Ashamed

[Scaredallalone]

Hi all - as I sit her typing all I can do is cry.  I am so ashamed of myself and am at the end of my rope.  Where to begin:  In 1991 I was hit  by a truck.  About ten urs ago my back really started to hinder my everyday life so i found a doctor to try n get some relief so i could live again.  boy do i wish i could go back to that day because i was in much better shape dealing with the pain then i am now trying to get off of the meds.  I TRUSTED my doc and done everything asked of me.  He put me on methadone for the pain, something I never heard of before but like I said I TRUSTED HIM.   At one point I was on 140mg per day but because it was keeping me sleepy all the time I decided to taper  down - I tapered to 2 to 3 every 48 hours (was getting prescribed 6 per day but not taking that much).  I had my life back (for the most part).  In May 2013 my doctor left the practice and new docs came in and took it over.  The first thing I was told was I had to get off the medication and it scared me ******** - what they began to do so I wouldn't WD was replace a roxy 30 for each methadone that was taken.   I have been severely depressed since the summer and just got a letter from the doc that they are shutting down the practice.  I am not sure what lies ahead but I know I want off of this crap and would greatly appreciate ANY suggestions.
Thank you -

[Julia M Aharonov, DO]

There is really no easy way of detoxing from home. I am sorry about the situation that your physicians seem to have gotten you into, but you have come to a point in life when you have realized tat you have to take the responsibility into your own hands and take your life back.   Realization that you have hit the bottom sometimes makes your determination to get clean more serious and lets you get through the tough spots of withdrawals with the help of your commitment. The road up ahead is not easy.  
I have dealt with hundreds of addicts who have all told me horror stories of doing it by themselves.  I would only guess that if are successful in doing it at home you don't end up in my clinic.
Just in case you are curious, it takes us three to four days to detox a patient and get him/her back home drug free and feeling well on Naltrexone therapy (no opiates).
At home, the basic technique is to space out the pills you take on a consistent manner until you take only one at night, than half at night, than every other night and then none.  See if your doctor can write you a prescription for some Requip for restlessness, Neurontin for anxiety and malaise, some Flexeril or Soma for a few weeks for muscle spasms and maybe some Seroquel low dose, for sleep.
Clonidine is very helpful  for the creepy-crawly feeling and control of blood pressure variations. It will make your withdrawals easier.  Valerian and Magnesium is sometimes helpful remedies over the counter.
The residual symptoms of insomnia and depression can last another few months. Thus, it is not easy, but it gets better and better over time and you can look forward to a drug free healthy energetic you in the future. When you take opiates for a long time like you have, your body's physiology has been altered. Your central nervous system has created a multitude of opioid receptors that all are screaming for endorphins (opiates) to fill them, but your body has now forgotten how to make them by itself.  It will take time - two to four weeks at least, for your receptors to down-regulate (for the brain begin to heal) and to start making its own endorphins. Brain heals pretty slowly, so it may take you as long as a couple of months to get rid of feelings of sluggishness, restlessness and depression. The best thing you can do is take good care of yourself, eat healthy food, stay hydrated, keep active and busy. Stay away from sugar, soda, and simple carbs. Do not consume caffeine at least 6 hours prior to bedtime.
Take a look at my blogs about options for detox and recovery. You may also take a look at my clinic website where I also have my blogs and a lot of other info about drug addiction and recovery. Look especially into the blog and the info on Naltrexone therapy after getting clean. It really improves your chances of staying clean for good by cutting down your physical cravings. Look into my clinic website as well. All this can be done by clicking on my name in blue and on clinic logo.
There is a injectable form available now that is covered by all major medical insurances called Vivitrol that you would need to get only once monthly to stay clean. Just keep it in mind for the future. Good luck to you.  

[mardisolrees216]

Oh and you are never alone we are all here for you a firmiliqr friend of addiction

[mardisolrees216]

I now exactly how you feel my addiction began with a car accident and escalated to 13-15 oxycodones a day and if i couldnt get any of those i was on any type of painpill you can think of until i finally got myself into alot of trouble more trouble then i could evwr imagine i fed the pain more then relieved iti finally found help in stuff i didnt believe rehab counceling aa and finally the wonder drug a drug for another dtug suboxenr i t helped alot got me clean a year went by then tramatic stress again caused me to relapse now im back were i started the bottom i am pregnant and addicted to perx yet again the best thing for us to do is seek help go outside ypur cpmfert zone tp a diffrent doctor and get real help replacing meth with roxy i think is way worsr goidluck with everything hope this helped a little