I had so much wrote down yesterday,and got a call came back,and it was all gone-I was so mad!Sorry its taking a bit to respond,just alot of drama n my life!Anyway,Ive read wat u wrote quite a few times,and im so sorry for ur loss!Dats something Ive never had to deal wit,and I imagine u r a very strong person from it!Sounds like ur beatn ur problem,and I will b pulln for u!If u ever need to talk to someone,let me know,and I'll throw my number up there-Bye for now-
I completely understand about your pain. After my mom committed suicide; about 8 or 9 months later I started developing severe back pain. I was a gymnast even at that time; so I thought I injured myself and I also started having severe panic attacks which I've never experienced before. To get to the point. ... I was never diagnosed with depression which can cause great back pain, aches and pain. So I was put on Loritab 10mg. 3x's a day. .. Soma. .. valium. ...and I thought I was doing everything right. I was 26 when my Mom Shot herself in the head; so I felt great when I would take my prescribed pills; so I didn't have to feel anymore pain. After awhile the pain for worse , well my tolerance was built up so much. ..I swear an angel was looking over me because the combinations & amounts I was taking, anyone else would have been dead. I ended up with a long standing addiction, needless to say. I finally got diagnosed with chronic depression. That's why all the pain & fatigue syndrome, anxiety, ect. I finally got off all those pills only to become addicted to methadone! I usually research everything but I was told this would help the cravings & it would cut off the reseptors that give that euphoric feeling. So again. ... not getting proper help. I've been tapering of and I started at 180mg a day... unreal. .. I'm now down to 10mgs a day. I just tried not taking it for the days and I ended having to go back & take 1. I never knew it was an opiate. I didn't research, so now after thinking for 6 yrs that I've been clean, NOT! It can happen to anybody and if you've been on it for that many yrs. You need to stop being in denial, you actually do have an addiction. I lost so much from doing those pills. It's taken me 6yrs. To try to rebuild my self esteem, my dignity, my kids respect. But, my soul has been lost. I'll never be who I was before all this happened. Please, take the DR.s advice & get some treatment. I wish I would have known I was trading 1addiction for another. I'm telling you all this because you need to see before you can accept that your an addict. It's not who you are as a person; it's a behavior that takes control of every aspect of your life. I'll pray for you to get help. Please, doctor doing will do so much harm to you. When and if you'll really need the help they'll think you're just looking for pills. I wanted to share this because we have to be responsible and ask questions about everything. No blind faith. After all even Dr.s are human. You need the right help. Thanks for allowing me to share. I'll be praying
People come to our clinic from every state of this great country as well as Canada and as far as Australia. How far can you be?
Thank you for your advice-I wish you're clinic was closer by-but thanks for answering my question,and yeah I know I got done wrong.!!
You need to find a Pain clinic in you area who deals with patients like you. However, in all honesty, I must tell you that you have not been treated in an a way that is consistent with the standard of care. No twenty year old should be put on opiates for life because of neck and back pain. There are other modes of treatment that should be rigorously utilized and in a vas majority of cases the pain resolves using physical therapy, NSAID's, exercise, weight loss and surgery if absolutely necessary. whether you like it or not, you are now opiate dependent and most of your pain is caused by hyperalgesia that is an inevitable outcome of long-term opiate use.
You are still a young person, so the question is, where do you go from here? Are you willing to go from doctor to doctor looking for one who will give you the desired drug? About fifty percent of patient in our clinic are detoxing from either methadone or Suboxone, both extremely hard to get off of. If you are curious, we do it in under four days and patient leave us completely opiate free and armed with an opiate receptor blocker Naltrexone that cuts down cravings and prevents use. We also work with their pain doctors to work out a new treatment regiment for them to go forward. Believe me, you have much life left to live and you do not need to be living it though the haze of drugs, dependent on your next doctor. You can read come of my blogs and look at my clinic's website by clicking on my name in blue and on my clinic's logo. Good luck to you whatever you decide.