why am i so trustworthy

[danksmokin_hippie3]

had a small gathering tonight since i was gettin down....got wasted left my bookbag )with all my weed and pills and money evrything) with i usually keep put up...but im pretty wasted and wasnt thinkin  there were abt 15 people over i kno all of thrm but dont trrust  em all....we were in the basement where my big sceen is playin call of duty 4 and i went to mmy room with my girl well a girl for a lil while left my bag out and when i came back down stairs ...it was convineintly empty accept what was in the back pocket guess they didnt find that....a box of baggies man i have been ripped of by friends so many times its my own fault.....god i swear im not a bad person...karma jus fuckes me over evey chance it gets...i shouldnt have had left 2500$ worh of dope n money out but didnt think the people i had in my house buyin my pills smokin my pot eatin n drinkin my food would do u like that your "Friends" sorry probally shouldnt have even said all this..im jus so fuckin mad its vent like this or hurt someone or myself......wtf why me i had enough fuckin problem with out gettin jacked....at least they didnt get all my **** jus my mobile bag.... not my safe oe i would be killin someone,.........jvfjkbdsvojhvdskjvbhsldbvbvbkkhvbsjvoavoijsvslkajfsjfk **** i neeed to stop this ****

[addictedme]

Alot of addicts are people pleasers,,maybe we develop this thru kissing drs and dealers ***** to get what we want or maybe its a part of addiction. Its one of the things you deal with in recovery.

[danksmokin_hippie3]

thanx everyone i know what i need t do,...but doin it its the hard party....im jus recently beeen gettin back on dope and sellin ....when on subs all i do is take xaninx with isnt good but my sub doc has me on them and i smoke alot....been to treatment twice ,,,,i mean i have come along way but jus took a year step back i n the past month.....i didnt do anything but subs xanix and smoke for 10 months.....ijus in thw last month or so i started back on the dope.....but everytime i doo good and get clean for a few months....i **** up every time.......thanx eveyone .... i know  how the leahes worl TRUSt me but whel they are sexy subductive girls its hard to be an *** hole....i dunno oxy's and pretty girls are my weakness.....thanx everyone  i usually wouldnt have ever put something like that on the internet but glad i did .....and trust me i know the road im on.. im jus a lil stuborn ...

[newmanagment]

reminds me of the old commercial- i do coke so i can work more, so i can make more money, so i can do more coke , so i can work more, so i can .....
stop this ride i want off!!

[worried878]

Like a merry go round..but it is not fun like when I was little...round and round....gets to be such a hassle...dangerous and unhealthy hassle...keep posting

[Oxykicker]

Never have been an addict, but was given oxycontin by doctor,and boy it was hard to W/D cold turkey, so what it must be like for you I cannot comprehend, can you truly look at yourself and say 'I like this Lifestyle', look at the **** that surround you, and you were suprised and hurt your 'stash' was stolen, 'friends' lol, my ******* arse, they are just leeches, just wait til you have no more 'gear' to hand out, 'oh where have my 'friends' read 'cunts' gone,.

As someone who has seen people die from addiction I implore you to get straight, it's the hardest thing in the world to do, but boy is this world a better place without all that ****, go on dank give it some thought.

We are all here and waiting to help.

[newmanagment]

when i had my daughter , i left the hospital, and went to "celebrate" with friends. ended up being gone for 3 days. when my wife called , she had just got home from hospital, someone had kicked in our door and robbed the house. at the time i was growing "dro" in the basement , they took 30 plants that were ready. they took my safe with pistols and a little cash. i flipped , grabbed a shovel , and dug up another gun i had waxed up and buried. remember, like you im not in the right mind at the time. my neighbor gave me a description, all i remember is red coat. so im walkin the hood at 3 am, and i see a RED COAT. i approach these two and ask for a light. when red coat reaches in his pocket. i punch the other one and stick the gun in red coats mouth. sooo glad i didnt pulll that trigger, this would not be here if i did.
my point is this, when in our addiction, we make rash and stupid decisions because we WANT instant gratification like we get with our drugs. you gotta write that bag off, as well as the person that took it, as well as the rest of the people in your house.
we all want to help you here, but you have to want to help yourself first. feeling down is part of the process,having a party is the wrong way to go to feel better. read my journal bro, it will continue to get worse every week till you wake the f*ck up and change your life around.. much love

[krashing_now]

listen to troubleinohio I found myself kicking drugs in the tombs in new york city ,  and if you  knew me I look like  someone who would never go to jail , but us addicts were  good at hiding our  addiction , or so we thing , it was the worst thing ever , But I do credit  that for changing many of my behaviors, I still struggle I still fk up but never  like i did , it took  3 times , I also went to rikers island for  a short time to , if you call 3 monthes short it wasn't to me
read and listen Please

[spacecadette]

I don't think this is about karma.  It's about choices. And luck favors the prepared.  Good luck....Keep posting.

[troubleinohio]

magi was playing momma to ya, and Im gonna play MEAN MOMMA to ya now, lol...listen...these are not friends of yours. Get rid of them. Even if you have to be a loner for along time its better than being dragged down and ruining your life by going to prison. ALthough to me it also seems you are your own worse enemy by far, way worse than your so called friends. If you dont stop this lifestyle immediately you WILL end up in JAIL OR DEAD, no doubt about it. Do you care? thats the big money question. It doesnt take a fortune teller to see the future. You are living way beyond dangerously.

You use multiple drugs, you've OD'd, youre puking up blood- you think this might be a wake up call? I hope so.

Your "friends" stole your stash and you talk about getting a gun......do you want to spend the rest of your life in prison? are your drugs that important to you that youre willing to go to jail for them? Detoxing in jail is not fun by the way, Ive heard.

You have to stop this. NOW. You also need to see a doctor to find how bad youre bleeding inside. do you want to die? do you care? I hope so.
Im not trying to sound preachy or be a bittch, but i know an END STAGE of the game addict when I see one, and you are there right now, man.      

[feohmoon]

There are many decisions that must be made once you opt to quit...the drugs are not the only thing you have to stay away from...there are certain people, places and things that we must seperate ourselves from.

If you truly feel it is karma, then you must realize that once better decisions are made...your luck will improve.  Often that is the way we know we are on the right track.....when things begin to fall into place.  

Best of luck and hopefully the weekend will improve for you.

[flmagi]

I'm gonna sound like your mother here, sorry..... but these "friends" are active addicts and if you're gonna hang out with these people and you continue to sell it, use it and have it in your possesion, this is how your life will continue. Until you go to jail, institution or die.   You shouldn't be upset or surprised that these "friends" stole your stuff...you should expect it,  it's what addicts do.
You're gonna need to get rid of these friends if you really want anything to change. I know thats a hard thing to do, but they're not really your friends. You know that don't you? They're just there for the high. Tell them you're gonna get clean and go to N/A, and see how many of them are still there by your side, to support you and help you do it.

[danksmokin_hippie3]

god i have to change some **** ....i havent sold pills in months till recently need sum money.... i knew i couldnt sell them anf not take them i was right.....now im back off suboxone and on oxy again jus got robbed........why why why why me???

i kno i dont neeed to be around them but its sooo hard when easy $$ is roght there .............grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i cant go though night like tonight again ill be dead or in jail....dosnt it suck when u trust someone do everything for them give them the shirt of your back and they steal from u.....people u have know for 10 years ,,...im alwayse gettin ****** over...i mean dont get me wrong i handle my bizz.... buts ts alwayse people close to me....i mean if they need it i would gladly fronted them sumthing hooked em up...but they had to take it....i had beeen smokin and hookin everyone up alll night and they take my ****............



i jus dunno its my dumb *** fault

[danksmokin_hippie3]

more yello with a lil blood not much ...not too bad im not at that point ....i have had my share of overdose list 4 friends from it.....eas there 2 of the times........it alwayse goes from bad to worse when you play in the dope game...i have alwayse had the access to anything and everything for good deals and have to suport my habbits soo have been grinding since i was 14 on and off.....its as addicting as dope i think....**** like what happend tonight is jus part of the game ....i didnt know it i should have posted that dont like admitting **** like that hope noone narks or anything,,,,,,jus had to post it insted of gettin a gun and goin after the fuckin  ******* that got me but karma is a bitxh he will get his....and if they were smart they woulda gone for the dafe....not jus my bag ....i would be ****** then and goin after someone ,,,,,,

[ross_seattle]

I've been reading yuor post and stuff this weekend.  Things seem to be going from bad to worse for you man.  I"m sorry to hear it.  Hope things turn around for you.  Could be worse though, after I get halfway through reading that post I thought a gun was gonna come out at some point.  Peace Bro, things might get better if you keep posting on this board.  bTW how much blood were you puking, that sounds serious.