So I've been with my bf for about a year and a half now. When we got together he was addicted to opiates, mostly Norco. He told me that now n then when he can't get his pills he uses heroin. So of course, he began what he claims just 1 line a morning to get by ended up being everyday ALL DAY use. He is a pathalogical liar so of course he did everything to hide the extent of his use. So to make a long story short, Oct 29th he got and started using Suboxone. I would say it lasted about a week and he was right back to using. 2 weeks ago I asked him about it and he denied it up and down. But I knew better. Here's the kicker, I'm 39 and want a baby, we want a baby.it was actually his idea. So back in August I started seeing a dr and went thru some procedures. So, basically I was told I got 3 shots at becoming pregnant and after that If it don't happen I need to seek other options. We were using ovulation tester strips so for 7 days he couldn't stay clean???? Last Saturday I went thru his things and just as I knew all along I found a bag o f dope. He denied it was his and all the usual bs. Lets not forget that I am the bad guy here because I don't trust or believe him. So needless to say, today he kinda came clean he admits to using again but still denies how muxh... like I'm stupid or something. So I now have 2 months of pregnancy pills and tester strips and I don't know what to do. I don't want to be with him anymore because I feel soooo betrayed andI ccan't believe a single word he says. He says I'm being selfish and he thinks like its no big deal and its just a relapse but to me its much more than that. What do I do? I feel I will always hold a grudge against him because of the baby thing it will always be in my mind how he got me going on this then let me down. I also know he won't get professional help.