Moonshyne, you are free to leave your comments as well. I wonder (speaking seriously here) which approach is more likely to keep peanutlover safe-- the one by moonshyne or the one I will write, which is less guilt-provoking. In my experience, shame does little to prevent or stop using and often is behind starting using, so I am less into those types of messages.
The truth of the matter is that thousands of children are born to women on opiates every year, and for the most part the babies do fine. The consensus for a person who is using is to stay on methadone during a pregnancy; doing so is certainly safer than shooting up, and probably safer than going on and off opiates over and over. The same opinion has become clear with buprenorphine and Suboxone-- to just stay on it.
For someone like yourself, I would recommend doubling up on whatever your recovery program consisted of. Talk about your feelings to a private group, or a trusted friend. If you relapse, get into treatment or onto buprenorphine-- one or the other, so you can stop using.
As for the paint of withdrawal, they did open heart surgery on babies up until 15 years ago with no anesthetic, and they still often do circumcisions without numbing medicine. Compared to those things, let alone to squeezing your head through a tube half the size of your head, withdrawal is probably not that bad. They don't have the guilt and shame that their mother would have at that time.
No evidence to support that any previous drug use to harm your baby but PLENTY to show that if you start using now you can and will cause A LOT of problems for your unborn baby. The baby could not develop properly and even die in utero. At the very least he or she would be born having to endure SEVERE withdrawals. You know that horrible sickness you get from withdrawals. Now imagine your tiny newborn having to endure the first weeks of life horribly sick from withdrawing from a drug that he or she had no choice but to ingest because you decided to start using. Not a good scenario to say the least. Also, babies born addicted are usually taken away by Child Protective Services and then go on to have developmental issues. PLEASE do not start using again. See your doc and have him refer you to a counsellor to help you through these urges. A baby does not deserve the living hell that comes with opiate addiction. Good luck and I hope to God for you and the baby that you choose not to go back to using again.
Im sorry I'm new to this and didnt realize this was an expert only forum. Mod, please delete and I will send my answer to the questioner privately.