out there like me would xanax or anything help? p,s. im taking24mg a daysub

[kim715]

I was on methadone also,nowhere near the amount you were on though,and I was on it for almost 2 years.I also don't have any experience with sub,so I am not sure if what I am going to say will be helpful or not.
Anyway,I went cold turkey off of 25 mgs of methadone over a year ago and I dealt with depression for a long while.I don't know if it was due to being numb to emotion for so long because of the methadone and the hydros before the methadone.Or if it was depression because of all the things I had done while using and all the things I missed out on because of using.Most likely it was a combination of both.What I am trying to say is,it was a long process for me,dealing with the depression.Honestly I didn't start to feel better and begin enjoying life here  and there for about 6 weeks.Again I don't know how the sub works.I guess after all this rambling what I really wanted to say to you is that it's ok to feel the way you do.I know it's horrible but it's not uncommon.Meaning for what you are going through,it's normal,we all go through it,and it doesn't last forever,eventhough it feels like it will.
Attend some meetings,talk to someone,keep posting here.We all need all the help and support we can get.Hang in there my friend,it does get better....All the best to you...Kim

[TysonRed]

Yeah why was your methadone dose so high, taking 300mgs sounds like it was prescribed from a doctor for pain not you going to a clinic. If you've been going to a clinic for all these years they seriously messed up letting your dose get that high. Anyways Ive had many battles with methadone although the highest I got was 140mgs/daily, but this last time I tapered down and switched over to suboxone. The weird thing about sub was that I actually felt better the less I took, I only started at 8mgs/daily, but when I got down to 2mgs daily it made me feel great. I never really got high but it did give me a huge energy boost which is what I like. Some sort of benzo may help but thats just another potential addiction that you dont want any part of. So just from my experience with sub when I got down to a lower dose, overall I felt considerably better. I also put on little over 40lbs when I was on sub, basically because I was doing nothing besides lying around all day. The one thing that really helped me was getting into the gym and working out, it started out with physical therapy then I just kept it up and have lost all of the weight plus some and I feel great. I quit suboxone after 18wks last Oct.20, so I have a little over a year clean. Dont give up on looking for anti-depressants that could work for you, I literally went through about 10 different ones before I found one that actually helps a bit with my severe anxiety, I know take Luvox CR for the last couple months and it does work for me, point being I had basically given up on finding an AD so many of them made me feel worse or had bad side effects but you may just find something that helps you out. Like I said before my main drug of choice was also methadone, Ive gone through 4 detoxes off varying amounts, the last was when I had to taper down to 30mgs before switching to sub. You got to figure this out with your doctor, maybe adjust your dose of sub, its not like other opiates where you take more and feel better and like I said I felt the best when I got down to a lower dose. Im not sure of how you switched over when coming from 300mgs of methadone, thats alot of meth, but maybe a dose adjustment could help. I promise with time things will get better, you need to try and stay strong and focused on your treatment and recovery. If I can help in any way please let me know, keep posting here this forum has so much great information that can benefit you through this process. Like I said above the best thing I did was start excercising, started out just walking my dog every morning then slowly progressed into light workouts in physical therapy, eventually into regular gym visits 3-5 times a week and I cant tell you how much it did for me mentally, I felt so much better as far as the depression went, along with obviously feeling much more physically capable. I wish you all the best, let us know how things go, take care.

[gnarly_1]

hey dude...wow 300mg of methadone thats huge...you are an amazing person to
just quit that much methadone ...I dont no much about sub other then its an sob to get off of but im not quit shure if your ready to be drug free or not...you have to do it for yourself, not for family or g/f, and you expressed the desire for the feeling it gave you
if your still looking for a high you my need to reevaluate your situation and I know
sub dont get you high although ive herd of people abusing it ...time to do some soul searching dude....if your an addict and still trying to feed your addictive behavior
you can find help here...but only if you realy want it...there are many here that still use
and are still on the fence with what to do about it....sobrity can be a scary place
if you fear the side effects of withdrawals and the fact that you have to go threw life without a high, but coming here is a good first step..I to have just walked off a 150mg
a day methadone habit by tapering took 8 /1/2 mo but I got 13 days clean and it
is so so worth it good luck to you with whatever you decide and keep posting
and reading the posts..im sure you will be able to relate.....Gnarly

[Lisa034]

Wow 300mgs of methadone a day!!!  What led you to methadone? How did they bring you off the done? As far as the sub goes how are you taking it?  I do not know a whole lot about the sub but I dont think you should be feeling this way on it.  Its crazy because most of the dr out there giving rx for the sub dont know what in the heck they are doing.  Methadone is a big gorilla to get off your back, belive me I know and so do some of the others on this site.  You did not become an addict overnight and you are not gonna get better overnight.  Calm down slow down take a breath.  You need some help sweetheart.  We will be here to support you but try to get out and go to a NA meeting.  It really does help.  I just got home from a meeting and I have never left a meeting still feeling like ****.  I am always inspired.  You sit in those rooms and listen and there are people that say things that you think "Damn how did they know that, thats my story they are telling" or you think wow maybe I do not have it sooooo bad and if they can do well so can I!!!!  They speak of things like having a clean and sober and honest life and it makes me want what they have....  Sweetheart you can do this.  You just need some support from people who know what you are going thru.  Your family and your girlfriend if they are not addicts they can never understand fully what you are going thru. Try it out it may help and you might like it.
I will be praying for you
Lisa
Jacksonville,FL

[kiylen]

Hey, I sent you a private message too.  Check your messages.

[Holliee]

hello i sent you a private message check your inbox when you get chance. Its on your profile page at top right and message me back when able.
H