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Avatar universal

wtf!!!!!!!

Hello,ive responded to post from others hoping i helped im 8 days clean but having a ruff evening,my restless legs are all but gone my back is still tense but managable i slept 7 hours last night.i woke up alittle tense with my normal aches wich my normal morning was hope and skip to the bathroom open my cool little pouch grab a friend swing by the fridge to grab a dr pepper,jump back in bed and wait my 20-30 minutes for my day to start,4.5 years has been long enough ive gone 8 days welcoming every pain and every feeling that i deserve,im not hiding the pain will keep me from coming back. My goal is 14 days i already passed my first of 7 days wich i set because i read here a bunch of people felt better at 7-8 days wich is very true,but i think i just had a slight anxiety attack wich got my heart pumping and i could feel it in my head i came back here to get an answer but since i started writing this it has gone away so i answerd my own question,ive got alot of help here and i hope ive helped in return,in my normal life im a cocky jerk lol but am as human as they come i wish i would have posted daily on my progress as that was what i was looking for when i came here i wanted to know what to expect at daily stages for me setting time goals has been huge i make it to one and aet another,,,,,here is my run down day one,last 10-325 norco at 3 pm withdrawls started within 4 hours as i was taking one every 4-5 hours,i never slept was freezing cold, aching,sweating.i had 4 zanex bars that i got to help me get thru this i took one peace of a 4 bar to try and sleep fyi i hate zanex but i beeded to relax,,after about 2-3 hours i woke up and was up all night wich means i fell asleep at 9 woke up at 12 and was up all night,had to get up at 6 to go to work felt like death coild barley walk yawning every couple minutes and freezing,,fyi keeping a heating pad under your back really helps with the cold a?d aches i would lay on it to get warm and then move it under my but and it helped with my legs aching ,,,for ke my legs and tense upper back has been the worst pain i feel like there is acid flowing under my skin ,,,wich is what makes me want a pill to know that in 20 minutes i could feel fine is what makes me want to take one,this is my second time around the first time i went to my doctor and he gave me gabapintin for the pain and cembalta for my mind ,,i felt great took them when i left his office and never looked back until one day i figured if it was that easy to quit i could have a few and be fine?? Well here im am that is why im not taking anything to help myself i want to feel everything it will keep me clean as i will never ever go thru this **** again,,anyway back to my timeline day 2-3 were the worst freezing hurting all over my mind racing,but i finally had a awesome strech it felt so good i kept trying for another but you cant make yourself stretch unfortunatly,now ive been at work all week thru this and the only thing that got me thru was monster energy drink called rehab ive never drank energy drinks so when i was shopping them i thought rehab was ironic so i went with it ,day 4 was alittle better emotions got me and i was mad,crying, depressed but never thought of taking a pill ,ive made it to day 8 with 8 in my bathroom i figure if i cant quit with them in my house i cant quit ,,its not like there hard to get,,knowing they were there helped in a weird way ,,day 5 was pretty good i wanted to move around a bit,cleaned my apartment even washed my dog,but i was still on 2-3 hours of sleep per night wich i didnt fight i just put in my headphones and listend to music that moved me emotionaly and reved me up ,plus soaking in hot bath really helps by the way,i didnt and dont want to take anything that will dull pain or slow my body and mind from waking up i figure thats my goal so i dont want to drag it out ive taken advil and melitonin for the tense and pain,,,,nothingwith acetamiphin in it as thats a big part of my addiction,,,and im not feeding this thing anything,,,day 6 started pretty good i took my daughter to breakfast and we weny swimming at the gym for 2 hours plus i sat in the hot tub for a while oddly by the time we left i was so tense in my upper back and head i had to take a couple advil along with melitonin and managed a 1 nap maybe i was just really tired from still no sleep ,,it kindof felt like i stepped back to days 3-4 wich hurt mementaly but my end goal is 14 days so i didnt stress to much about it,,,my doctor says after 14 days your mind is not addicted anymore so thats where i set my goal ,,,day 7 was really good i had energy my mind felt good my legs took a big turn for the better and i slept a solid 7 hours wich was huge ,,,,today day 8 i got woke up by my alarm for the first time ,i laid in bed for a bit,got up clear headed went to work ,was in a good mood but around 330 i crashed hard was really tired and just wanted to lay down wich sucked cause i planed on going to the gym all day. Wich is maybe why i worked myself up i thought i was on the down hill side and got reminded where i really was,wich is ok im still not at my goal so im not expecting anything less but it would have been nice to cut this short,,,in the end its 9 pm day 8 heading to day 9 with an open mind. To all that are going thru this we can all make it you just have to want it,just know what you feel is your mind playing tricks on you try not to take it serously i know its hard as hell but thats what it boils down too,we are playing the ultimate game of patience and we are the ones that started it ,,you got to pay to play sadly its time to pay. Take care ill be around,,ill let yall know about day 9
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Avatar universal
Thankfully,,i could afford my habbit so i didnt have to worry about the money,,,i spent tons tho and it helped me get out of control i didnt really have a down side until i started feeling like pills were making me sick,,,i started having crazy help problems wich i blamed on the pills,,,i could handlehow i was feeling they turned on me in a way,,,they started making me depressed instead of taking depresion away
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Avatar universal
Welcome to day 13 . . . you are doing awesome!  
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4341997 tn?1514588688
LOL kick him to the curb!  i was luck and never had friends that used or sold.....i'd be in financial ruin if i had....i was bad enough with the doctor shopping...lol  which caught up to me.  But it saved my life....
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Avatar universal
Lol my guy was a friend of a friend,,,,who now i call a friend????? Come monday im kickin his ***,,,,well
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4341997 tn?1514588688
oh i hear ya on the money part!  i didn't have an outside dealer...just got all my pills from the pharmacy but i STILL spent tons of money over the years....i don't even want to know how much....i'd be very depressed...lol  
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Avatar universal
Lol heres a fun fact for ya,,,, just it just came to me,,,,i had about 300 bucks in my pocket when i started this my kido has been on spring break all week,,ive musterd up the energy to go do fun stuff with her,,plus eating when i could for the past 13 days and i still got 100 bucks in my pocket. Lol. I cant believe how much money i blew on this **** ,,,if i had it all back obama would look like such an *******!!!!!
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