when will the anxity stop? just reordered pain meds just incase

[lori5997]

been up all nite past 3 nites.yest. they put me on ativan which seemed to make me worse, then called in and they gave me ambiean which i took last nite and lsept maybe 2hrs,  ginally an hr agao I took an ativan hopeing the combination would work. almost went to my mom to crawl in w/ her but we're not close at all and i don't trust her it would just be a physical body to hold me. i left a message w/ my dr. that i want to stop (3 days ago??) but just called the pharmacy line and they said it is refillable.. yest. make myself schedule an appot for a masssage which I have no idea how I'll get to, need to calm down--then i think i need to try and find a mtg. I'm so sad, all the thoughts of bad things i've done just keep coming through my mind, i feel so lost  i really need everyone who remembers to help me know so at least i have an idea when i can feel ok.  thank you ahead of time, imgonna try to lay down so I don't pick up those awful pill tomroww, Lorii

[micheleTX]

You will be so pleased in a few days that you will have so much energy to devote to your son, maybe you had plenty on the pills, but this energy will be different.  I cant wait to hear you talk about it !!  have a great evening and just relax :)

[lori5997]

that must be so hard, i was getting to the point too , where i was always tired.  good for you for not giving up on her, so mnay people would. need to start supper and spend some time w/ my son who been pretty deprived the past few days, he's such a good kid, take care and keep posting

[micheleTX]

we've all been there lori.  It helps me to try to help others because I know what this disease did to me over the years, and how much better it is now that I am clean.  I want to shout it out because everyone I know takes these drugs and hasn't realized what it is doing to them yet.  You can only help people who want to help themselves.  I can talk till Im blue in the face to a friend of mine, and its like she has earplugs in, so I dont even try.  When she decides that she has been "sick" enough then I will be here for her.

Every time I call her now, Ive know this woman for 37 years.  She was my parents very best friend since I was 11 years old, anyway when I call her house all I ever get (always) is "shes sick and laying down".  Im tired of it.  I cant even talk to my friend anymore :(  but
she will hit her bottom soon enough I hope then maybe I can talk to her.

sorry for the long post, I just get frustrated that I get frustrated  

keep on keepin on, praying for you :)

[lori5997]

Thank you for all you support. ijust got home from the massage and feel worse, than I saw that I had "all these" posts to me and it gave me energy to put the grocereies away cuz i looked forward to reading them. I think i would have picked that refill up if it weren't for you guys, i honestly have no one else. i've found more support and understanding here than all the churches i've been to combines, please keep posting and telling me anything you want about yourself or what might help, I'll be thinking of you, Lori

[LIZZIE LOU]

your son's illnesses alone should be motivation enough for you to get off these meds.  he needs you...a strong you...a clear headed you.

there will come a day when you can work on repairing your relationship with your family.  in the meantime...accept it for what it is...do what YOU have to do.

now hold your head up...stop feeling sorry for yourself...and COMMIT to making this happen.  say goodbye to your old life and hello to a better one.  good things come to those who help themselves ;)

[avisg]

here is the thing there is no "just in case" if you have them you will take them .we all have struggles in life but belive it or not you will be able to deal with the changles in there life without the drugs so much better .There is some discomfort in  wd but it sounds like they have given you meds to help you wont go months w/o sleep I dont know anybody that has gone that long you many not get as much sleep but you dont go without any ..

[dominosarah]

We want you to be here.  Please dont ever forget you are not alone here.  We all know what you are going thru with the anxiety and depression.  Keep posting.  You will get thru this.  You are stronger than you think.      sara

[gnarly_1]

HI Lori ...first off I feel for you....the anxiety was my worst symptom to and it su#ks ..I was given meds by my dr and had the same results as you ...they dident work...I dont think there really is any thing you can take to get rid of the anxiety completely wile your in withdrawals but a hot bath goes a long way to help....like the other poster say get out and go for a walk if you can...I found just laying on the couch with some soft music in the background going helped when I couldn't do any thing else..just hang in there it dose get better with time ...your all ready 4 days into it you should be breaking thew to the other side soon...dont get the refill and have to start the whole process over again ...keep the hard earned ground you have fought for over the last 4 days...you can do this..it is so much better once you break thew top the other side...you will have your life back and it is so so worth it in the end ..keep pushing forward and post when you need support...there is a lot of caring people out here that want to see you succeed
good luck and God bless....Gnarly      

[micheleTX]

those are all great vitamins/minerals that will help you alot!  especially the pot/mag, that mix helps to detox your system faster and also replace the potassium we lose while on the pills.  They deplete alot of our vitamins.  Good for you!  Get you some protein drinks or gatorade too, to replace the electrolytes, it will help.  Continued success to you :)

[exhydrohead]

I have hidden my addiction from everyone up to this point,  only aided by my income and being able to buy off the street to a very happy dealer who made a killing off of me, I don't have any friends who use thank God. I am definitely looking forward to going to NA meetings,  I have been going to AA for my drinking and have been "sober" for 3 months or so from alcohol, but I probably need to reset my real sobriety date. I don't want to get on antidepressants, and I take about 15 vitamins /day which I think will stabilize my depression:  St Johns wart, vit. E, b, c, d, a, milk thistle,  tyrosine, zinc, probiotic,  calcium,  magnesium,  potassium,  glucosamine, fish oils and a few I can't remember without looking in my vitamin bag.

[micheleTX]

To Nate: Congratulations man!  You sound wonderful, and guess what it just keeps gettin better and better.  I didn't feel as good as you sound for 2 weeks, and I was taking approx. the same amts as you.  Isnt it great?  Keep exercising, it really helps!  And have you thought of any aftercare?  NA or something similar is really helpful, they say, to keep off those devils!!  Anyway, much luck to you for continued success, and keep posting, it really helps me to try to help others! :)

To Lori:  I hope you can find some relief for your anxiety.  Can you talk with your doctor again and see if he can offer anything that may work for you?  an anti-depressant or something?  I wish you all the luck in the world too, and pray for your success in this :)

[lori5997]

thank you so much!  I think i'll make some coffee, forgot and it's almost noon, quit smoking and hydros w/in a couple wks better not shock my system too much! did you take nahthing for anxiety?  anti-depressant? i've got "savella" heer i haven't started yet, and ambien and ativan just seem tomake it worse, you guys mean so much to me. to contribute all this time is unbelievable, take care and stay in touch please, Lori

[exhydrohead]

I am on my 7th day off of anywhere from 60 to 100 mg Vicodin/day for around 6 months, and i must say: it is the best thing I have done with my life!!! I felt like absolute death by the third day, I honestly didn't even realize I had a problem until I got online and started reading this forum,  my life has been slipping away right in front of me since being on these pills and I didn't even care, as long as I was popping Vicodin everything else really stopped to matter in my life. I went on a family trip with 100 10mg stashed in my bag, stopped taking them on Easter Sunday and flushed them all down the toilet on Day 3. I was a complete mess for 5 days. Everyone thought I had the flu bad. I'm talking about NO energy! No sleep! Cold sweats! Miserable,  felt like I was dying, the runs, irratable, life was hopeless,  oh and did I mention the depression! !?? My lord the depression,  worse than anything I had experienced in my entire life times 10 and then some, I would think about mistakes I've made, anything bad you could think of,  I felt worthless as a whole,  I think people underestimate the miserable depression. ..... then, on day 6, wow! Woke up, still very groggy after only 5 hours of sleep, had some coffee, then POW!!! Life, an infusion of energy,  hopefullness, clarity and happiness I haven't felt since starting those ****** pills. I exercised,  associated with people,  and felt like an entirely new person.   Day 7, today, got out of bed, drank coffee,  went jogging, feel like 90% of me  and I couldn't be happier and I will never touch. those pills again! :) I drank tons if water, followed the "Thomas" thing as close as possible,  lots of baths etc..  but everyone trust me: its worth it!! The few days of misery are but a thing of the past and I have my life to look forward to again: ) hope this helps someone out there,  and would love to help anyone who needs it!!
Nate, 29 yr old male, starting life again

[lori5997]

thank you so much.  myface is red and swollen and tears keep pouring down my face, my poor son, no father, aspbergers disease, brittle juvelnie diabetes,only child,(now has 3 yr old sister) trouble at school (now i'm home schooling him which is a joke, crying all the time, inbed) and my brothres and parents just ignore us, very cold peope. if eel like an orpahn. , like i was born into the wrong world. I need some relief but am too anxious tocall my dr. again.  please pray or think about me or whatever youbelieve in cuz i really don'twantto be here. thank you Lori

[exhydrohead]

I am on my 7th day off of anywhere from 60 to 100 mg Vicodin/day for around 6 months, and i must say: it is the best thing I have done with my life!!! I felt like absolute death by the third day, I honestly didn't even realize I had a problem until I got online and started reading this forum,  my life has been slipping away right in front of me since being on these pills and I didn't even care, as long as I was popping Vicodin everything else really stopped to matter in my life. I went on a family trip with 100 10mg stashed in my bag, stopped taking them on Easter Sunday and flushed them all down the toilet on Day 3. I was a complete mess for 5 days. I'm talking about NO energy! No sleep! Cold sweats! Miserable,  felt like I was dying, the runs, irratable, life was hopeless,  oh and did I mention the depression! !?? My lord the depression,  worse than anything I had experienced in my entire life times 10 and then some, I would think about mistakes I've made, anything bad you could think of,  I felt worthless as a whole,  I think people underestimate the miserable depression. ..... then, on day 6, wow! Woke up, still very groggy after only 5 hours of sleep, had some coffee, then POW!!! Life, an infusion of energy,  hopefullness, clarity and happiness I haven't felt since starting those ****** pills. I exercised,  sociated

[micheleTX]

Hi lori.  You know, if you can stay away from those pills and just give it a little more time, your body and brain will take over the job of doing what you thought the pills were doing.  Give you energy, relieve the stress.  We have it in us, all of us do, natural pain killers, stress killers, etc..we just cover them up with drugs and then they don't work anymore.  When you get a little more clean time in, you may be amazed how your stress with be relieved.  That's all I can offer.  I sure hope you can wait it out a few more days, your pain will ease, and so will your stress.  Great luck to you and be strong :)

[LIZZIE LOU]

yes...there IS light at the end of the tunnel.  this makes me think of the "near death" experiences that are talked about.  there you are...in the middle...and you have this bright light ahead of you where you will find peace...but still the other end is pulling you back.  which way do you go?  do you fight for that peace or do you just give up and continue down that road of destruction?  that life for you is NOT death...IT IS LIFE ! ! !

anxiety is part of the process...no easy way around it.  one thing that you must remember is that anxiety thrives on fuel.  the more fearful you become...the worse your anxiety will be.  try your damndest to focus on other things...getting out and walking is wonderful (if you are able).  i dont know of a psychiatrist, worth his weight in gold, that does not recommend walking for anxiety and depression.

you can do this lori.  just know that everything you are going through is nOrMaL and will soon pass.  each day that you make it is one day closer to your goal.

[lori5997]

I just need to see some lite at the end of the tunnel/  did you guys have this debilitating anxiety?  what helped?  I've tried ativan and ambien and they didn't.  I don't want to keep on the pain pills but I want to be able to feed my kids, sleep, and talk. should i post a new question?

[lori5997]

I'm an emotional wreck, i've got underlying health issues, my son has mild autism and has brittle diabetes, have a 3 yr old and am sinle w/ no family or outside hellp.  we sold our hourse (way to bitter cold for my fibro) and she takes possession april 30.  I fly down this firday to look for aprt.and cannot even sit up for more than a few minutes w/o laying down. i could go on and on but everyone's had hard life, i've been readin (b/4goin off the pills) about ptsd and i'm sure I have it. i've had so much stress in my life and no one to express it with. in a very samll town w/ no support groups, counselor, even health food store for relaxation teas and vitamins. in3 weks i have to drive cross country to get my dtr and if i'm in this shape i don't know what her dad will do, he's very vindictive. ihear of people not sleeping for months, i've alwasy been a wreck afer noe nite not sleeping. I just need peace so badly, i need aplan, someone tohug me that i can talk to, thank you I'm not saying I'll pick them up, ireally don't want to....Lori
iv'e been fighting bronchities, strep throat, and pnemonia atfer quiting smoking about 3 wks ago also

[beatingthis]

If you pick them up, you start again. Don't pick them up.

Terry

[LIZZIE LOU]

"just reordered pain meds just in case"    what does just in case mean?